Feeling sorry for men

Lucca

Question, if a male acquaintance says “your hair suits you like that “. Is that ok ?if he says “you’ve lost weight !” Is that ok ?

That's my point exactly. Innocent compliments can now be construed as harassment or abuse.

My point was your DH is worrying about being polite those women are worrying about how to deal with exposure in a workplace.

Well he is obviously a dick but most men aren't but they risk being labelled.

Question, if a male acquaintance says “your hair suits you like that “. Is that ok ?if he says “you’ve lost weight !” Is that ok ?

No he is getting his penis out at regular intervals all his cast members confirm this. He has been reprimanded by the producers of one show for his behaviour.

All predatory and abusive behaviour is wrong regardless of the gender of the abuser. But most men are not abusers.

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Galaxy

How will women know which ones are predators and which ones arent. There are currently reports of a well known TV show where its was commonplace for a man to lay his penis on the shoulder of his female cast. The issue is not people holding open doors.

He put a microphone on her shoulder, and suggested it was something else, still appalling, but not the same as the actual thing. This is why social media can be so dangerous.

I’m struggling here to decide where I stand. I hate any kind of predatory or abusive or even inappropriate behaviour from men but equally I have to say sometimes things go too far as in the personal trainer example quoted, ridiculous in my view. And if they do it is counter productive to trying to get rid of sexist behaviour.
Oh dear I can’t organise my thoughts this morning.

Galaxy

How will women know which ones are predators and which ones arent. There are currently reports of a well known TV show where its was commonplace for a man to lay his penis on the shoulder of his female cast. The issue is not people holding open doors.

I'm not talking about men who get their bits out. That's a bit of an obvious sign that they're predators. I'm taking about the everyday man who feels like he's constantly walking on eggshells.

Galaxy- blimey. Not exactly subtle! DH would definitely know not to do that!

I agree with the OP. It is hard for decent ordinary men to get it right these days. Word meanings change to imply things that they never did before.
DH was saying just yesterday when I was telling him about a conversation I fell into with a woman about her dog, how he couldn't just fall into conversation with a passing stranger in the way I can. (I do play the nice old dear when I meet nice dogs when out for a walk).
Similarly, he felt he had to look away when a little girl in the queue on front of him wanted to show him her new shoes.
It's not easy for anyone these days in a world full of people looking to take offence.

Galaxy - so that's what he does. Good heavens above.

Aye, my heart bleeds for them. Or maybe not. ?

Don't have much sympathy afraid. If anyone doesn't know what is acceptable behaviour these days, there's no excuse.

Interested to see other people's views though, thanks for starting the thread VQ

How will women know which ones are predators and which ones arent. There are currently reports of a well known TV show where its was commonplace for a man to lay his penis on the shoulder of his female cast. The issue is not people holding open doors.

It’s a tricky one. My bloke still walks on the outside when we’re on a pavement because that’s how his mother taught him he should., personally I sneakily don’t mind those sort of old fashioned courtesies but I don’t like anything which implies I can’t, say, think for myself. I would never object to a compliment either from a woman or a man, but sadly some men ..even old ones... can get it wrong and make smutty comments.