Feeling sorry for men

Have you read difficult women by Helen Lewis
Galaxy Not Yet!
Thought you'd like to be the first to know that I've just ordered a copy from "The Book Depository"! $18.00 post free.
Will be with me in 2 weeks! Cheap at half the price; can't argue with that. Thought you'd be pleases!
Perhaps you could ear-mark anything of interest for me as you read to save time later!?
Good Reading
OoRoo

To be fair I brought up the dolly bird thing.

As in "Don't treat us like dolly birds there for your entertainment"

And then....

It is a pity that out of all the granddad members (how many are there?) Rufus should put his big foot in it.
Dolly birds (haven’t heard that for years) and here for his entertainment. Oh dear.
Let’s console ourselves with the thought that hopefully he doesn’t represent the average (probably younger) male.

A male manager once told me with approval that I was considered a difficult woman by our IT Department. He said it meant that I knew what my department needed and was not going to accept anything the IT Department wanted to give me that didn't meet our requirements.

A month or two later the software developer working on our system also told me that the IT department had warned him I was difficult to work with, but actually he had found me quite easy to work with because I knew what was wanted and could describe it clearly, with out constant change and he agreed that my solution was the correct one.

The system worked very well indeed when finished.

Have you read difficult women by Helen Lewis, I am in the middle of it and really enjoying it.

Hithere

Or men stay home instead

But then who will buy us pretty things and compliment/ insult And catcall/ ignore us to ensure that our self esteem remain where they want it?

Galaxy

No leave it, always best to allow sunlight.
Women who dont respond in the way that men want them to should stay at home. Women who have boundaries need professional help.

Sign me up for distance therapy then while I barricade my doors

Or men stay home instead

Clearly I should stay at home then. Or just carry on challenging this sort of behaviour.

Yuk

No leave it, always best to allow sunlight.
Women who dont respond in the way that men want them to should stay at home. Women who have boundaries need professional help.

Alegrias1

And there we go folks.

Shall I report?

Not worth bothering.

And there we go folks.

Shall I report?

Message for men who are confused

“Don’t cry for me Alegrias1” That would make for a real chart-stopper!

The only “Dolly-birds” I know these days are Gransnet members and they are certainly here for my entertainment.
Equally, I’m here as anyone’s Tom Boy (Grandads excepted, of course!)

On a more serious note’ I believe any lady who can’t differentiate between a lecherous proposition and a flirting, flattering compliment needs to stay at home until she can or arrange home visits by an appropriate counsellor.
Good Luck and Good Health!
OoRoo

Yes, it makes life a lot easier, you walk over those who make stupid and obvious remarks, preferably in hob nail boots, and if there are any others that could, with careful semantic analysis, possibly be interpreted as sexist - well as I said, I have better things to do.

That's nice for you M0nica.

Agree, the sandwich remark would always have been offensively personal, but the personal trainer saying something that suggests that the trainee was reaching the target they wanted to hit. I cannot see the problem.

I have better and more interesting things to do in life than subject every word someone, especially a man, says to me to deep semantic analysis.

Soozikinzi

My sons gf came into our house all flustered and annoyed because a bloke at the petrol station said ‘I hope that sandwich is slimming you wouldn’t want to spoil that lovely figure’ to her when buying a sandwich . And I thought o what a nice compliment! But evidently it wasn’t taken as such ! Shows the difference in the generations! So I did think to myself o lord what can men say these days as OP suggested!

I think that comment is totally inappropriate.

am not sure if you are really thinking it was a nice compliment?? Surely not

it isnt a what can men say, poor things, scenario at all - it wouldnt be ok for anyone of any gender to say that

I can’t imagine the ‘sandwich’ comment would have been acceptable even when I was young, which wasn’t yesterday. If a man said that to either of my dds I’d want to bop him!

Alegrias

Apparently it is very hard to grasp that concept.

As for being seen as a possible perpetrator of horrible crimes against women at every turn so every word and action has to be analysed.

Message for men who are confused: Just don't talk to women as though they are dolly birds there for your entertainment. Try to imagine if you were somebody's dad, would you want some unknown man talking to your daughter or behaving like that?

Is it really so hard?

ClareAB

Lucca

Question, if a male acquaintance says “your hair suits you like that “. Is that ok ?if he says “you’ve lost weight !” Is that ok ?

Why is 'you've lost weight' ok? It is actually super rude. You're either suggesting that someone looks better slimmer or saying how fat you thought they were before.
it could be that someone is losing weight through illness.
I think if people were simply polite and made less judgmental, personal remarks, there would be far less angst about right and wrong. Polite or rude? Personal or private?

I was just asking! Personally I think the hair comment is ok but not the weight one. It’s too personal and body related. By commenting on my hair I don’t t see him as belittling my brain or competence and I would equally feel it ok to say to him I like your shirt or similar, or “you’re looking well”.
As I have spent a lot of time outdoors recently I am quite healthy looking and people have commented that I look well. I am happy to hear it, from either men or women.

I have often felt sorry for men. They won’t ask the way if they are looking for somewhere. They have to win the father’s race on their children’s sport day. They wouldn’t dream of asking someone to see them out of a parking tight spot. If they don’t work it is more of a problem than that of women. When doing other jobs around the house they strive to be seen as capable. Whereas I wouldn’t hesitate to be bothered by any of these situations. Yes, it’s hard being a man. As for being seen as a possible perpetrator of horrible crimes against women at every turn so every word and action has to be analysed.

It is generational to some extent Sago, but my 86 year old DF would never dream of telling a woman in a shop that the sandwich she was buying would make her fat, or that her figure was lovely.

Its more about boundaries. Or just not thinking those things in the first place.