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Hug or not to hug

(56 Posts)
overthehill Sun 09-May-21 10:05:44

One thing the pandemic has freed me from, is having to hug odd people from, friends, neighbours even strangers who happen to be friends of friends.
We can't do it now, but a hand shake was always good enough for me.
Hugging for me is reserved for hubs, children and grandchildren, no one else.

Jaxjacky Sun 09-May-21 11:55:17

I’m with the huggers, our family have always hugged, I hug good friends too. Also having spent a lot of time in France I’m quite comfortable with the kisses (bisous), but if someone indicated they weren’t, I wouldn’t do it.

Lollin Sun 09-May-21 11:35:10

nanna8 I agree the silly elbow touching brings people closer to get to tap each other than has been permitted. Seeing people like Boris, in a hospital of all places, crossing in front of staff to elbow tap someone had me totally confused

greenlady102 Sun 09-May-21 11:33:40

nanna8

I’m a hugger. I love it and I hated that stupid elbow bumping they brought in over the lockdown time. You can’t beat a big hug and kisses on each side of the face. A lot do it here, especially those from continental Europe. You can sense when people don’t want it though and I wouldn’t force it on any of those sort of people.

you may be able to sense that but my experience is that most huggers don't and, worse, cannot imagine or accpt that others really DO NOT want to be hugged and kissed.

Sara1954 Sun 09-May-21 11:21:12

Yes, family only. Nothing is nicer than cuddling my plump little two year old granddaughter, I noticed my sixteen year old grandson was a bit reluctant about the goodbye hug when I saw him a few weeks ago, I shall be sparing him that from now onwards.

Maggiemaybe Sun 09-May-21 11:18:11

I really love a hug from my nearest and dearest - family and good friends. I can’t remember anyone else ever moving in for one, and I wouldn’t want them to!

As regards the sign of peace, our church wardens actually went round asking people individually whether they wanted it. The one who asked me said it was a near-unanimous no. And yet the new vicar liked it, so it went ahead. Years later it still seems like a very uncomfortable break in the service.

nanna8 Sun 09-May-21 11:12:40

I’m a hugger. I love it and I hated that stupid elbow bumping they brought in over the lockdown time. You can’t beat a big hug and kisses on each side of the face. A lot do it here, especially those from continental Europe. You can sense when people don’t want it though and I wouldn’t force it on any of those sort of people.

Chestnut Sun 09-May-21 11:06:49

Hugs are wonderful things when it's family and close friends. I'm not keen to hug anyone else. I don't lean or move forward so they hopefully get the message.

Gwenisgreat1 Sun 09-May-21 11:06:28

You have also echoed my thoughts Calendargirl. However i am delighted to get a hug from my DGS who has Down Syndrome.

Kate1949 Sun 09-May-21 11:01:29

I remember years ago thinking the French, Italians etc were very odd with all their kissing and hugging. Now we're all at it.
Recently I was hugged by a lovely man I know. I left make up all over his very expensive looking jacket. I was mortified. Another reason not to do it.

greenlady102 Sun 09-May-21 10:58:15

Calendargirl

I hate hugging and kissing people I don’t know well. We never used to do it years ago. As a family growing up, we loved each other but were not demonstrative.

One good thing to come out of Covid is I am definitely not going back to the huggy, kissy, mwah mwah way of greeting others. I shall just hold out my hand, when allowed to do so.

yes this absolutely. My worst hug EVER was someone who I barely knew who managed to wipe her armpit over my face when hugging.

ginny Sun 09-May-21 10:57:11

Hugs are lovely with my nearest and dearest friends and family.
Casual friends and acquaintances get a warm smile.
Can’t abide the silly 2 or 3 air kisses.

eazybee Sun 09-May-21 10:53:09

Oh, I so agree.
Hugs are for family; as really close friends we never felt the need to hug each other to express our friendship.

Calendargirl Sun 09-May-21 10:51:27

I hate hugging and kissing people I don’t know well. We never used to do it years ago. As a family growing up, we loved each other but were not demonstrative.

One good thing to come out of Covid is I am definitely not going back to the huggy, kissy, mwah mwah way of greeting others. I shall just hold out my hand, when allowed to do so.

Sara1954 Sun 09-May-21 10:45:43

We’re so awkward about it aren’t we, not sure whether to hug or not, it always feels really forced, arms up at the wrong time, face turned the wrong way.
All so embarrassing.

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 10:43:25

No the trouble with huggers is that they can’t believe that you don’t really, truly want a hug deep down. And that if they give you one you’ll see how enjoyable it is.

Like the friend who said to me “I know you don’t like hugs but I’m going to give you one anyway.”

And did ?

Galaxy Sun 09-May-21 10:40:43

It's interesting isnt it. A lot of us are obviously used to being hugged when we dont want to. That's not great really.

Peasblossom Sun 09-May-21 10:40:43

I might manage a handshake Deeda ?

It’s hard to explain why that physical intrusion into a spiritual experience feels so very wrong to me.

Kate1949 Sun 09-May-21 10:40:43

How I agree with you overthehill. I absolutely hate it, apart from family. I find it cringeworthy. I have never felt the need to hug friends or acquaintances but have found myself going along with it. I was never hugged as a child so maybe that's it. It's great for people who like it but it's not for me.

Gannygangan Sun 09-May-21 10:33:40

I'm not a hugger.

Unless it's my dogs.

nanaK54 Sun 09-May-21 10:32:36

Oh dear, I am the odd one out, I like a hug.

Deedaa Sun 09-May-21 10:32:35

Peasblossom some years ago we were in a little village church in Italy on Easter Sunday. When they all turned to shake hands with their neighbours it was lovely to find ourselves included even if they couldn't talk to us.

I've got a couple of old friends that I hug but as a family we've never hugged and kissed. Obviously the grandsons get hugged all the time - especially the 14 year old because it annoys him!

Lollin Sun 09-May-21 10:31:16

No hug , except for family and close friends who might need a hug at times.
Preferred a handshake and felt hugs had become really meaningless.

Sara1954 Sun 09-May-21 10:28:18

I too agree 100%
I have an elderly neighbor who always tries to kiss me, WHY? I hardly know him, and if I did, I wouldn’t want to be kissed by him.
It’s been very pleasant.

timetogo2016 Sun 09-May-21 10:26:55

I was bought up giving hugs,i do it,my family do it,my friends do it,even the family pets come for a hug and we hug them back,and funnily enough we have all missed it.
Theres no right or wrong,it`s up to the individual.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 09-May-21 10:25:13

I have really missed hugging my close friends, especially if they are upset.