Grandmothers; indulge me please

My maternal grandma died when I was 11. I remember going to her house and she`d divide a Mars bar into 5 pieces for us kids to share, a Mars bar was a luxury. She came to dinner every Saturday, nearly always brought tomato sausage, I hated it! She had very long hair, wore it in a bun all the time, but used to let me comb it out as a special treat.
My paternal grandma lived a long way from us, I didn`t see her very often, until I ran away from home aged nearly 13 and lived with her till I got married at 20. She spoiled me rotten, until I had a boyfriend, then she became very strict, no hand holding, definitely no kissing! She refused to come to our wedding because we were married in a registry office rather than a church. She died when I was 22, in 1965.
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FannyCornforth I'm so sorry you've lost your beloved Grandma.

I loved mine as much and was her only granddaughter . I have her engagement ring that I wear all the time. She was a kind, loving woman and I was lucky that I knew her when I was an adult as well as a child. She was 92 when she died.

I unfortunately never had the pleasure of having grandparents at all. My mums mum died when my mum was 2 weeks old and mum was looked after by her aunt who died before my oldest sister was born. Mums dad died when mum was 15. My dads dad died in 1933 just after my oldest sister was born and dads mum died before I was born in 1942. My two older sisters only vaguely remember our Gran, dads mum. I sometimes envy friends who talk lovingly about grandparents.

I don't remember my Dad's mum s she died when I was a baby, but my Mum's mum I have no good memories of her, she was a horrible person, who hated my dad with a passion, although he was the son in law that would do anything for her. She through her only son out when he was only 18 and never saw him again before she died. She died in her early 60's a lonely and embittered old woman. I would have loved to have my friends gran as my grandmother, as I loved her to bits.

When I was born, I had two full sets of grandparents, and 3 great grandparents alive. My two grandmothers were marvellous and loving in their own special ways, one would hug me and throw her arms open every time I arrived for a visit. She taught me about flowers, plants, growing things, also taught me to sew. She had been a pupil teacher for three years from 1916, and saved up to send herself to a Welsh Ladies Teacher Training College. She was in my life and in my DS life until I was 33. My other lovely grandmother had had a hard childhood, but was a cheerful, hard working, working class woman from a big matriarchal Welsh family. She worked in shops in Ladieswear from age 14 to age 67. 5-6 long days a week. I learnt from her the value of looking smart, working hard and being prepared. She was very funny, especially when her sisters came around. She was in my life until I was 48, 13 years ago. I think about and miss them every day, more so during these times of shielding. One of my favourite memories as a child was when I lived with one set of grandparents, near enough to visit the other. One early evening, they all visited each other, and sitting between my two grandmothers was heavenly. My grandfathers were in the front room, chatting too and watching the football. Sorry for your loss OP.

Very sorry for your loss. I loved my Nan very much, she was my mums mum and lived across the road from us. She was a massive part of my childhood as she looked after me a lot. When my grandad died I used to stay with her over the weekend to keep her company. It was great, she let me stay up late and watch the programmes my parents wouldn't let me watch, The Avengers and Ready Steady Go! ( anyone remember that?)
Thinking of her makes me miss her, Elizabeth Sheldon, I wonder what she would make of the world today ?

Such a loss Fanny but I hope you find comfort in your happy memories of such an important person in your life.

My Granma was lovely to me. Me and my mother lived with her from when I was 2 years old until I was 11. If I had known the future I would have stayed there with her...but I would go to her house nearly every day anyway, that was my home.

She was a widow, and I was very close to her. She brought me up really as Mum worked and socialised a lot. We would have conversations about all sorts, she was very interested in so many things and taught me so much. I would go to church with her every Sunday to keep her company.

Frugal and non materialistic I take after her and share her values and outlook on life. I have been lost without her since she died when I was 35. She would cook every day, made jams with fruit from the garden and hedgerows, her roast dinners were amazing.

Her face would light up when I went to see her and out would come the cake, biscuits or toast and tea. I felt welcome, loved and happy around her.

I miss her every day, she was so kind, a special lady who had a difficult and lonely life in later years. The family were shaken badly when she died. I loved her so much.

Wow there’s a lot of messages on thread clearly a lot of well loved grandmas. My memories of my fathers mother who lived with us when I grew up was a very kind funny lady, who I snuck into her room when I should have been in bed to watch a bit of extra tv! My mums mother I stayed at a lot at weekends cause she lived near the stables I used to work at, she taught me to knit which I love to do. She also always had a bath run for me and my nightie on the radiator! Then I’d go to bed under a golden quilt which I now have and love, such happy memories of them both. Your grandma will be missed but you are blessed to have had her in your life. I’m now a grandma and really hope they will have happy memories of me when I’m gone (hopefully not for 40 years or so!) thoughts are with you ?

My paternal grandmother was a small neat woman. A talented seamstress who taught sewing at night classes. She could make beautifully tailored tweed coats, perfectly lined and fitted to the wearer. I remember going for dress fittings throughout my childhood.
She had a book where she would write down our body measurements in pencil, bust, waist, hips, shoulder to waist etc. All the family members were in that book.
I have my fathers christening gown which she made for him ( he’s now 86), I wore it, my children both wore it.
I have her dining room table in my kitchen covered with a pvc cloth.
It’s the table she used to sew at every afternoon. Sometimes I get my sewing machine out, I can’t do anything clever like she used to, but it feels like a connection to be sitting at the same table she used all those years ago.

She died 35 years ago when I was 19. I wish I could have learned more about how to sew when she was alive, but I wasn’t interested at the time.

She could bake a mean egg custard tart. I’ve never been able to recreate her Christmas stuffing recipe which was amazing.
She didn’t have a huge amount of money, but prized quality. She would buy a decent classic leather bag that would last for years rather than several cheaper ones.
She was also full of anxieties over what other people would think, endlessly analysing everyone and everything which could be very hard work. My mum, her daughter in law, was always on her guard around her.

My maternal grandmother could not have been more different. A large well built woman. Not the greatest cook, could hardly sew on a button and cooked when she had too, not at all practical. She loved people and company. Enjoyed her grandchildren, would get down on the floor and play imaginative games or tell us stories of her youth. I spent much more time with her and her house was much more relaxed. I was much older in my 30s when she died, so knew her more as an adult. She had some wise advice when my children were babies about enjoying them while they were little.

She was forthright and opinionated and we would often clash when she wouldn’t give an inch, especially when I was a teenager.
She would sometimes reminisce about her early courting days with my grandad, how different the world is now. She taught me the importance of a strong partnership for life through good and bad times and sometimes you have to work at a relationship.

Sorry for your loss, this thread has got me thinking about the memories we will leave our children with and resolving to take the best of both my grandmothers and try to pass some of their essence on to future generations.

I am so sorry for your loss FannyCornforth. I hope that your lovely memories of your Nan will bring you some comfort.

Three of my grandparents died before I was born, my maternal GM and GF died at 50 and 52. My paternal GM was 75 when I was born and I never spent time with her on my own. There were always a crowd of other older granchildren around when I saw her. My dad didn't really know much about her earlier life apart from the fact that she had been married twice (he had an older half-brother who was brought up with the 5 children from her second marriage).

My DH has researched our family history on both sides for nearly 40 years now and has gathered a wealth of information about her, but I know that that is not the same as having personal memories of your grandparents. You obviously had a close and loving relationship with your Nan which a wonderful thing to have had. My thoughts are with you at this sad time.

So sorry for the loss of your GM Fanny.

I was extremely close to my maternal GM. She was my rock and I still miss her. She was a brilliant seamstress and made most of my dresses when I was little, always making one for my favourite doll so we would be 'twins'.

I have every single one of the garments she knitted for our boys when they were babies and I keep them together with the wedding dress she made for my mum.

The dress has long sleeves with tiny buttons all the way to the top and the same buttons down the back from the neck to the waist. She covered every single one in the same material as the dress.

I have her manual Singer sewing machine with all the bobbins and needles as well as her thimble. She enriched my life and provided much needed stability during my child hood.

This is a lovely thread and has given us all the opportunity to talk about our own GM's and share some memories. Thank you Fanny.

My paternal grandmother had started life in service as a cook, so made the most scrumptious cakes for me every Friday after school.

We lived with my maternal grandmother, who was very little but still didn't mind a dumpy 10 year old sitting on her lap and asking her to tell stories of "the olden days"!

They had both died by the time I was 17

Sorry for your loss {flowers].
I was the eldest grandchild on both sides; and although, sadly, we lived a long way from both sets of grandparents, I always felt appreciated by both my grandmothers when we visited. One had had lots of sisters and preferred girl children; the other was especially glad of my arrival into the world, as she and her siblings had all had boys. This was just as well, as with my younger brother's arrival I definitely lost status with my mother!
They were both loving and generous, brilliant home cooks who made everything from scratch, made everyone who came to their houses welcome, and - unlike my mother who always felt threatened if anyone did anything differently from, or better than her - were lavish with praise for every small achievement their grandchildren managed. Because of them I can cook, garden, and have a bit more self confidence than might otherwise have been the case. Thank you, Gran and Granny.

I never knew my grandmothers. My mother was adopted, and her adoptive mother died aged 46 when my mother was 16 and my dad's mother died aged 60 the day after I was born. My grandfathers were trash, so I drew the short straw on grandparents.

Sending you all the hugs in the world.??? xxxxx

Very similar to you Fanny Cornforth my mum died early 50’s and her brother soon after so I was Nans nearest relative. We were close when I was young she minded us , took us on holidays and outings, lived to cook and went on foreign holidays in the early 60’s! - all the things a grandmother likes to do. It upsets me to think that my own children never knew either of their grandmothers and the joys they have missed out on. Hope I can be there for my grandkids but the time my children are taking to produce them I’m not sure!
Back to Nan she died age 96 also but it was a sad dementia end for her. Before that however We enjoyed our time together. Trips to the library and the fish and chip shop and how she loved to shop in Aldi well before the supermarkets rise to the heady heights of today.
I hope all you grandmothers out there are appreciated for all you do- i for one can’t wait to join you. Xxxx

Big hugs Fanny Cornforth, and thanks for instigating these memories.
Both paternal GPs died before my father and mother met.
My mum was the youngest of 12, born when Gran was 51, so she was an old lady when I stayed with her and step GP for a couple of years during WWII. Parents involved in "war work". I recall being bathed in front of the fire in the mornings and she used to urge me to "pee in the water" as she said it was good for your skin !! She, too, was a very good cook as I think most of that generation possibly were as everything was cooked from scratch. She always wore a hat outdoors, and the grocer used to pull out a chair for her whilst he served her. (Lovely smells in that shop) She abhored laziness and said if you had not done your shopping by 8.30 at the latest, then you only got the leavings. She was married at 18, and their relationship was a bit colourful. At one point GF had gone to the city for work and she found out that he might be philandering, so she piled all the furniture and children onto a horse and cart and went off to find that he was a singing waiter in a big hotel. She took on the licence of a public house and stayed in the city for the rest of her life. GF died when mum was 2 years old and Gran re-married about 5 years later. He was lovely and I remember him fondly, an ex regular soldier he had tattoos of ladies on one arm and he would tense his muscles and make them jiggle for me. Gran had glorious auburn hair that retained most of its colour till her death at age 96.

Fanny, I’m sad for your loss, happy that you had her with you for so many years, and a little jealous, too.
I had only one surviving grandparent when I was born. My Mum’s Mum lived 30 miles away, and I suffered dreadfully with travel sickness, so I only remember visiting her a couple of times. Her parrot made more of an impression on me than she did. It terrified me with its screeching and sharp beak. I have only vague recollections of an old lady telling me and my brother to go and play in the yard.
Sadly, she died when I was 6, so I never got to know her.
Having a close relationship with grandparents must be a lovely thing. My children only knew one grandparent, too. My Mum lived some distance away, but the older ones remember her well.

My maternal Nan was so sweet and kind. She had 11 children and 25 grandchildren, but had time for us all Such lovely memories going to her house which was always filled with family and l remember such lovely times with my cousins there. I'll treasure my memories of her forever. She died when l was 10 years old, but hope l am now the nannie to my grandchildren she was too me

My mother's mother lived in Denmark and we lived in Scotland, so I only saw her in her summer holiday. She spent a month or so with us every summer.

Daddy's parents lived nearer, but we only saw them rarely.
Grannie did not really approve of her foreign daughter-in-law (my mother) and there had been some trouble between my mother and her one sister-in-law (daddy's brother's wife).

We children never knew the ins and outs of it, nor were we told why the quarrel between two brothers' wives resulted in Daddy's sister and brother-in-law apparently siding with my uncle and aunt. This meant that as children we never saw our cousins or their parents until after the death of the aunt my mother had apparently offended or quarrelled with.

Sadly my grandparents all died before I was fifteen. I would have liked to have known them all better.

I loved my Nanna more than I can say and certainly, a great deal more than my mother, who had a tendancy to physical violence.

She was born in 1900 and died in 1986. I missed a large part of her life because of my mother but we reconnected a few years before she died (and after my mother died) and I made the best of it.

Abiding memory? Popping in on my way home from school and being handed a cup of fresh, home made soup "to keep you going until your mum gets home". I cook a lot of her dishes, have her secret cheese sauce recipe and will miss her as much in 20 years as I did the year she died.

She was my icon although I never got to tell her that. We were not a family given to expressions of emotion.

A year or 2 before she died, however, I had the mad impulse to write about what she meant to me and I posted it to her before I could lose my nerve. I know she got it but she never mentioned it to me. We lived at different ends of the country by then so seeing her was not easy, but always worth it.

Hello there Fanny .
Sending you lots of love ♡♡♡
I never knew either of My Grandparents...they were born in 1877 Annie who died in 1972 when I was 7 and Susanna born 1890 died in 1927 when My Mum was almost 2 (I'm from older parents)I'm actually discovering info through doing Ancestory.
I've just become a Nana for the first time
Do tell us some more re your Nan when you are ready ♡

I don't remember much of my maternal grandma as she died when I was pretty young. She owned a post office and had a TV which we didn't at the time and I remember watching Crossroads on her TV. It always seemed a very different home environment to ours when we went to visit as you had to go through the post office shop part of the building first to get to the private living quarters which I remember seeming quite exotic and exciting to a young child. My paternal grandmother lived nearer to us and she didn't die til she was 98 so I have lots more memories of her. She had curly white hair and baked little fairy cakes for us, she was like a granny from a storybook. She always made me feel loved and special and important and I try to be like her with my little grandson. My own children also knew and loved this great grandmother and we still often talk about her. I have lots of photos and fond memories of her which comfort me when I miss her now. I have been very lucky to have been part of a close knit loving family. I hope thinking of your grandmother and remembering times with her will bring you some comfort too.

So sorry for your loss, but how nice to have lovely memories to look back on, taken out and enjoyed later when the loss is a bit less painful.
Unfortunately both of my grandmothers died before I was born, one apparently on a Boxing Day. I have a few dim memories of one grandfather, who died when I was very young, and stronger memories of my maternal grandfather, who I was fortunate enough to still have until I was a bit older.

Couldn’t post both photos so here is fun grandma