Grandmothers; indulge me please

I’m very sorry, FannyC. It’s a part of us that goes when the older generation goes.

My paternal GM died in 1918 so obvs I never knew her. My maternal GM died when I was 4yo so I only have the briefest of memories of her.

Fanny my paternal Nan was born in Darlaston, where all that side of the family came from.

What love was not live ... oops

Sending condolences and virtual hugs to you Fanny Cornforth. If I think about my grandparents my heart still aches that they are no longer here.
My grandma on my mums side is the Gran I model myself on with my grandchild. Loving, fun, always baking and I was very close to her until I was 4 as Dad was away on National service. I found out what live was from her. She told me when with my parents we moved to our own house after we’d gone her and grandad looked at each other and burst into tears. That thought alone brings me to tears and can imagine how it would feel if I was in the same situation with my grandson ?.
Don’t remember an awful lot about dads mum although I do resemble her side of the family more. I did used to have sleepovers there and I do remember having lovely Heinz tomato soup there - something we didn’t have at home.
Take care Fanny

My nan lived 6 doors away from us, and I spent a lot of time with her, growing up.
Nobody knew her real age, as she added or took years off depending on the circumstances.
She was a publican, and a work colleague told me they could remember her banging 2 teddy boys' heads together and throwing them out into the street for fighting..
She had all kinds of sayings, and could be hilarious without meaning to be.
Her language was quite colourful, and she kept some vicious "guard dogs" over the years (who bit every and anyone)

She had quite a colourful past (much to the disgust of my other nan) and married a man 19 years younger than her; so younger than her older children.

So sorry for your loss FannyCornforth. I hope in time you can relive the memories with her, and remember a life well lived.

I didn't really know my maternal grandma, she died when I was 2, so only know about her through family stories and a few photos.

My paternal grandma, my Granny, was a big part of my life, and I loved her to bits. When I started reading this thread, I sat back, and the memories of Granny came flooding back. Some things I haven't thought of for years!

She was a hardworking Yorkshire woman, always on the go, but always had time to show me how to do things. She taught me "tatting", a craft done with one hook, a bit like crochet, and used to make fine lacey edgings for handkies and pillowslips. She also taught me how to darn socks!

Although they lived in a normal semi, she kept bantams at the bottom of the back garden. It was a thrill to be allowed to gather fresh eggs in the special wicker egg basket. Grandad grew vegetables, Granny was a "pickler", she could pickle anything, and had an amazing pantry of pickles and relishes.

She also loved and grew flowers, and to this day I grow sweet williams and London Pride in her memory.

Granny worked at ICI,walking to work in her clogs, to earn enough to send my dad and his sister to the grammar school.
She was very proud of them. One of my favourite photos is of her with my dad in uniform, when he joined the RAF. It sits on my dressing table , where I can see her every day. Actually it's like looking in a mirror, because I am very much like her!

Granny was kind and generous. She hated thunderstorms, and used to hide under the kitchen table with the dog until it was over!

Thank you FannyCornforth for letting me relive the memories! xxx

So sorry you have lost your Nan Fanny. Always very sad when they go.

My Grandma was quite glamorous. Even in her 80s she would be dressed up with full make-up every day. She always looked lovely to me. Sadly I didn't take after her and was out this morning in jeggings and warm jumper and no make-up.

Jan my Nan was born in Wednesbury and lived most of her adult life in Quarry Bank - in the house that my Grandad was born in!
She taught at Mount Pleasant and went to the Methodist church next door to the school.

Condolences Fanny but you were lucky to have her for so long.
I have few recollections of my maternal GP’s I don’t think they were fussed with me even though I was the only GC from their six children.
They both died before I was six.
My parental GM wasn’t bothered about me much either.
I was the only GC from the only boy in the family and was a disappointment as there was no one else to carry the family surname.
My father died when I was eleven and although my mother was friendly with her in-laws I wasn’t treated the same as her D’s children and the D who gave her a home had two children who she practically brought up ,so they remained the favourites until she died aged 95.
My own mother was not a loving GP to my children ,she wanted to dominate them as she had me but they weren’t obliging so she was quite cold to them.
I am course are the best GP in the world, what else would you expect?
☺️

Unfortunately didn’t really know my grandmother’s one died when I was around 5 the other one when 17 and only saw her rarely always had feelings we were not the favourite grandkids ?

So sorry to hear of your sad loss Fanny

My paternal GM was a real black country girl! Smoked like a chimney, yet used to tell me off for not wearing a vest, as I would 'catch my death of cold'! Mum and Dad lived with them until I was a toddler, when Mum insisted they buy their own place as she interfered too much. She used to visit us every Friday afternoon for tea, bringing my brother and I sweets. When at the age of 14 I decided I needed to lose weight (I was quite overweight by then). I asked her if she could bring me fruit. She didn't really like that as she didn't see fruit as a treat! "Our Jan", she said, " Yow bay gorra enough fat on yow to grace a pon"! She was born in 1902 and died in 1975 a month before my first baby was born. I was quite sad she didn't get to see him. She would have been thrilled to be a Great Nan. Her husband, my Granddad, was the kindest man you could meet. His Dad was a coffin maker, and Nan said when she first went to visit his house, the front door opened and there was a line of coffins propped up in the Hall! He died on my DS's first birthday, in 1976 so a bittersweet day

He was born in 1894 and didn't have much education, but he taught himself French by reading French newspapers. He took on the job of 'Lollipop Man' when he retired, and when he finally left that job, he was inundated with cards and gifts from the children.

My maternal grandmother, was born in 1911 and lived to be 95. She had Mum aged 19 out of wedlock! Shock horror! The father denied it, so I never knew him. Nan married when Mum was 3, so Mum was brought up by her maternal grandparents. Nan and her husband lived with his parents, and they didn't allow Nan to have my Mum live with them! Her husband died when I was 10, and she looked after both In laws until they died. It was then she found some freedom. She was such a kind lady, always giving money and presents to grandchildren.

Sorry to hear of the loss of your Gran Fanny you must be feeling really sad. It always hits hard to lose a dear loved one.

My Granny as we all called her in the family died at age 95 years and so like your Gran she lived to a good age. She was still mentally well and had no dementia at all. Physically she
was losing power in her legs and could not get about too well. Granny came over from Ireland with four of her children (my mother being one of them) and two of her sons were in the R.A.F and three girls were left in Ireland with an aunt but once the accommodation was sorted the other three girls came over. Grandad came with her although he died
a young man after catching pneumonia several years before I was born and she spent the remainder of her life without any company of a male in her life. To me it was a wonderful childhood with many aunts and uncles also cousins and our dear Granny lived and was taken care of by my aunt and uncle and she lived a good life. My Granny even had great grandchildren and my first daughter felt special because she had her nan and also a Granny.

So sorry to read of the loss of your Nan FC, I'm sure you will miss her dearly and cherish the memories.
Unfortunately I never met any of my grandparents, being the youngest of a

family of seven siblings. I have heard that my paternal grandmother died in childbirth so she must have been quite young. My Dad and other siblings were brought up by a dear Aunt who stayed at home to look after them, she was probably a teenager herself at the time. Life must have been so difficult in those days.

Sorry for your loss Fanny ?

I was fortunate to have known all my GPs along with two GGMs.

My maternal GP died when I was 4, I can just about remember him, my maternal GM died a week before my 19th birthday we were exceptionally close and losing her broke my heart, it’s still sore as she never met my children.

My paternal GP died when I was mid twenties, my paternal GM when I was forty, she met all my children. She was kind, taught me how to cook and bake.

I would spend most weekends with a GPs remember going to cricket matches with paternal GP, GM would meet us bringing a picnic. I went on holiday with them every year until I was 16.

Such fond memories. Treasure your memory Fanny

Dear Fanny I am sad for you that your beloved Nan has died.
I only knew one granny. We stayed with her after dad died. To think she was grieving a lost son!
She was the youngest daughter of NZ pioneers. Born in 1882, she is a link with another age.

She had been a busy farmer's wife but when I knew her she lived alone in a cottage by the sea and cooked on an open range, chopped wood for the stove, grew vegetables, knitted and painted watercolours for pleasure.
She taught me things and was kind. She had no conception of fashion or style. I was at the local school and was told to make a bouquet for the flower show. I went into the woods and picked bluebells. She gave me a jam jar to take them in. I was mortified when I saw all the other fancy bouquets.

She disliked my DM and the feeling was mutual. However we children were unaware of her viscious streak. We discovered long after she died that she had written letters to my dad, denouncing my DM and begging him not to marry her.
She died when I was about 12 but we had left NZ and her behind by then.

One of them I didn’t see after the age of 10 but I remember her as easy going, quite placid and cuddly. They lived on a farm in Kent. The other one had 10 children and lived in Leeds. I only saw her a few times and remember she was always in the kitchen or scullery as they called it. She was kind and cooked a lot. Her eldest daughter, my auntie, was the boss and ran the household. That sister never married but looked after all the others. They were quite wealthy and owned a print works but Grandad spent most of his time at his club, don’t blame him with all that noisy lot.

Very sorry about your loss your memories will keep her in your ?
My paternal gran was widowed in her forties she brought up nine children. We lived with her all eight of us for twelve years she was a hard woman and strict.
My maternal gran brought up eleven children. A very loving person she was always baking cakes.
Both my grans lived in inner city Liverpool and had hard lives.

Too

So sorry for your loss fanny
My paternal Nan showed me true love. She died when I was 10yo and I still sorely miss her.
My relationship with my maternal gran was distant as my mother and her didn't get along.
On another note I loved being a Nan myself, but life has deemed it not to be.
I wonder if my (estranged?) Nan felt this way to?

Thank you so much everyone for these stories, thank you for taking so much time. I haven't read them all properly yet.
Thank you too for your kind words.
I'm moping in bed with a cup of tea.
I keep thinking that I should give her a ring...

My Granny Annie was a pint-sized powerhouse. She always had her sleeves rolled up doing something. She lived through 2 World Wars and the 5 year German occupation of Guernsey so she had led a tough life. Her husband had returned from WW1 with wounds which left him unable to work and added to that she had 3 children, 2 of which were partly physically disabled. Her generation were master recyclers. Thinning sheets turned sides to middle, fraying shirt cuffs and collars turned, socks and stockings darned and clothes mended. Sweeping rugs and washing and polishing lino floors were all done on her knees. Coal fires meant a lot of work and all meals were cooked from scratch. No ready meals, cook-in sauces and microwaves. Granny used to save jobs for me. Sugar and loose leaf tea came in blue paper bags. I had to carefully open the folds at the bottom of the bags and pour the few tea leaves and sugar into the caddy or sugar bowl. When crabs were in season I was given a hammer, nutcrackers and a skewer to clean the shells of meat. I hated the taste so Granny knew I wouldn't be eating any. She would tell me about her sleepless nights when the Germans were in Guernsey. Food was desperately scarce. A canning machine was hidden in turn by Granny and a few of her neighbours. They used it to can fruit and vegetables to augment their meagre diet. Granny used to put it under her large log-pile in the corner of her backyard. She was terrified of it being found. Her punishment would have been either imprisonment in France or firing squad. Thankfully the machine and it's users all survived unscathed and after the Liberation it found a home in the Scout Hut. Life had been hard but I never heard my Granny complain about anything and I never saw her without a beaming smile. She was so happy with none of life's luxuries. I am proud to be her grand-daughter.

My maternal grandmother seemed, when I was small, to be a typical ‘granny’ of the 1960s, tiny, rosy-cheeked and full of ‘wise’ sayings. However, as an adult, I discovered she was malicious and spiteful. She entertained herself by setting up disputes between her daughters, telling each of them something entirely fictional that a sister had ‘said’. She bullied her children by constant criticism. She had married ‘beneath her station’ to an illiterate farmhand during the first world war when she was 4 months’ pregnant, but that didn’t stop her being po-faced and moralising with her children and grandchildren. She lied about her age and her past, and swept uncomfortable family events under the carpet.

My paternal grandmother was a colourful character, the daughter of a well-to-do middle class businessman, who eloped with the milkman, built up a very successful property business when he left her with four small children, and remarried an exotic European refugee after the war. She was a Cordon-Bleu trained cook, wore designer clothes and taught me about cocktails, smoking and men while I was still at school, much to the horror of my Mum. After she was widowed, she had a string of charming gentleman callers right up to her death in her 80s.

Guess which one is my role model for old age?

So sorry for your loss FannyCornforth sounds like your Nan was a lovely lady.
I didn't know my grandparents either, my father died when I was 16 and my mother died when my children were very young. You are lucky to have had your Nan in your life for so long.

Wonderful, both of them strong working class women who did a lot in the neighbourhood. Taught me to be self reliant, think myself no better nor worse than anyone else, enormously proud and pleased of the opportunities that opened up for me. Both loved reading and talked about books, I still have some of them.
And not least, taught me to raise a hot water crust pie (Nana) and make a light Victoria sponge (Nanny)
Fanny - be sad, and be grateful, and thank you for triggering those memories.

I agree Ellan . I would have loved one.. Unfortunately our daughter never really had one either. Her dad's parents died when she was a baby and my mum when she was three. My dad was no sort of grandfather.