Are you having the life you envisaged?

How can anyone ever have expectations or plans? Life is so random. For me it's about diving under the breakers and coming up the other side and keep swimming! I've faced some real challenges and lessons in my life, made good choices and bad ones, survived the lows and embraced the highs. I have much to be grateful for.

to those who struggle.

Not at all.
My H and I came from slightly dysfunctional families, not awful but not brilliant.
Our wish was for a perfect family ,two children, both happy and settled.
What fools we were.
Both AC have broken marriages and extremely dysfunctional families.
So just getting on with it.
It is as it is.

I never really had a plan and I've learned that 'the best laid plans' etc often go awry due to circumstances which are unforeseen.
I never expected to find a nice man to marry (when you consider the dross out there) or to be widowed in my mid-50s or to learn to drive. I muddle along as do many others.

When in my teens I wanted a career which allowed me independence and marriage didn't come into it. My best friend wanted to be a mother and housewife. We both got the opposite!
I think I have been very lucky.

I think my younger self would have been very pleased with knowing where I have ended up in my 70's but she never really thought about getting old. I have a huge amount to be grateful for and I am, however, I never expected to have worries over a child and I do. I'd happily give up something of my own to secure a happy future for her but life's not like that sadly.

I don't know as I'm not really a planner.

Well in a word 'no' but it's not all bad.

Never envisaged being estranged by either of our son's and to have had this happen with the youngest who we were so close too, has been a huge shock and an emotional mountain to climb.

Never envisaged having GC that we'd never be allowed to see, them being our only GC.

Never envisaged that 8 years on we'd have the happiness and peace in our lives that we have now and that, because of our estrangement we would move, which we did 4.5 years ago to the most amazing new home, which is the best we've ever had.

Never envisaged that there could be a life, a good life after estrangement but there is, and I hope that everyone who has to live it finds that out too.

On balance I am grateful that much of my life has been good. I didn't really have a life plan, most of it just happened when I was busy making plans to quote the late John Lennon. I worked up in London for over ten years back in the 70s and 80s when jobs were plentiful and opportunities to progress within a company without a degree wasn't unusual, albeit in a sexist climate at times.

I didn't go into my first marriage with the expectation that it wouldn't last and my getting a divorce appalled my very catholic father, who I didn't really get on with anyway, less so with my mother who I did have a good relationship with and who managed to accept that, albeit with regret but moved on from it.

My first husband wasn't a bad person, we just kind of drifted apart, I was as much to blame as he was, we were very young when we married. I've been very happy in my second marriage, together for 37 years now. I'm quite glad I had my twenties to myself I feel I'd lived a little at least before having my first child at 32. Two sons and two grandchildren. My eldest has been damn hard work and has had to have a lot of financial and emotional support. He was an awful teenager who rushed into parenthood in his early 20s way too early, on the rebound from a long relationship, smitten by a very pretty girl who he should have dated for about a couple of months and moved on. Their relationship was volatile and their split inevitable. However, I'm glad to say that over the years, in spite of having a shaky start, I have managed to forge a good relationship with her and touch wood she has never denied us time with the children and actively encouraged it pre lockdown. My younger son has been a piece of cake in comparison to his brother. I am also lucky in that I have good and close relationships with my husband's family from his first marriage. Sadly one of his children died a while back. I am very close to my step daughter and she is very good to my children, her half siblings as well as to me. Wonderful step daughter in law and step grandchildren too!

I always wanted to travel, I have been lucky in that, as well as Europe we have been umpteen times to America, both east and west coasts, Mexico, Argentina, Brazil, Uruguay, Australia, Singapore, Israel. I feel blessed to have seen so many countries on my wish list.

I think I've had a much better life than my parents, who like many of their generation, their early young adulthood blighted by the war. Growing up, although my parents were able to buy our various houses we grew up in, I remember money being tight until my mother went back out to work, first part time and then I think full time when we were in primary school, we were latch key kids but that wasn't unusual, no after school clubs in those days from what I remember. I was a stay at home mum until my youngest went to school and then I went back to work for my husband part time and was able to be at home for the school holidays.

I try not to take what I have for granted, nice home, wonderful husband. As the years roll by I often ponder on the fact that he is over ten years older than me, so the inevitability of being a widow is on my mind particularly when I read the bereavement posts on here and can only imagine what the pain of losing your soulmate is like.

I never had any particular plans except that I knew I wanted a family. Have three lovely DDs and their families who we see regularly.
Have had ups and downs, very sad times, worrying times and very happy times.
After a happy but not at all well off childhood, financially I think I have more than I imagined I would.
In general I would say I have been happy with my life.

True Katie49.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger depending on how many knocks you have and how many times you have to get up off the floor.

I've had a good life only marred by a difficult marriage but having enough money brought it's compensations.
Now, in retirement I'm content. Have enough funds to live carefully but comfortably & pay bills without hesitation. A lovely partner (my husband passed away). Life has been reasonably good to me and I've always gone with the flow. No serious health concerns apart from creaky bones. I count my blessings & give thanks every night in my prayers.

Eventually, but never envisaged being hampered by ill health in later years, but I suppose you don’t think of that when you are young.

I think once you get to our ages (most of us on here) life has dealt you one or two hard knocks along the way. Ours was financial. We were devastated. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger so they say. We regrouped and healed in time.

Now? Life is good. We count our blessings every day because, pretty much, health is more important than wealth. When we chink glasses enjoying a drink we always say ‘Life’s Good’. Because it is.

No. Absolutely not. I never imagined that I'd be so alone in old age. Having said that, I do count my blessings. I am lucky in many ways.

I was brought with hardworking parents they always struggled with money and had lots of children. I was quite shy but I dreamt of going to college and not just working to get the money in. In our house there was no place to have ambition we were told get a job get married have kids.
I did work in a variety of jobs some I hated others I liked. I married my long time boyfriend at nearly 27. Still worked saved for a house had my son then my daughter in my thirties. Divorced because my life was living hell my husband was a selfish destructive abusive man.
I did catering to earn money and went back to college and university to gain a good education. To prove I could do it and was denied the option when I was growing up. I went to work casual hours for an old friend who worked in his family business. I had not seen him for years we started courting and married and I ran the business with for over twenty years.
We have been very happy my DC both did well and successful in their education and working life. I was determined to encourage them. They have their own families and are happy. I have health issues but that’s life we all do don’t we. I don’t have regrets because you learn from life I think it makes you a better person.

My life is pretty much as I expected. It was better before Covid but I'm hopeful it'll return to where it was after restrictions lift and I have my hip replacement. Mind you - I think I was born to retire!

Here is another positive story, you never know what’s round the corner. Divorced 2 yrs ago expecting a pretty lonely solo life, 6 months later met OH, really nice guy - widower, so I took a big risk and moved in. In my wildest dreams I would not have imagined such a lovely relationship.

So sorry for those that are disappointed

I never had a plan as such and feel as though I have had a life of two halves. All went well until I took early retirement and shortly after went from super fit to fit for nothing. I spend every waking moment in constant pain and pretty restricted with movement. Of course no one sees a future in a wheelchair and in pain but I just get on with it and I'm still happy enough.

Never envisaged what would happen in the future.

Nope. I used to plan but events showed me life can turn on a sixpence so I go with the flow now. Although... divorce taught me to always have a plan b when in a relationship. I’ll never be caught out like that again. Radar is never really off now.

No, but as others have said it is what it is, just have to soldier on. Don't think many have lives without problems.

I'm sad about some responses as well, life is not always kind is it.
I have been lucky, enjoyed my working life in the main. Personal life was troubled at times but I have a great family. At 60 I remarried, moved to rural France and live a happy life with my husband and our animals. None of this was in my grand plan, I do count myself fortunate.

A big fat NO from me.

No, but I think few people would be.