How upset would you be if someone said you were boring!

I think I quite like boring people. They are very relaxing give you time to think about other things .. or perhaps I’ve never met any. My daughter thinks my son, her brother, is boring because he will regale you with his current passion whether football stats or some new technology, and it’s true he never asks you about yours, but I think he’s the bees knees so don’t find him boring. It doesn’t matter how sharp and clever people are whom I dislike... my brother used to find our mum boring which I thought was a bit of a cheek cos he never made an effort to engage her so she would fall back on repetition because she wanted to keep talking to him.

When I was young I shared a caravan with someone. She showed me a letter from a mutual friend but covered part of it up. (I don’t know why she didn’t just read it out to me). Anyway, convinced that the covered up bit referred to me I read it when she was out and it said ‘and does she still irritate you as much’. I know it was my fault for reading it but, as someone that always had a self image/confidence problem I don’t think I ever got over it.

I think some people, as they age, have no new experiences to talk about and perhaps feel ignored or sidelined. They only have their past to talk about as they don't have new experiences. Not all old people are like this - I do realise that.

I don't think I would wish to tell anyone they were boring me.

Oh Nanna58 I so empathise. My eldest grandson, also on the autistic spectrum,(now 20) can talk for England on science, music and religion.

We sat in the garden a couple of weeks ago when he asked if he could come round for a catch-up before he returned to his apprenticeship. We were there for just over 4 hours and I couldn't stop my teeth chattering!

BUT, he has the ability to explain things clearly that I would otherwise not understand. He doesn't talk down to me, and willingly answers all my questions (when I can get a word in!). His Mum and sister find him boring, and often tell him so, his Dad just blatantly nods off!

With him, I don't have a chance to be boring, I seldom say more than half a dozen sentences, but I am certainly not bored.

Perhaps boredom comes when there is so much else to do, and, whilst listening to someone else, we are unable to do it. Just a thought.

I have a friend that often has an interesting or amusing tale to tell but she adds in so many unnecessary details it takes too long to get to the punchline so I do get bored. Like others I also have a friend whose only conversation is about the grandchildren. I try to change the conversation but she always brings it back round again. Still, she has made me try harder to not be boring myself.

grannylyn65

You’re wrong

Who is wrong ?! About what ?!

You’re wrong

I have had that said to me, more than once. My reply is I am not paid to be an entertainer.

If someone has something that they love to talk about, whether it be what they did in the war, or their experiences with such and such, it is far better to find a group where people are happy to talk about the war, their hysterectomy, whatever, sometimes people talk about unresolved issues, but they will not get resolved by talking to the same people again and again. If you have had a bad birth experience, for example, there are listening services, and lots of other supportive people, and by telling the story, and feeling well listened to, you can come to terms with something and only bring it out when relevant
There may be some people who might be persuaded to write their memoirs, if it is a wartime experience, the local historical society might be interested, or the family history society for your area. That way their knowledge is shared and people can read it in years to come. How I wish more people did that

@cupcake1 so sorry to hear about your mil's long illness, my nan had a stroke and couldn't speak but it was only for 3 months until she died, mil had similar but only lasted a couple of weeks

I think eventually I came to the conclusion that even had we managed to properly converse, FIL at least just wasn't interested, and I think the whole family including the granddad, just didn't listen to anything anyone else said, really. Which meant that when grandad said things that upset me no one called him in on it because no one had been listening, I was the only one who had listened. I know later on my then-husband seemed not to know about things that I'd heard clearly
It's a shame because most people have interesting things they could talk about. MIL never got much chance to say anything with FIL around, to be honest, but what she did say once he was out of it didn't paint her in a good light, so perhaps it was for the best

I'm sorry to hear that, wot

I hope all goes well and send very best wishes for a good recovery

Hi, Callistermon! No, I haven't been on GN much but still enjoy reading it everyday.
I've got breast cancer now and lost my dear dog last June so I haven't had anything cheerful to say. I shall be "laid up" after 21st May so might have more to say then as I will be in my lovely bed for a while

Just had a friend round who finds everyone except herself boring. She interrupts, finishes sentences and dismisses ideas and opinions that aren't her own.....now that I find boring.
But I would never tell her so, that would be rude

Hello wot, I haven't seen you posting for ages
?
(I hope it wasn't because we are all boring?)

I have found that I repeat myself a few times lately. Well, not exactly found myself doing it, more that one of my DC says "Yes, you've told us that before".
Am I boring or just forgetful?

Monica, you have never bored me! You talk a lot of sense in an articulate way that I could never aspire to.

Yes. I rather think I would be upset if I were considered boring - but there are worse things to be, I guess! I usually have an opinion about most things, and if anything, I'm perhaps a bit controversial, so perhaps not boring. I enjoy debate, but wait until others begin a conversation or ask my opinion, so I have been told that I'm seen as "stand-offish"!

On the 'broken record scenario' my lovely, sadly now deceased Dad was on the whole, a great conversationalist.

However, whenever we went out for a family meal he'd hold court with wheeling out the same half doz or so tales that he'd told on every previous family meal.

We didnt mind. They became like old friends really, and we always enjoyed Dad's telling tales we'd all heard 000's of times before. He enjoyed himself telling them (yet again) and we always enjoyed that he enjoyed it.

What I'd give to see and hear him telling them again.

I’m boring, too shy and can never think of anything to say. I can end a conversation and even a thread on Gransnet, I do it frequently!

My husband does this.Same old stories again and again,it’s so embarrassing I actively avoid most social occasions , it’s awful to watch others loseing eye contact, he doesn’t even stop when I tell him we have all heard it before.

No-one has ever said it to my face, so I hope I am not boring as I never tend to go on and on about events in my life past or present. I think that perhaps some people find me a bit standoffish as I can be quiet in company until I weigh up what I am doing and who I have in front of me. I know plenty of women who have men that go on and on about things they have done, hobbies, health matters, general one-up-man ship when in company and we all tend to roll our eyes and politely nod.

oodles my deceased MIL was exactly the same. She had no idea what my job entailed and nothing about the family as she was only interested in FIL and herself. She would prattle on for ages talking the most boring and repetitive nonsense and even when DH and I said you’ve told us that many times before she still prattled on regardless! I ended knowing more about her families history than my own and I knew every one of her neighbours business and comings and goings. Whenever we came back from holiday and started telling her about it she would launch into when they went to ‘so and so’ which had no relevance whatsoever. We gave up in the end. Sad really as DH is an only child and she showed little interest in him. I did admire her tenacity though she’s the only person I knew who could talk without taking a breath about mundane rubbish for hours. She succumbed to a stroke in 2012 and although survived for 6 long years it robbed her of her speech and was a very sad end to her life. We can all get carried away at times especially during this pandemic as it’s mostly memories that keeps our spirits up so I’m sure we’ve all been ‘boring’ at some time. Patience is a virtue…….. wish I possessed it ?!

Yes my husband is like this the same old stories again and again, is so embarasing I actively avoid nearly all social interaction. He doesn’t stop even if you say everyone heard this befor?.

has anyone come across 'Contented dementia' by Oliver James - this seems a good way of helping those with dementia, in homes that use the method
Anyway, one of the things that they do is look at what were important things to people that they love to think about. MAybe some people area getting ready for that approach by letting their friends know what things they want to remember if they ever need help for dementia

I think it would depend on who said it.

If it was someone I was close to and whose opinion I respected, some self examination would be in order.

If anyone else said it, I would just shrug it off.

I have a dear friend who knows that ‘sometimes’ she bores me.
Yesterday she was rambling on again about absolutely nothing.
When she drew breath I asked her what she thought about the political situation in Afghanistan at the moment.
She laughed and said i’m boring you, aren’t i yes, I replied, and we both laughed and said goodbye.