To think I am kidding myself about moving while working

Im not sure why you are moving if its going to cause problems. You shouldnt have to go into work on your day off to do a covid test, these can be done from home. It sounds as if you dont want to move so worrying about things.

Itsawelshthing - so sad to read your post. You are having health issues - your DH needs to do his share here somewhere - school run, cook meals/do housework ... or whatever. I notice that it was quite late when you posted - things always seem worse at night. Hope in these longer days you are already feeling more positive. You and your DH are in this together and his comment is extremely unhelpful. You (and I!) need a bit of assertiveness - don't get angry, get even...well you know what I mean. Don't turn it into a row, but you need to get your views across here. I wish you all the best in your new life and do remember that things won't always feel like this. Good luck!?

Again, a case of we women thinking we have to do it all. Why isn’t your husband being supportive? Why isn’t he taking and picking up your (and I assume) his son to make your life easier? Why can’t he run the errands?
Are you the only one who wanted to move or did your husband have input?
Once he is pulling his weight I think a 45 minute commute will be quite enjoyable for you.

Thinking about it is always worse than when you actually are doing it. You will be fine I’m sure. Try and use the commute to do something you enjoy perhaps listening to an audio book ( they are free on BorrowBox). Good luck with the move.

As people have already said, can`t you change your day off so its not a test day. Hubby works from home but you do the errands and school run, maybe pass some of that load to him. Hope you feel better about it all soon.

It’s easy to get into a state of heightened anxiety. I’m sure it will be fine once you get started - def try and change your days to work with the testing it’s crazy to have to go in just for that. Good luck with it all xxx

Itsawelshthing I don't think you've said why you are moving. There must be a reason. Will your son have to change schools? Or is it actually because he's changing schools? Why can't your covid test be administered locally to save you having to go to work just for that on your day off?

Job moves are stressful, as is the unknown, and I wonder whether it is this that is making you feel as you do?

A 40 minute commute is quite usual - like others above mine used to take an hour at busy times, and I had children too, sometimes at different schools. It can be done, but needs organisation.

What we did was to put the children into wraparound care, which they loved. We were lucky in that there was one at the school they went to. I was on the start-up committee to get it going in the first place, so if your school doesn't have the facility you could do the same - they are well worth having, and for the children it is like a playdate with friends after each school day they use it.

The other thing we did was share the responsibility for picking them up and dropping them off. We are both their parents, so that was a given. This meant that the stress of getting there on time didn't fall to one of us all the time. My working hours weren't fixed, so sometimes I could leave a bit later, and make the journey shorter - missing the rush hour/schoolrun time would shave up to 30 minutes from the journey, and this helped, too.

As others have said, you can use the time to chill a bit, listen to music or an audiobook, or just to 'chill' and have a bit of downtime. I used public transport for my commute, and used to deal with emails on the way in, so that I knew what to expect from my day, and was able to have dealt with some of it before I got in - the journey needn't be lost time.

Everyone's circumstances are different, so I would say to give it a go, and see what works for you. Good luck!

Surely you can do your COVID testing at home now you certainly shouldn’t have to go into work on yr day off. My friend tests herself twice a week from home and she works for the NHS.

Whilst you are keeping an eye open for something new, try not to compare your old life with this new one. Try to find positives in the new life and you will feel happier.

thank you for this NotSpaghetti.. applies to me certainly, not job move, or move... just adjusting to change in circs.

I did a an hours commute for many years and you just get used to it. I used to get talking books from the library to listen to and I even got a set of language CD's - you can learn a lot in an hour to yourself! The only real downside was that much of my journey was on the M25 so if there was a traffic jam, it could be really bad and take ages to get through ! Hopefully you will not have that to contend with!

I hope you're claiming travelling time and mileage for going in to work to undertake a Covid test on your day off?

Wow! Stop! You are getting yourself into an awful tizz. Firstly 40 mins is not that long. Is it an easy drive and can you park at work for free? Secondly don’t ask your husband it’s your life and if you don’t want to work with him don’t. How old is your son ., can he come home on his own? You don’t have to do errands every day and finally do you have to go in for a COVID test on your day off. Change day? Do one at home, write all this down... think about it and it could all work out!

Maybe you have just become anxious about driving itself? I sympathise with you. It can be very stressful, and not at all enjoyable. I agree with the idea of trying out the route beforehand, maybe with someone else alongside?

If a job move ok otherwise add on to house existing

Always use satnav as this will help take pressure of drive off your mind. Even if parts are short uses it. I find satnav helps a lot.

Agree with other posters. See if your employer can change Covid test day.
Ask your DH whether he can do school run some days. Maybe you could even pay someone to drop off or collect your son in the short term to give you some time to adjust.
Investigate public transport or a quieter route if the driving itself is stressful.
Try to explain to your DH that, at the moment,"I told you so" is hurtful/ not helping and that if he could help you investigate ways to change things that could reduce your stress that would be really supportive. It might be a change of job in the future - but only something that you really want to do, including staying in health care if that's what you want.
As others have said, a longer commute can give you thinking time to yourself if you can see the positive side of it.
I did have a long commute for a while and got used to it reasonably quickly.

Could your husband do one of the school runs? Hopefully the covid testing wont go on forever could you do that closer to home?

I agree with others that your Covid test should fit around your working hours. If it is mandatory and you are going in just for the test (and are not otherwise working that day) then I would expect both my time and mileage to be paid. I have done 40 minute to an hour commutes and it quickly becomes part of your day. I listened to the radio and that would help.

And yes maybe your hubby could help with school run.

It may help you to relax about the journey and errands if you get a sat nav, programme in all the pickup/drop off points and put it on the voice mode that calms you the most i.e. male or female.

The voice feels like its your friend helping you to get to your destination safely. I find that it can be a great help even though I know the way. Hope this might help you.

Maybe you can change your day off so you work on the covid test day? Hopefully frequent covid testing wont last forever

Yes the suggestion of local testing is worth looking up- or would they allow you to do the lateral flow tests, which can be done at home, even get them posted out to you? (Am surprised you aren't doing those anyway as we all have to as my sons in college- they tell all the household to do these twice a week.Not sure if schools have sent this info out though, as my DinL wasn't aware you can request them online, nor whole household needs to do them! ?

I used to have a 50 minute journey each way between home and work, and as others have said this time is very useful. Time to plan, wind down or just listen to the radio. For a number of years I also car shared with a colleague who I picked up on my way, the time spent talking things through about our jobs, problem pupils was very cathartic. Admittedly I didn’t have to take children to school as they were old enough to walk themselves but perhaps your husband or another parent could take your son. As for the COVID testing, I am sure it could be done at a centre near your home if you ask. Hope all goes well in your new job.

I think it's early days. Welsh Thing - take it day by day, it's only because it's all so new. Do some dry runs on your day off, slowly. Pity your husband doesn't understand. However, what have you told him. Don't say you're panicking, just say can he help you with collecting your son for a while until you get used to the new regime. You seem to have a lot to fit into the day. Don't change your job, it's a must do job. What does your husband do? Slow down, try to do down time when you're driving, instead of working yourself up. All changes are difficult so changing jobs etc will make it harder. Good luck. Take it slowly.