Feeling sorry for men

My DH would have sent me next door to re peg the knickers on the line. Today it is a lot better than years ago. I can remember one boss who used to think it was ok to pat our bottoms, until I told my mam and she came into work! I was only 17 at the time. The guidelines are there now and both men and women have to adhere to them. It isn’t rocket science as both sexes should be respected.

Alegrias
"I'm afraid people who can't see the difference between commenting on the weather and commenting on someone's physical appearance are the problem."

You are so right!

During covid, we met a daycare teacher and she commented how chubby my daughter had become since lockdown

I had to explain to her that commenting in anybody's appearance is not appropriate, much less in front of the child.

Do misogynists ever lighten up?
vegansrock Dunno! None around here to ask!

How many misandrists does it take to change a misogynist?
OoRoo

Grammaretto - thanks for introducing Jane Austin- what larks

Having just read Vampire's entire very interesting thread I must compliment you all on the thoughtful replies
I can't help thinking this is nothing new. Read Jane Austen for examples of taking offence easily.

Covid has exaggerated the difficulties. Where once I would go to someone's aid if I see they have dropped something or need help with their shopping, I now feel I can't.

About 40 years ago a woman acquaintance came to the door and DH invited her inside. "Is .DW... (me) home?" she asked. DH was horrified to think she thought he was being inappropriate.

I'm afraid people who can't see the difference between commenting on the weather and commenting on someone's physical appearance are the problem.

I am not afraid to help with a lost child. Most of the time parents appreciate it. I just won't take them anywhere else than where I found them (unless there were obvious safety issues where they were).

I was at the hospital a few weeks ago and a toddler had run across the car park. Mum and Dad were busy loading up a brand new baby in the car. I took the child's hand and lead him back to his parents. They didn't seem to appreciate it, probably thought it was interference, but this kid was on the road around from a sharp bend. Occasionally you get that kind of response but most of the time the parent says thank you.

Galaxy
Agree

There are ways to help a child that are relatively easy, with a lost child it is useful to help with another person. There are all sorts of reasons for this. I found 2 very young children wandering our village, they were around 4, and it turned out had been in the front garden and made a run for it. I did help them, but it was extraordinarily difficult as they were frightened. It would have been much much safer for those children if I had asked someone else for help.

Santana
I may not get any thanks, but I couldn’t leave a crying child. I would hate to think of our youngest granddaughter lost and frightened, and no one taking any notice of her, it just goes against human nature.

I'm afraid the knickers would have remained where they had fallen, with a word to neighbour that she was having a laundry malfunction.
I don't think OH or myself overly worry about offending people, just rely on good manners, tact and a bit of social awareness.
The area that bothers my OH the most is contact with children. We both get uncomfortable when small children are unsupervised, particularly at the seaside. Last summer, a naked boy, aged around 3, was just wondering about, and no one seemed to go near him. He eventually found his family a lot further away, and they were oblivious to his adventure.
We have had many discussions on this kind of incident, and OH will never intervene, unless they are drowning.
Sad indictment of the world if we are afraid to comfort a lost child and take them to safety.

Gingster are you going to ask the management why they deleted it?

I posted on here and it’s been deleted. Can’t for the life of me understand why! Very annoying!

Sara1954, just love that!

Loislovesstewie
We work in a company in which almost all our customers are male.
When someone is approached by our tiny, blonde daughter, they often say ‘can I speak to one of the chaps love’ she smiles, ‘yes of course’
So one of our male colleagues takes over, and says, ‘oh I’ll just get S—— she knows more about this’
She is incredibly knowledgable, and helpful, just has a job getting anyone to believe it.
To be fair to our regulars, they’re happy to be told what’s what by her.

I agree with Sparkling. She's put that very well. (Sorry if that was too complimentary ?)

'Men just need to use some common sense and basic manners.'

AS do some women.

I agree totally Vegansrock.

Time for change.

In the end, I think context is everything. I was just thinking that when I left my last job someone wrote in the card that they will miss seeing all the beautiful items of clothing I wear (I did have some nice ones, to be fair, and they were unique) and I wasn't offended. I laughed, it was quite sweet. Mind you, it was written by a woman and I did know her well enough. I'm not going to get offended about someone holding a door for me. Too many bigger issues in life. If I was dating and a man pulled out a chair for me? I'd probably think he was trying a bit hard. Maybe some men just need to think a bit more about context in some situations?

Do misogynists ever lighten up?

I shall tell Grampy to start letting doors swing back into peoples faces
N&G No1 That's not fair. He could be hurting an innocent by-stander!
Far better to let "Lady Muck" waltz through then slam it on her heels!
Of course you can always plead that your poor arthritic hand couldn't hang on to the door any longer!
The proliferation of sliding doors has reduced the number of opportunities for certain people looking to be affronted!
Do misandrists ever lighten up?
OoRoo

On another note I find it amusing that chez nous I am the one who does the DIY but when we have work done by a tradesman some seem to want to talk to my DH, as if he would have a clue! He is the least practical man ever and hands them over to me. It seems that some still think the little woman can't do any DIY.
And I agree that I don't need to swan through an open door when I can open it myself. Common courtesy applies if I have my hands full.
Men just need to use some common sense and basic manners.

Some sad perceptions on here. You cannot comment if someone looks nice but you can on their intellect or achievements!!! So if you are not, sit in the corner.
You have to pass an injured child by if there are no witness to vouch you don't accost them! So presumably if they were going to run into the road, you've would shout to a toddler, halt, do not go any further, return to the pavement until your responsible adult appears. Dont interact with people when out unless it's misinterpreted, not everyone lives with someone they can go days without seeing anyone, but whatever they do don't start a conversation you might say the wrong thing, , there's always the weather I suppose. You could say it's lovely to see tge sun to someone, but they have had their garden turfed and want the rain. How far do you take this. So if you're elderly and lost your family,when out keep your mouth shut. Thank goodness I've not come across such pettiness, overthinking every comment. I think some people must have too much time on their hands. Generally people are nice.

Sorry wrote the above in reply to a previous post.
To answer the OP. I am more sorry for women who can’t walk home alone in the evening, or who are constantly harassed on the street with catcalls or groped on the tube , or schoolgirls in their uniforms being propositioned by men or sexual remarks made by boys at school ad infinitum. Women have always had to “be careful”, now men have to as well. Yes it’s a shame that “innocent” remarks or behaviour can be misconstrued, but if men challenged other men consistently then the unacceptable behaviour that has been commonplace may one day decrease. We were shocked when the husband of a couple we vaguely knew was accused of touching up one of his daughter’s friends when he took them swimming. It’s such a shame a man can’t take children swimming we thought - it subsequently turned out he had hundreds of images of child porn on his computer.

There’s a lot of misogyny on here .