Grandmothers; indulge me please

My two grandmothers were very different. Paternal grandma was glamorous and outgoing. Had ten children and worked hard on the farm. When they retired they took in a country club, photo shows her and Grandad at the bar.
Maternal grandmother very strict Methodist, we were quite scared of her but she was kind under the frosty exterior. Her one sin was having a flutter on the horses and when we stayed with her she’d send us to the bookies at the end if the road with her bets written on a piece of paper, wrapped around the money. She was a town grandma so a very different experience for us country bumpkins.

So sorry for the loss of your Nan, FANNY. She sounds an amazing lady. A Nan to be proud of. It's good to know that there is comfort for you in these grandma memories.
My maternal Nanny was a tiny lady who was early widowed and had to work. She was a live in cook/housekeeper for one of the Rothschild sisters who welcomed us for visits with our Nan. My Nan had arthritis that eventually meant replacement hips, but she was courageous. On the tombstone is - Her Valiant Spirit Lives.
Now I have severe arthritis and I try to be like her. She was full of fun and laughter and we adored her.
My paternal grandmother was a different kettle of fish for whom I feel compassion now. She didn't make friends at all, and caused a lot of trouble between my parents. She and my Mum did not like each other, and Grandma lived with us.
I feel sorry now for her unhappy life = she ended up in a care home with what - in those days - was called senile dementia. My Dad was an only child so she clung to him when my Grandpa died. She was not a happy woman but was rather elegant and had lovely clothes. I liked to go shopping with her for my clothes when I was a child. I knew I'd end up with something I liked. She was a very good cook, too.

Her soul flies free. I didn't know one of my grandmothers as she died when she was only 34. The other died at 67 when Iwas only 6 so so have no memories of grandmothers. You are so lucky....

I only knew one grandparent;my father's mother. She gave birth to him at the age of 47, she already had grown up children, and he was a menopause baby. I was born when my dad was 40, so she was a real Victorian. I remember her as a short, stout woman with lots of iron grey hair. She was quite capable of cuddling one minute but applying the wooden spoon to a backside the next. She died at the age of 93, having outlived her husband by 18 years.
I am so sorry for your loss.

My maternal Grandma brought me up, as my parents separated before I was born. They divorced when I was 7, but I never met my father. My Grandma was very stern, but she had already raised 7 children of her own, and my Grandfather had not worked for many years. Grandma worked, as well as all the cooking and cleaning Grandad taught me to read. Grandma taught me to knit and crochet. She also tried to teach me tatting and lace making, but I had poor eyesight even as a child ( I am now partially sighted, and have limited vision in one eye only). My Grandma could do anything! She made rag rugs, gathered herbs and fruit to make medicines, jam and wine. She was a wonderful cook, and made her own bread, raised poultry for the table (the reason I would not eat meat) and was quite stern. I was a little afraid of her as a child, but we became friends after my Grandad passed away when I was 15 and I grew up. I was 27 when she died. She was an amazing woman!

I'm sorry to read of your loss, Fannycornforth. You are so lucky to have had a loving Nanny. I was born to older parents who were the youngest of big families, so my Grandparents were long gone; I often wondered what it might have been like to have 'another Mother' as it were. You must have so many happy memories of her - hang on to those. xx

GagaJo

You're in my thoughts FC.

One of my grannies, my fathers mother, died 40 years ago. But we had such a lovely relationship. I was adored by her and my grandfather. My parents were rubbish, but those grandparents loved me so much, and I them. I have lovely memories of my time with her.

She is my role model, for being a good granny to my grandson. If I love him, the way she loved me, I will think I have done a good job.

I'm sure you will Gagajo
It sounds as if your relationship with your gran was similar to mine.
I so miss her.

My grandmothers were amazing women. I wrote about them in my blog:
www.1950s.co.uk/post/grandparents

Thank you for prompting these reflections Fanny. What an interesting and sometimes consoling thread.

I didn’t know any of my grandparents but it strikes me that my early-widowed grandmothers were complete opposites. Dad was his mother’s ’late surprise’ and she was possessive to the point that my parents got married secretly so she couldn’t prevent it! Mum’s mum was Irish with 10 children, mum the youngest, and really well brought up. All I can feel is gratitude that my parents met and thrived.

I'm so very, very touched by all your kind words and emotive memories and stories.
Thank you lovely ladies; and all those lovely ladies long gone and forever in our hearts

My Nan was a flower seller at the London Law Courts. One of the original Eliza Doolittle. She raised us as my mum worked full time. She was quite hard, but considering she was 70 when we were born and had already raised 11 kids, it is not surprising.

She had some wonderful phrases. The one I remember most was the threat if we were naughty.

“ I’ll tan your arse so hard your ears will still be ringing next Tuesday”.

She disapproved of reading, and if she caught us with a book, would tell us not to be lazy. She was born in 1880 so had a very Victorian outlook.

So sorry for your loss.

My Welsh Mamgu taught me the names of plants, how to knit, was always pleased to see me. She would tell me to see what was in the cake tin when we arrived. There was always freshly baked treats.

My other Grand-mother was more old fashioned - children should be seen & not heard. But she would send out to the local department store for dresses for all the girl cousins to choose dresses. Mum would say just choose one but Granny would say no take a few.
The boys weren't treated the same! Yet in her will were left the inheritance. None of us minded or even gave it any thought.

I never knew any of my grandparents, so therefore have no memories.

You're in my thoughts FC.

One of my grannies, my fathers mother, died 40 years ago. But we had such a lovely relationship. I was adored by her and my grandfather. My parents were rubbish, but those grandparents loved me so much, and I them. I have lovely memories of my time with her.

She is my role model, for being a good granny to my grandson. If I love him, the way she loved me, I will think I have done a good job.

So sorry to learn of your loss. My father's mother was warm and cuddly, she made the most wonderful cakes and date and apple sandwiches when we went for tea. She left me her heavy twisted silver necklace, which I had always admired. She died of womb cancer when I was only 8 and I really missed her.

My other granny had a title, and played the Lady Bountiful to the neighbours, leaving posies from her garden on their doorsteps if they were having problems. This was embarrassing for the bachelors living nearby! We had to live with her when my grandfather died, moving into her large house where my mother and grandmother fought about the most minor things. She would say to my mother 'such nice children dear, but QUITE undisciplined!'

So sorry for your loss FC my mother died a few years ago aged 95 and I still miss her. I had two lovely grandmothers. My dad's mum of Irish descent incredibly superstitious, and a bit of a gambler. She read the cards and backed horses. She spoiled me because I was a girl and she had only had boys. She died in her 70s. My mum's mum was stricter but a really strong woman who was there when you needed her. She was widowed in her 50s and went on to live an active single life. She loved holidays and flew abroad when planes still had propellers-before jet engines. She died when she was 90. My sons still remember her and the pottery pig she saved money in for them. Our grandmothers are still part of our lives even when they have gone.

I remember sitting on my maternal grandmother's lap, she died when I was six, but I can see a dress with buttons from top to bottom, and her hair in 'earphones', plaits wounds round & round her ears! I had my paternal grandmother for a lot longer, and can remember in my school years when I would go to her house once a week in my lunchtime when she would make a wonderful Cornish Pasty! She was a little lady, and very sweet, and I loved her very much. So sorry for your loss, but you have some lovely memories as I have.

I had a gran , who was your typical born at the turn of the century grandmother . Always had her hair in a bun , and wore a cross over pinny dress. My other was nan was more ' racy ' had a fur coat , and high heels dyed her hair, had a poodle called Penny and I once heard her say shit which at the time shocked me enough to remember it 50 years later !

Sorry for your loss.
We only saw mum’s mum once a year or less. She was a very elderly grandmother with a northern accent which I found difficult to interpret. She died a long time ago but she had become very interesting since I have looked her up on Ancestry,
Dad’s mum was a younger grandmother - only 43 when I was born. They lived nearby so we saw them nearly every week. I spent a week with her every summer. She taught me to knit and she and my step grandfather always came on holiday with us. She lived long enough to be attend my wedding and met her first great grandchild, my daughter who was born on her birthday. She was only 72 when she died.

I don't remember my mum's parents because we moved to South Africa when I was a little girl. My father's parents alsomoved there from their farm in Brazil. They lived with us for a time in an extension built onto my parents home near Pretoria. I don't remember much about Grandad except that he always wore a white boiler suit and a black beret. Grandma was a cutie and we adored her. She used to make chocolate balls out of icing sugar and chocolate and they were lovely. Being a nasty little girl I once got a handful of mud and fashioned it into a ball and gave it to my brother and said Grandma told me to give it to him. The look of disgust on his face when he bit it gave me hysterics. One day there was a big argument between my dad and his parents. I don't know what it was about as they were all shouting in Portuguese. I do remember my Grandma called my father "You little worm" in English. My grandparents left next day and went to my aunt and uncle in Cape Town. My dad let the extension to an old lady. Grandma used to write to my mother occasionally. I did not see my grandparents for many years until I was 21 and travelling to England. Grandad had died and I visited Grandma in her care home. She gave me a set of cutlery in a wooden box which she had inherited from her parents. Grandma and dad were never reconciled. So sad. He died not long after I got to England. She died a little later. Both a big loss to me.
Fanny, I am sorry for your loss. Remember the good times.

FannyCornforth Sorry for your loss.
I can’t speak about my grandparents as I never met them.

My Grandmother was the stability in my life until she died when I was 11. Everybody found my sunnier sister much more attractive to me and my Nan was the only one who championed me. After a raft of men coming through our house, she said she was going to go for custody if my Mum's latest marriage broke up, which was on the cards. I had hope that things would change and then she died. I was devastated especially as her death was used manipulatively from then on to get me to fall into line with my mother's wishes.
When I grew up, I realised that, actually, my Nan, as much as I love her and missed her, was as manipulative as my Mum and certainly wasn't an angel. My Mum was a product of her upbringing which was every bit as chaotic as mine, possibly more. However, if I could have her back, I'd be thrilled. All the lovely bits of her stay uppermost in my memories. She had many lovely ways, would always play cards with me, knitted and sewed us the most beautiful toys, would let me cuddle her and was my champion. I will always appreciate those things.

Sadly I never knew either of my grandmothers who both died before I was born. I think I must have missed a lot, and find it hard to know how to be a granny now. My own mother was not a model granny, probably because she had never had a role model either.

My maternal grandmother was a kind lady who had polio and had been a year in hospital and was somewhat disabled. Since she had 5 girls and many grandchildren although she was kind to us all we did not live close by like the others did and so did not get to know her that well.
My paternal grandmother doted on me she had only my father and one girl had died at birth so I was spoiled by her but she died at only 57 due to a rare blood disease. I wish she could have stayed longer. She was a teacher and also owned some cottages and a store that she ran herself. A very independent lady for her time. This is a photo of me (age 3) with her (standing) and my own mother (kneeling)
both long gone.

My Grandmother, Nan, was 98 when she died having lost her husband many years before and also her daughter [my Mum] too.
She was a butchers accountant, then farmers labourer, then retired selling plants,
She was a wonderful lady. So many relations and visitors turning up unexpected. Always a smile. Miss all those that have died very much.