To think I am kidding myself about moving while working

Thank you all. There's me panicking again over nothing. Driving to work is going absolutely fine and testing I now do it just down the road from me instead of going into work on my day off. In fact my results are coming back quicker (same day), so I think my employer is rather impressed about that. Hope everyone else is well.

I guess it's what you're use to. I moved house 15 times, sometimes overseas, each time having to find a new job, each time with small (at school) children (they had to move schools). One job I had required me to drive for an hour and a half across a desert with only the camels and the nomadic tribes as landscape! I don't think I've ever lived near my job (except before I was married). Up until COVID (I'm now working via Zoom at home - bliss!) I have never had a job less than an hour commute. I have always had the attitude that if you stay in the same spot for too long then there is a chance that you will become a mannequin.

Hi all want to thank everyone for your very kind messages I really appreciate it and sorry I'm so late in responding. I've managed to one day down per week as with my health problems and having to decorate the house I really have no energy to be dealing with any stress right now. Spoken to my husband and he has agreed to help me out as well which is great because he could see that I am virtually doing everything on my own and I only ask him to help once a week to do the school pick up. I am also testing at home and sending it off in priority postbox so that's a lot of weight off me.

hi itsawelshthing,
i can see that you're truly overwhelmed and overburdened by your situation, and it's stopping you from seeing clearly. but for heaven's sake, why are you shouldering the WHOLE of childcare, as well as everything else? unless you're about to tell us that husband does ALL the housework, including shopping and cooking, then it's time to apply a well-placed doc martens! (a boot, if you're not familiar). when you've sorted that one out (and please don't let him say ur fault as ur choice!) you'll see that that covid test needs doing on a different day, or at home!
and then, although there will always be something that bears improvement, i'm sure you'll at least be able to approach with positivism.

If your husband is working from home can’t he do the school run and get any shopping that needs doing or is he one of those hubby’s who thinks it’s up to the wife to do it all !!

I agree with others who have said about getting your test on a day you would be in work anyway, or having one at home. If you are having to go in to your workplace to do this when you have moved, it will not only be an hour and a half of YOUR time (as it's your day off), but also the petrol costs of the journey there and back. I know you said you have managed to drop a day, but is there any chance you could combine your hours into two full days of work? Maybe on the days you work your husband could do the school drop off / pick up, and then you would only have two days of driving to do and would have more time at home.

Why isn't your husband taking on the responsibility of getting his children to school?

Yes, testing from home. Husband works for NHS and me at school. We both test from home twice a week. Been doing close to 50 mile round trip for 11 years. Used to it, though gone part-time gradually. Have used the time for radio, CDs, story books, audio study. Aldk do extra driving to visit family who are all over the country. I do dream of a car-free life. One day.

Pick a quiet day or mid afternoon and do a trial run
That way you will be more familiar with the route. I did this when I took live in jobs in different areas. It helps you feel more relaxed about the journey HTH xx

It is utterly ridiculous that you have to go into work on a day you do not normally work for a covid test.
Can you not take a LFT at home?

If husband is WFH why can’t he do some school drop offs?
Also as someone has said why can’t you do your Covid test at home ? My daughter does a weekly one at home as she works shifts .

When my office closed the nearest place to work was 35 mins away and I found the perfect answer,audiobooks,worked brilliantly some days I could hardly wait to finish seeing patients to get in the car to see what happened next ! Don’t worry it will work out fine,I always find when in the car no one can get hold of me so peace and quite if I’m so inclined,it’s me time,good luck.

If your husband is working from home, can he not do one of the school runs and would it be worth asking your boss if you could change the day for your testing so that you are not making an extra trip for that ?
I am sure that after a while it will become second nature and no doubt you will find a few short cuts !

Your DH sounds like a spare part, and not a helpful one at that! If you are worried about getting back for your son, perhaps he could at least pick him up if working from home - a bit of father/son time that they might enjoy. Good ideas here to practice your run and maybe use a satnav. I agree with others about the journey too, I had 45 mins to an hour each way each day, and it is lengthy, so use it to sing and unwind with the radio, plan your day, make a mental shopping list etc. Also, do your shopping online and make sure it comes at a time when DH can put it away. If you enjoy your job though, your son will soon be more independent, so try not to let your worries overwhelm you until you've given the new journey a fair trial.

Firstly you shouldn't have to take a covid test on your day off, so discuss this with your employer.
I was a single mum who walked 8 miles a day in all weathers while bringing up a child with special needs, so I'm sure once you have settled in you will cope very well.
Your husband should be taking responsibility of your son and household chores too.

I loved working over an hour's drive from home. It gave me time to myself; I had a shift working husband, horses, dogs and two kids plus an extra p/t job and an on call from f/t job! It amazes me now that I copied with it all, but we just do. Good luck and try not to get anxious. I hope your DP & DS pull their weight, even small DC can have little "helping" jobs to do and it can take a little bit of the stress off you.

itsawelshthing - sounds to me as though your husband has a good deal - he works from home, has no travelling and must earn enough to manage - is that so or does his work-from-home salary mean that he's taking a cut on what he could get with a job he must physically attend? Does the 'luxury' of him working from home mean that he sacrifices a higher salary and means that you are forced to go out to work to supplement the family income? If you really are forced to go out then I guess work is a necessary evil for you rather than a vocation and if that's the case, why put yourself through this punishing schedule? My next question is whether your husband's situation means that he can relieve you of the school drop off and pick up? Are you children close enough to home for him to walk with them or to use public transport (I'm presuming you don't have two cars here). A 40 min drive from home is likely around 25-30 miles away. It might be lovely on a summer's day but in winter it could be much longer with rain on the roads, dismal lighting etc. Personally, I think that the regime you are setting yourself up for is quite gruelling and you're only looking at it as things are now but with children at school their pick ups will eventually change and things will happen to mean that sometimes they'll stay behind at school for additional sport/clubs etc. - how will you fit that in? I did a 40 minute journey to and from work for 18 years with one child only and the support of my husband for school drop off and mother for pick up. I loved the job which brought in twice what my husband earned so I never faced any pressure to give it up but I was always tired. Lots of things for you to consider here and one of them is whether what you truly gain by this long drive (emotionally, professionally, and financially) does in fact outweigh what would you would gain by doing what your husband suggests and working from home. Good luck in your thinking on this one.

My family are front line NHS and are provided with home testing Covid kits. The results are computerised. I'm not sure why you have to have the test done on site.

Your husband works from home so maybe he can do one of the school runs?

Hello there
Why do you have to go in to do your covid test on your day off?Can they not be done if u go in a little earlier on day you work or do one at home yourself.U need time to yourself ...

As others have said it would be better for you if your husband shared the school run especially as he is working from home. Also you are using the same fuel and time travelling for part time hours including going in on your day off. Could you not work say three full days a week to include the Covid testing day?

I think you need to discuss worries with husband and see if you can plan a strategy of sharing pick up duties or the school run on a couple of days!
Get your priorities sorted over travel, route, timings, distance, cost etc! See if you can be tested near home on your day off ! Work together to overcome your fears! All change is stressful so treat yourself to a pamper now and again to de-stress and realign yourself!

Surely your DH should take some part in managing school runs. You appear to be trying to do it all, work, children, shopping. Speak with DH, you need some help.

My son also tests himself at home and he works in a PRU ( pupil referral unit) does seem excessive to have to go in just for the test . But even so that won’t be forever will it ?

Several people have suggested using a satnav. If you don’t have one, there is an app called Waze which you can have on your phone, or you can use Google Maps.