Putting my head about the parapet

I think it's just become a two income society because two incomes have become the norm. It makes it harder for those who want one income for a time to make that choice.

I agree vampirequeen the wheel seems to have turned full circle. Full time parenting is not rated as valuable as being in employment. It's a shame as it is such a vital role. Material expectations are higher, the job market does not allow leeway for parents who take a break in their careers for child care.
Having said that I would not have enjoyed full time parenting, my husband & I were fortunate in that we could work shifts so that one of us was at home for child care.

vampirequeen full time mother’s are definitely undervalued today which is quite wrong. We have become a very materialistic society and people are often ‘valued’ on what they have in terms of material assets e.g. big house etc. Most full time mothers will be unable to compete with two income families (although there are exceptions if husband/partner is a high earner.)

But why would you campaign for that just for women. Young women tend to be out performing men in university and in early stages of career, why would you not campaign for the lower earner to stay at home which in lots of cases would be men. I changed from management to part time work when my children were young, I dont think you can underestimate the impact on the person who takes that 'hit'.

I only know one stay at home mum, her husband makes enough to keep her and 4 kids well, she has an ordinary house and a oldish car, it’s what she wants to do. Everyone else including myself has work of some kind, we are all different as long as you are happy don’t fret about staying at home.

I understand what you mean Vampire but it's not just running a home is it? These days people have higher expectations - they want foreign holidays, the latest technology, etc.
When I was a child (one of five) we rarely took holidays, didn't have many toys, had to make things last, make do and mend. Mum went back out to work part-time in her mid-forties as we had an extra mouth to feed. We never had a car or the latest 'stuff'- I think that many women are exhausted from 'doing it all'. In one of my jobs some of the part time ladies would say, "I was up until midnight finishing the ironing" and suchlike. There's got to be a happy medium somewhere, but where is it?

Kim19 yes agree with what you have said. Expectations much higher today so that one wage is not enough. Young people tend to want everything new and maintain the life style they had pre children. I can’t imagine anyone today putting up with the basic kitchen and bathroom I had when my children were small. New bathrooms and kitchens can wait but you cannot get back the time you have missed with young children.

I’m not criticising my children’s generation, but their expectations are much higher than ours.
I went to work when my middle child started school, the youngest went to nursery, but even then I was fortunate enough to change my hours, so that she only went half days, and I always delivered the children to school and picked them up.
I don’t regret those early days at all. We were very good friends with another family, my friend and I got together every day, sitting in each other’s gardens, going to the park, the children were good friends, I wish my daughters could have had those relaxed and enjoyable years.

Think I agree with Iam in that our basic expectations and wants are so much higher. We don't want to do without anything but we are prepared to both work to get our 'everything'. Also the absence of parity is an excellent issue requiring attention. Don't think we had a holiday (other than with family or youth hostel) for the first ten years. Didn't expect it but sure, in my heart, wanted it. So many of what would now be considered ridiculous sacrifices were practised but that was our 'choice' if we opted for one stay at home parent. I would say we managed 'fine' on one pretty low pay but it was our choice. I was lucky enough to get back into my line of business once younger son was 14. I've no regrets but often wonder about the parallel life.

My question is why aren't we campaigning for more women to be financially able to stay at home if they want to. It used to the norm than men were paid enough to keep a family. Now the norm is that most families need both parents to work even if one would rather bring up their children.

Surely we should be campaigning for people to earn enough to keep a family and allow mothers to bring up their own children (if they wish) rather than paying others to do it.

Full time mothers seem to be undervalued today. It's as if they're lacking something because they want to bring up their own children. The daft thing is that if the same woman worked in a nursery caring for other people's children she'd be seen as a valuable member of society.

I chose to stay at home to look after my children until they went to full time school and then I went back to work part time. To do this we had to make sacrifices. For example a very small house the mortgage based on my husband’s salary only, holidays camping , second hand furniture, one car, etc . I have no regrets and loved the time I was able to spend with my children.

Iam64
That’s very true, we often say we had no expenses apart from food, mortgage, utilities and clothes when absolutely necessary. We had a second hand fridge, reconditioned washing machine, black and white televisions donated by one of my husband’s aunts, no phone, heating consisted of coal fire and paraffin heater.
I’m not moaning, most of us were in the same boat, and my grandparents thought we were really lucky to own our own home, and have indoor plumbing.
But times have changed, my daughters certainly wouldn’t want to live like that.

Sorry vampire, I do not mean I don’t care about low wages

Some men and women like to combine a career / work with having a family.

People’s expectations change over time. Eg when I bought my first house in 1970, I managed without a fridge. These days, people often expect to replace the existing kitchen and bathroom

Low paid workers need both parents to work to manage to provide housing, food, basics

I’m more concerned with the fact women continue to earn less than men, than in demanding men earn enough to maintain a family

I think it’s mainly financial, I don’t think many young women can afford the luxury of staying at home.
When we had our first mortgage it was based only on my husband’s salary, that hardly ever happens now.
I agree with you, women should have choices, and I think in an ideal world, one parent would love to be around more for the early years, but I think very few would be able to.