Grandmothers; indulge me please

So sorry you have lost your Nan FannyCornforth at such an incredible age it's the end of an era. But one which you are never ready for. My Grandma would have been 98 now but she died in 2013.
I am trying to be as good a grandma as she was. I owe her such a lot for all the things she did with me as a child and for my own children.
I remember she had holiday clothes for decades. Salmon pink flares! I was always proud to be with them. They took us to The Lakes and Scotland and we go now with the GCs. I try to be as patient but can't. I now have some bright trousers for days out with the GC as a tribute to her.
Some of our Grandmas have been strong women to admire. Real family role models.
When she was in the home at the end they kept playing old music and she would say she wanted to listen to Ken Bruce. She never seemed old fashioned just timeless.

I hope your Nan is reunited with your Mum. It has been a long time to have lived without her daughter.❤
One of the ladies in the home said she had seen my Grandma's husband come for her and they had left with a golden glow round them.?

So sorry for your loss. I was extremely close to my maternal grandmother who died at 93. We were together a lot, she came originally from Belgium as a young child to live in the East End. She was a seamstress and a very good one. I wish I had asked her a whole lot more questions when she was alive and I miss her every day. Great cook - loved my nans stew, cooked breakfast, thin chips and suet crust apple pie - all good healthy eating !

So sorry for your loss, Fanny. I am the other end of the scale. One grandmother died aged 40 in 1937 before I was born (Addison's Disease). The other one I only met once when I was 2 years old. We moved abroad and she died when I was 5 years old. Both grandfathers had died before I was born too. So I have never known what it is to have a grandparent, but I suppose what you don't have you don't miss.

How sad I am for the loss of your grandmother ,Fanny . Although she was a remarkable age, it doesn't make the loss any easier - my mum was 93 when she died. A good long life indeed but I still didn't want her to go. Her mum - my grandma - died when mum was 19, she had stillborn twins & died soon after so I never knew her. My paternal grandmother died when I was 3, she had a heart attack in the dr's surgery & died there. I do vaguely remember a plump lady in an old fashioned pinny, bending over the kitchen sink!

So sorry Fanny to hear of your loss.
My mum's mother was a darling and my own mother was just like her, quiet and so kind. I always remember going to her house in the country and her baking Irish potato bread and sodas on the griddle, the smell was heavenly. My dad's mum was a bit bossy, she was awful at times to my mum, a bit of a bully. I always had to call on the way home from school to see if they needed shopping and she always grilled me about school that day.
I was the youngest grandchild and the only redhead in the family, which they loved and at that time I hated, so I was a little spoilt by both of them. Plenty of pennies came my way.

My paternal grandmother died just before I was born and her husband died just seven months later ( shortly after remarrying !). My maternal grandmother was a horrible woman. She was a bully and abuser of my wonderful, beautiful mother. I am sorry for your loss. You were so lucky to have her.

Sorry for your loss Fanny. My mother's mother died in childbirth having my Mum. Grandad remarried within a year to a woman who sadly gives me no happy memories. However, my ex-husband had a lovely Gran, so I will always smile when I remember her.

I am sorry for your loss, FannyCornforth ?
It is a great comfort to know that she had a life well lived.

I don't remember either of my grandmothers. My paternal grandmother died before I was born and I only saw a photo of her a few years ago, one taken with my aunt.
I used to see my maternal grandmother most days but she died when I was 4 and I have no memories of her. She was a wonderful woman, by all accounts and beautiful as a young woman.
Sadly, I look nothing like her.

My mother drank tea out of a saucer too - it must have been the thing to do, she had excellent manners!

My granny was Welsh but moved to Liverpool when she married. I had to call her Nain which raised a few eyebrows here in Ireland. She came to live with us when I was a child. It wasn't easy. Our house was small and my mum found it hard sharing it with her mother. Nain was a strong woman, an excellent cook and expert knitter. She wasn't above running her finger along a surface and asking if it had been dusted! Poor mum.

Sorry to hear of your loss, my Mums mum died 20 years ago and it still hurts! She was a real homely person (unlike my mum), family ment everything to her. She used to cook wonderful meals and cakes, her pastry was the best, not sure how she made it. She spoilt my sisters and I and my 3 cousins with so much love and attention. When I had my eldest 2 children she was thrilled to be a great Nan, my daughter was 8 when she died but she remembers her clearly. Precious times.

My Grandma, my mother’s mother, was Lil. A short, stormy, typical souf London woman, stringy as a bean, daughter of a deep sea fisherman.

She had been a lady’s maid to the daughters of a great man, the Ambassador to a part of pre-revolutionary China, and those girls must have loved her dearly for they kept in touch, with little, thoughtful gifts until she died in 1966.

Lil married a soldier, Jim, a dashing lancer during WWI but, after demob, when he was a tram driver, he had a ‘wife’ at both ends of the tram line, and my Grandma, and her two kids, eventually lost out and he moved to Camberwell with the other woman, who had several aliases, and a son by her tram man!

The best example I can give of how she was is about 1960, me aged about 9, my cousin 18 months older. “pop dawn the shop and git me ten woodbines would you dear” of course my cousin has to pipe up “cork tipped or plain, Gran?” we got chased out of the house with the broom, but of course did buy her fags !

Paternal Nan didn’t really want to know us as we had 5 children, and my Dads other siblings only had 2 each. Ironic that as she aged, none of the others wanted to know and we ended up caring for her.
Maternal Nan was absolutely amazing, she lived opposite and was such a hands on, caring Nan. I loved her so much and was closer to her than I’ve ever been to her daughter, my mum. I miss her to this day even tho we lost her nearly 25 years ago.

Well my dad’s mum was brilliant she would fuss me loads she would share her favourite cake with me etc.But she died when I was 11. Couldn’t quite work out why I got all her attention. Over the other grandkids. Until it hit me about my mum’s mother she would never talk to me always ignore me. Every one used to say bet your spoiled being only granddaughter and oldest of 12 grandsons. But in fact it was completely opposite she blamed me for my parents getting married. She always used to say if it wasn’t for you. My parents were happily married 44yrs when my dad died at his funeral it was only day she sat in the home and removed her coat still ignored me. She dotted my brothers. She even told my mum to chose between us. My mum chose her. Yes I did try for a few years then I give up trying. So that’s what I remember about mine. Sorry about your loss glad you had a good one

MissAdventure your Nan sounds like an absolute legend!

Havemercy my Nan's mother (my great Nan) drank tea out of a saucer too! It must have been a thing.
She died when I was about nine, she was 72, but she seemed absolutely ancient.
Women age so much better these days don't they. If you see photos of women in their 40s even as recent as the 70s and 80s they appear to be decades older.

I only had one surviving grandparent when I was born. My memory of her is mothballs!

Very sorry for your very recent loss. My grandmother ( Dad's mum) was a proper cockney sparrow - she and my mother did not get on at all. I remember granny teaching me to drink tea out of a saucer - "because that was what ladies did"! Sure this was to annoy my ladylike mother. A real character and great fun.

Sorry for your loss.
I lost my grandmother when I was 32 and she was 92. A lovely lady. I have wonderful memories of her and was blessed that my own children remember her. They were 7 and 4 when she died and I have lots of photos of her with them.

I only had one and she been left to bring up 7 children alone and had no time for me . I cannot remember a kind word from her and I was a quiet little soul . She died whe I was 14 and I never shed a tear . My mother said to me one day that I had been good to her ( my mother ) and she wished she had been kinder to hers this despite my father helping out the family financially .

I only knew one Nan. The other was trapped behind the iron curtain and grandfathers both died years before.
My English nan lived in the east end of London was lovely but we didn’t have the same relationship that I have with my two GC. No trips out or gifts but then it wasn’t expected in those days. She died at 91 and I think of her often.
I am Sorry for your loss Fanny but how lovely you enjoyed such a close relationship.

I'm so sorry for your loss
My maternal grandmother died when my mum was just a little girl
My paternal grandmother died when I was about 5 years old, my only memory of her is a very little lady in a very big bed

No need to apologise Sarnia, thank you for your kind words.
Some amazing stories here; women really were made of such strong stuff in those days.
Sad for those like Ellan who have little or no memory of their Grandparents.
Thank you for all of your replies.
I'm hoping to go to a garden centre and spend, spend, spend - Nan would have approved ?️??

FannyCornforth

Thank you so much everyone for these stories, thank you for taking so much time. I haven't read them all properly yet.
Thank you too for your kind words.
I'm moping in bed with a cup of tea.
I keep thinking that I should give her a ring...

I apologise for not sending my sympathies to you on my post. You must have some happy memories of her which will be a great comfort to you at this sad time. Take care.

Sorry to hear about your Nan FannyC. It’s nice to hear she had a good life and was with you so long.
My paternal Grandmother kept her distance. I only met her once when she came to Devon to see us when we were on holiday rather than invite us to her house.
My maternal Grandma was a very busy lady, lots of committees, lots of baking and good at knitting, sewing and good at housework without being houseproud.
We lived with my GPs for a lot of my childhood so I learned lots from her.
My 2 fondest memories were,
1. at 2pm every day she would go to the bathroom and have a wash and brush-up so she was ready for when my Granddad arrived home.
2. At about 4pm we would use long forks to make toast and she would read stories while we ate.
She taught us to hunt for blackberries and other fruit in the hedges behind her house and to pick raspberries and gooseberries from the garden, which she turned into jam.
My Grandma was competitive, not just with baking and sewing for TG competitions but when playing cards or draughts with us.
I’m amazed how much your post has made me think about her today. Thanks.

I'm so sorry for your loss but what a joy to have had her in your life for so long.

My Nana lived in London all her life and is my hero. She was the glue that kept her family together. She had 10 siblings and my grandad had 11 and we had some high old parties I can tell you.

My Mum would put us on the Portsmouth to Waterloo train every summer holidays - I was about 10 and my sister 5. She would choose a carriage full of sailors, tell them my Dad was in the Navy , hand out sandwiches to all and tell them to give us to our Nana when we arrived at Waterloo !!

My Nana would collect us and we'd have a riotous 2 weeks. She'd tell us stories of her childhood and we'd go down to Dalston market for treats.

When my daughters were small the youngest wanted to be head of the Bank of England so she could have her name on banknotes and my Nana was in awe of that as she had worked after the war in the Bank scrubbing the vast marble floors on her hands and knees with the other charladies.

She would tell my daughter that she had thought THAT was a good job for a woman so to head up the bank would be amazing.

She was kind, had the strength of 10 and nothing phased her, yet she was - as my grandad would often say ' 4ft and fag packet' tall.

I miss her every day.