A little miracle of the modern age!

You can either better a young persons life, as you are, or leave her to sink or swim without your help.

I know which I would rather do, however, don’t go too mad with sending money, or you might possibly alienate her from her family/friends.

It’s wonderful that you have sponsored this young lady for 18 years and I’m sure you did the right thing by sending money for new phone, so that you can keep in contact.
If she was asking for money, that would be a different thing.
I hope you keep in contact for many years to come.

Yes you did the right thing. Good for you and I hope things work out for her.

Thank you for reading and your reassurance!

I think you did a lovely thing there B9. It’s good to share our good fortune with others. Plus you were the beneficiary too as you’d been worrying why you’d not heard from ‘your girl’. Now you’re back in touch. Wonderful.
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B9exchange. You are a lovely person and most certainly did the right thing. I am sure your mind is at peace. The young lady is so fortunate to have you in her life.

What a happy story! You certainly did the right thing, and credit to the young woman who did not immediately turn to you for money to replace her phone, she obviously respects what you do for her.

Yes it was a lovely thing to do you must be like her fairy godmother

I am not so sure about that, she got a bit of a telling off for leaving me in the dark, and did apologise! I can't imagine what it must be like for those of you with children in far off countries when they get into trouble.

Definitely done the right thing B9Exchange

Gosh....I am going to get shot down in flames here. I have sponsored a young person for many years but I would not dream of getting in touch or of going to visit. The money that I might spend on a visit could be better spent on sponsoring several other young people. I find the idea of being thought of as her "second mum" slightly disturbing.

We have a history of doing "good" in poorer nations and often our involvement has resulted in problems for what is a completely different culture. India, Israel, Africa etc. etc.

I accept that others will feel differently about this and that the most important thing is that these communities are helped. I am sure that the input of new technology items will be helpful to her.

However, my view on it is that the workers on the ground know the communities best and can make the best judgement on how my financial contribution should be targeted.

I am very squeamish indeed about the idea of paternalism.

I shall probably get drummed off Gransnet now!

I accept the good intentions here, but differ about the method of implementing those.

I think everyone's sponsorship arrangements are unique to them. With some schemes, you effectively sponsor a village and don't develop any personal relationship with the one you are technically sponsoring. That is the right approach for some, or you can just give to Water Aid or something like that. But for me, learning about how she lives, the difficulties she has faced with the family, being there for her at critical times has meant a lot to both of us and built a better understanding of each other. The problem with sponsorship is that at some point, usually at the end of secondary education, the sponsorship ends and the student can be left high and dry to fend for themselves. Some do okay, but others fall back without the feeling that someone still cares for them.

When I first went out there, it was part of an educational programme for a group of us to understand how our sponsored children live. We experienced the slums which were an incredible eye opener and it really brings home to you what true poverty means in a way that no news programme ever could. Often we were brought to tears by the things that we saw. At the end of the week we met the children we had been writing to for years, and it was very emotional.

When the children are coming to the end of their sponsorship, they are asked if they would like to continue contact or not, it is entirely their decision, and my girl said she would. DH and I had always wanted to go on safari, so as we would be in Kenya anyway, it seemed sensible to see her again then at the end of her sponsorship, which the sponsorship organisation arranged for us. It was at that point that I was able to take her the phone. Naturally the sponsorship organisation checked it over first to make sure there wasn't anything dodgy on it! All safeguarding carefully done, but then we could exchange messages from then on. She no longer has any contact with the organisation, they have moved on to supporting others. There was one occasion when the family went down with malaria, and thanks to my contact out there, I was able to pay the few pounds for their medical treatment and get them some mosquito nets. My dream is to encourage her to earn enough to get into college, and really make a go of her life.

It reminds me of the story of the starfishes, remember that one? The man walking along the beach sees many thousands of stranded starfishes shrivelling up on the sun. Then he sees a little boy throwing a few of them back into the sea, one by one. He says to the boy 'what are you doing, there are many thousands here, you can't possibly make a difference'. The boy slowly bends down, picks up another starfish and hurls it as far as he can into the sea. 'It made a difference to that one' he said.

B9Exchange I have an AC living in Kenya, and I totally agree with your last post.

We as a family send support in the way of clothes, paper, pencils etc to a local pastor who knows who is in need, along with financial gifts from AC who is over there.

GG13 isn't it amazing how the local pastors, or bishop in our area, know exactly what is going on and who is in need. One of them took a couple of us out to see a 'school' for disabled children. It was just like a cattle shed, with children dumped there so their parents could go to work. The one member of staff was slumped against a wall in tears as she didn't even have any water to give the children, let alone food, books etc. One of our group went on a furious fundraising effort when she got back, and managed to get a rainwater collection system installed for them.

About 20 years ago my youngest did a years voluntary work in Zimbabwe I gained a number of kids (teens) to sponsor they gradually dropped off all but one he stayed with me and I helped him with small help... school fees. college fees. exam fees etc etc, a toilet (sounds mad but the first proper toilet for his mum and dad ) Well he’s now a man of 38 with a beautiful wife and a little baby He has done so well he has his own business with quite a lot of employees he owns cars and a bus for his employees he looks after them so well he has set his mum and dad up with a little village shop (not a shop as we know it) He has nursed them all through covered (15 family members only one died and he has now taken her 3 year old on as his own)
I am very proud of him we ve never met but he tells me I m his second mum and he gives me far more credit than I deserve saying he wouldn’t be where he is but he’s very clever and hard working and deserves all he has got

What a heartwarming story of the young man you helped BlueBelle.
I'm quite sure that the help you gave him was instrumental in where he is today.
That song keeps coming into my head, "If you can help somebody......then your living will not be in vain".

We stayed at a tea estate in Darjeeling where they run a sponsorship programme for some of the local children. We sponsor a girl who is the youngest of 4 daughters and whose parents just couldn’t afford her school fees. We visited her school the following year, taking with us lots of pencils and bits and bobs and she had a great time parading us in front of her friends! On the other hand another guest at the estate insisted on visiting the school to inspect the children and decide which one was worthy of his munificence. I could have strangled him, especially as he was obviously someone who could afford to sponsor half the school. Four years on we are now paying her fees at senior school - nothing like they would be in the UK, I hasten to add!- with regular updates and school reports, which we hope will continue to university.