The meaning of life ?

What a lovely post holly steers, I think I might take your advice about finding my faith again. I hope you are well now, you must have been through a lot. I do worry about getting cancer since three family members got it....ClareAB I do find great solace from being in nature and find that it grounds me.

Maggie, I think being drawn back to faith and spirituality as we age is a perfectly natural thing to do. Maybe if you practised it, with all its faults, you would find the comfort and meaning you need, in the companionship of others.
As I hate the thought of my children grieving overly, I have told them my life has been wonderfully satisfying and if I die tomorrow (I’ve had cancer twice) it’s been marvellous (well not all through obv.), they have been the light of my life and no regrets. I felt so sad for my own mother when she died, talents unfulfilled and a very unhappy marriage.
Bridget, you need to arrange joyful time away from Victor Meldrew!

Live in the moment. See the skies, the clouds, hear the birds, value the smiles, rejoice that you've been lucky to live this long, smile at the sound of children playing, relish your favorite beverage, look for those who run to help when disasters happen, smell the rose, admire the industry of ants.
None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. So take small pleasures from today. Even if you've spent the day in bed, watching netflix, being totally lazy.
Perspective is everything

Your comments are all so interesting. I just want to find some peace of mind, I cannot change all that I have been in all my years( I am 66). I want to accept my past(doubting I made the right choice in my husband), because how do I validate my life, if the basic choice I made, I now realise was probably wrong? I am too cowardly to put words to this out loud. Even to OH, who has no clue. Some would say I owe it to him to explain my feelings, but as is typical of women my age, I thought he would change or at least become more mellow. But the opposite has happened, he is now a retired Victor Meldrew, negative about everything. Which brings me back to my desperate feelings about life ending for me, quite naturally I hope, but with some level of acceptance and calm. Sorry to be so negative myself about things

Thank you Grammaretto and I’m sorry for your loss.

I agree that as a society we don't talk much about death although it is inevitable and if we are a couple, one of us will be bereaved. A fact.
I was very glad that DH was able to come home from hospital to die and we were all with him. For my DC this was the first and only time they had been at a deathbed and like birth it was a natural process not a medical procedure.

I can't take away your preoccupation but can suggest you work through it, maybe by learning more, like you are doing here and you may arrive at a happier place.

To die would be an awfully big adventure. To live would be an awfully big adventure.

– Peter Pan (J.M. Barrie)

timetogo2016

TBH i am not bothered at all about dying,i worry more about the people i leave behind and how sad they will be,especially my 2 sons,2 dil`s and all of my grandchildren.
We are a very close family.
I do believe in the after life so i can watch them all from a lovely place.

Exactly how I feel timetogo2016. I know the children and grandchildren will be so sad and I hate the thought of them missing me. Sometimes the loss of a parent can affect people deeply, and I worry about them especially DD2. I know she will be an emotional wreck. There is nothing you can do about this whilst you're alive!

Thanks for the link welbeck, this looks really interesting. I think there needs to be more open discussion about death - people seem to shy away from it these days. And has anyone noticed how the word “death” seems to have been replaced by “passed away”? It seems to represent a denial of the fact that we all die!

Peasblossom

I’m not a Christian. It’s just scientific fact. The matter that makes us cannot be destroyed. It once was something else before it became us and will be something else when our body no longer exists.

The matter that makes us will take infinite forms. There is no “death”. Only change.

A couple of years ago my Grandson told me he hadn’t been sleeping well.
I questioned if he was worried about something, he said “No” then hesitated and told me he was worried about dying as he didn’t believe in God.
Even though I am a Christian, I told him, he didn’t need to believe in God and told him the scientific fact about energy.
He was quite satisfied with that explanation.

i don't know if it is relevant to some, but have you heard of the death cafe movement.
deathcafe.com/

Well Bridget, it’s a really tough one if you have a mindset like ours. I didn’t used to be like this but growing older and seeing loved ones die (one quite young) has affected me; so understand where you’re coming from Shropshirelass. My mother who is 90 isn’t worried about death but she does have a faith. I know that I need to find something, be it God (I was raised Catholic and it’s in my bones) or learning from Buddhism. I wish I was one of these people who can accept there’s nothing they can do about it so they simply don’t think about it but I’m just not like that.

I have had to suppress my negative feelings about life for many years. It makes no sense that we have this life, then have to leave our beloved families behind, and we are here for such a short time. I have occasionally tried to bring it up with some people, not necessarily family, but people don't seem to want to dwell on it, understandably so. How do we chase such negative thoughts away? I just don't get how we bring our kids into the world, to love and adore them, and then we have to leave, and my grandchildren, I want to see them grow up and what careers they have. Its a hard cycle to break, and I find it so hard not to dwell on. Any suggestions?

Oh dear, I feel a little bit like this but only because I have been surrounded by people with ill health and death of loved ones for the last five years! It has been relentless and does start to play on your mind! I am trying to be more positive and tell myself I still have a lot of life to get on with, and I will!

Kim19 For me it would be sitting in my favourite chair, and just falling asleep.
This apparently happened to an aunt recently. She was on her phone to her DD discussing Christmas presents for the DGC and she went quiet. She had had a stroke. She hadn't had a day's illness before. Not very nice for her DD but she was over 90.

The thought of being dead doesn't worry me one bit but the prospective process of getting there has me a little concerned. I'm cowardly enough to hope for a very sudden and unexpected heart attack.

I have often thought about death these past 4 years since my DH was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (actually we didn't realise the stage because he didn't want to dwell on it)
We had a few things on our bucket list and we managed to enjoy most of our time left together.
When he died in November he told me he would always be with me and our love wouldn't die.
Ofcourse I am missing him but I have no regrets. He died at home surrounded by his family.
I can think I will join him and I am certainly not afraid of that.
I maybe fear getting decrepit but all the DC have power of attorney so any decision about me can be passed to them.

As for what becomes of us: I do have a faith and believe that love is eternal. We become part of the stars.
Meanwhile I am careful to tie my laces and not take unnecessary risks.
Old age doesn't come easy and my MiL who is 96 says we just have to get on with it.
The meaning of life?:
If I knew that I would know the mind of God. "Stephen Hawking"

I've just looked. This thread is called 'The meaning of life'

I have often wondered why people think there is a meaning to life. Our coming into being is the result of a single interaction between a man and a woman and the genes we inherit that make us who we are are a throughly random mix from both parents. Why should that result in the person that results being born into a life that has a meaning?

I’m a Christian, so although I do sometimes fear how I’m going to die....actually dying doesn’t worry me.

Don’t think about it. We can’t do anything about it. I feel that nature wastes nothing so who knows. I know lots of people who didn’t get old, so it’s a pity to worry about something you’ve no influence over.

TBH i am not bothered at all about dying,i worry more about the people i leave behind and how sad they will be,especially my 2 sons,2 dil`s and all of my grandchildren.
We are a very close family.
I do believe in the after life so i can watch them all from a lovely place.

Exactly PurplePixie !

Why worry about something that we have no control over. Cheer up, eat chocolate and have a G & T or three!!

I've not feared death since my dear Gran had a near death experience. She said that she was walking along a tunnel towards a beautiful garden full of all the people she'd known. She was filled with happiness and was very upset when she was resuscitated and forced back to life.
Whatever the explanation the scientifically minded give for this it sounds lovely to me.
I do worry about what happens before then though. I fear unpleasant illness.
I could go tonight and know I'd done enough in life but I'd like to know more, to see more, to meet more people. I don't have much control really. Que sera sera.

I could die tomorrow from a random accident or a sudden medical emergency. I could have died yesterday from an accident or medical emergency, but didn’t. I’m glad to be alive today. That’s enough for me.

Emily if you don’t believe why would it worry you ?