harry and megan

Lemsip I was basing it on people I know and people I have spoken to who took drugs,

Anniebach how do you know 'it's unusual for someone to 'taste drugs then wait four years to do it again?

I know nothing of his use of drugs after Afghanistan, I just said he was taking drugs four years before joining the army

Anniebach

Unusual to have a taste of drugs then wait four years before another taste

Who said he waited 4 years? Going back to the comparison with my father I am sure he had been in a pub and had drunk alcohol before the war, I'm certain he did go in pubs and drink alcohol when he was on leave. In the years following the war drink became an issue as he dealt with the memories of horrors he had seen. Not at all unusual.

So maybe Harry had a drink and smoked some substances before military service, maybe he did while he was in the military but obviously limited if you are on active service. If drink and drugs became a big issue after his service in Afghanistan then it is surely possible that the things he saw might have played a part? He has said one of the 3 scariest things in his life was in a helicopter in Afghanistan. Are you saying that it couldn't possible be a factor?

Worriedwell, I agree with you that active service in a war zone by individuals with emotional/psychological problems is unlikely to help.
Drugs and alcohol misuse is a common part of many lives in the UK. The military shares thst

Unusual to have a taste of drugs then wait four years before another taste

Iam64

These threads seem to have some posters reflecting on their own emotional issues or trauma’s.
My view is that trisher is spot on in her comments about Harry and the military. The sense of purpose, companionship, the routines, the shared aims and objectives provided Harry with security and a sense of purpose/belonging. It also provided an environment where avoiding emotional/psychological difficulties by focus on the job in hand, then all getting drunk/using substances, worked well for Harry and many others in the military. I’m not disrespecting these young people. They often share disrupted relationships in childhood.

In the long run do you think that active service in a war zone is a good place for someone with emotional/psychological problems? Maybe in the moment it gives them a focus but afterwards?

Anniebach

Harry visited a drug rehabilitation centre in 2002, he joined the Army 2006.

My dad had probably tasted alcohol before he joined the navy. Doesn't mean that drink didn't become a problem because of what he experienced in the navy.

Harry visited a drug rehabilitation centre in 2002, he joined the Army 2006.

These threads seem to have some posters reflecting on their own emotional issues or trauma’s.
My view is that trisher is spot on in her comments about Harry and the military. The sense of purpose, companionship, the routines, the shared aims and objectives provided Harry with security and a sense of purpose/belonging. It also provided an environment where avoiding emotional/psychological difficulties by focus on the job in hand, then all getting drunk/using substances, worked well for Harry and many others in the military. I’m not disrespecting these young people. They often share disrupted relationships in childhood.

Just as aside, theworriedwell, my father and father in law were both on the North Atlantic convoys in WW2. We still have Dad’s cabin key from the ship that was sunk under him.
The only time they ever talked about how bad it was, was when they were together. They were never offered post-trauma support.
We never heard anything negative and if they suffered, they hid it well.
As you say, many ex-military use drink to help cope with the past. I’m glad there are other things available now.

trisher

theworriedwell

trisher

Gosh_ vicious, manipulative, vindictive, stabbing in the back, twisting the knife, vengeful, malicious, bullying, It's probably just as well none of you hate anyone, goodness knows what you would say about them. Although actually much as I hated Thatcher I wouldn't use such language about her. In fact I can't think of anyone I would use these terms about. Particularly if I didn't know them.
As for "man up" I thought such phrases went out with the ark. Anyway he's done the "man up" thing, he was in the army wasn't he? But like many other men "manning up" didn't do him the world of good.

I thought you said earlier that his military career was good for him? Maybe it was someone else but I was saying they had a duty of care for him and even if he liked it in the long run was it a good thing for him?

I do think some people aren't suited to military service as so many do end up screwed up and socieyt isn't always great at looking after them.

No theworriedwell I said that he said he thought he had found in the army a solution to his problems because it was structured and ordered, but it also gave him the opportunity to drink heavily neither of which were helpful to his mental health. He also said other recruits from broken families or with problems used the army as a temporary escape route just as he did.
I agree they should have offered him some help.

OK, I thought you said something positive about it.

They should have offered him help, possibly not let him join. I know it was what he wanted but sometimes we don't know what is best for us.

I think it was this thread where I mentioned my father being on north atlantic convoys in WW2. He was always really positive about the navy and his time on various ships. It was only late at night when he had been drinking you would hear the other side.

Actually thinking about it I know Harry has blamed his drinking and drug taking on his childhood but of course many ex military people deal with what they've seen by escaping into the bottle.

Namsnanny

Louise? How so Ellianne?

I think Louise is going to be the perfect young lady. She is very much like her mother.
The media will find it difficult to find fault with her, they won't be pleased! In fact I hope she remains very private.
Of course that wasn't possible for Harry at that age, I do appreciate that.

Ellianne

I wondered that, Namsnanny, as RF material will clearly dry up in a couple of years.
Then we can back off! No more comments.
(Though the delightful Louise, son of Edward and Sophie, might give the press a run for their money.)

I know that Edward and Sophie have a son and daughter but surely Louise is the daughter? Or is it a son called Louis?

Why will he/she giving the press a run for their money?

Actually thinking about it is Louise the one who liked carriage driving with grandfather?

Louise? How so Ellianne?

I wondered that, Namsnanny, as RF material will clearly dry up in a couple of years.
Then we can back off! No more comments.
(Though the delightful Louise, son of Edward and Sophie, might give the press a run for their money.)

Realistically, how long does anyone think Harry can trade on his 'awful' background?
Will five years see out?
Will there be other 'secrets' he can resurrect and divulge?
Or will they both have developed a niche for themselves on the world stage big enough to move on?

Getting drunk, taking drugs, going naked in Vegas, playing the fool etc, although not admirable, only harmed Harry himself.

Trashing his family every week in public is harming many people in that family.

Trisher So Harry’s mentally ill now is he? Experiencing trauma like my 3 grandsons, who were all 3 far younger than Harry when they lost their mother, suddenly doesn’t make you mentally ill. It’s a traumatic event that children all over the world suffer everyday. Some of them see their mothers murdered in front of them.

I’m afraid Harry’s making too much of his trauma along with shed loads of money. I don’t see how continually trashing his family on the world stage is helping him cope. Perhaps counting his millions will ease his pain.

It’s not exactly sweetness and light to accuse someone someone with mental health problems of being manipulative is it?

No it isn’t,but the difficulty is that people with mental health conditions often are manipulative. I know this from personal experience. If anyone chooses to look at the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder or some of the other Personality Disorders they will soon realise that manipulative behaviour is very much a symptom of mental health problems. I’m not saying Harry suffers from any of these disorders, just that manipulative behaviour and mental health problems often go hand in hand.

Anniebach

Harry who enjoyed being in the army, who enjoyed shooting,
stalking, fishing , sport, such a change in his life

Lots of people enjoy drink and drugs, enjoying something doesn't mean it is good for you

tickingbird

Oh please trisher give it a rest. It’s so evil to say someone’s manipulative isn’t it. You’re backtracking on yesterday’s posts about your hate. Pity you don’t take such a stance over a man making a living out of trashing his family.

It's not exactly sweetness and light to accuse someone with mental health problems of being manipulative is it?
Not Back tracking I hate Margaret Thatcher plain and simple.
My stance on the man in question is that if you are brought up having to smile for press shots while your mum and dad are at each others throats, know your mum was badly treated, had a distant father but a loving mother who compensated and you lost that mother suddenly when you were too young, you might very well have mental health problems and you might harbour resentment and hit out at the people you think responsible. Not because you are any of the terrible things listed on GN but because you are ill.

Harry who enjoyed being in the army, who enjoyed shooting,
stalking, fishing , sport, such a change in his life

theworriedwell

trisher

Gosh_ vicious, manipulative, vindictive, stabbing in the back, twisting the knife, vengeful, malicious, bullying, It's probably just as well none of you hate anyone, goodness knows what you would say about them. Although actually much as I hated Thatcher I wouldn't use such language about her. In fact I can't think of anyone I would use these terms about. Particularly if I didn't know them.
As for "man up" I thought such phrases went out with the ark. Anyway he's done the "man up" thing, he was in the army wasn't he? But like many other men "manning up" didn't do him the world of good.

I thought you said earlier that his military career was good for him? Maybe it was someone else but I was saying they had a duty of care for him and even if he liked it in the long run was it a good thing for him?

I do think some people aren't suited to military service as so many do end up screwed up and socieyt isn't always great at looking after them.

No theworriedwell I said that he said he thought he had found in the army a solution to his problems because it was structured and ordered, but it also gave him the opportunity to drink heavily neither of which were helpful to his mental health. He also said other recruits from broken families or with problems used the army as a temporary escape route just as he did.
I agree they should have offered him some help.

I said that Harry himself said that enjoyed his military career. He always seemed happy and enthusiastic and was by all reports very disappointed when he had to leave Afghanistan. Harry from a small boy loved all things military, particularly the army, (photos bear this out)