Should we tell our granddaughter when our dog is to be PTS?

I'm so sorry about your little dog...it's utterly heartbreaking.
I grew up with dogs and like your granddaughter, was mature for my age. When I was around 10, our eldest dog was losing the quality of his life and my lovely Dad had to make the decision to 'end things' for him...I adored him (he was a huge German Shepherd and my shadow!). I can still remember my Dad sitting with me and explaining what was wrong with him and what was going to happen and I absolutely believe it was the right thing to do....my Dad asked if I wanted to be with him and I did.
The Vet we had was so kind, he told me to cuddle Major and talk to him and explained that I was giving 'my dog' the last act of love.
Yes, I cried afterwards but learnt so much that day...about love and trust.
Do whatever is right for you all.

I'm so sorry, it is so hard to lose a much loved pet .

I think that by trying to be kind to your gd you are really drawing this out though. I understand that the dog is in no pain, but the vet has said she should be put to sleep.

We try our hardest to protect our loved ones but we cannot know if our actions will be helpful or harmful, so I would really try not to overthink this.

I hope your gd is ok in time

I agree about not saying the dog had gone to sleep. I remember reading years ago that it could make a child scared to go to sleep and one of mine suffered from really bad night terrors.

Doodledog

Sorry to repeat a lot of your post, worriedwell. I typed half of mine then the phone rang, and I came back to it half written.

No worries, if it's worth saying it's worth saying twice.

So sad to hear about your precious Lottie , you have made the decision and I am sure it is the correct one. As for your 11 year old grandchild I feel she is old enough to be told in the most gentle way exactly what is going to happen and when . If she were younger it would probably be best to tell her Lottie had died in her sleep. At 11 she is capable of understanding and will appreciate being told the truth. Please don't fill her head with ideas of doggy heaven or other fanciful stories, I feel sure she will not appreciate that! You are having a very tough time , thinking if you.

Sorry to repeat a lot of your post, worriedwell. I typed half of mine then the phone rang, and I came back to it half written.

I think you will have to tell your granddaughter, but I'm not sure that I would use the words 'put to sleep'. That might make her scared of going to sleep herself, or of letting other, maybe older or ill people go to sleep either.

If your family is religious you could tell her that he's gone to Heaven, or if not, just that he was very sick and has died. I'm not sure that I would tell her in advance and give her something to worry about - wait until it is over, and tell her what happened, would be my advice.

I'm sorry for your loss, Luckylegs. Losing a pet is very hard. x

When my children were about 7 and 9 our dog was very ill. She was old having been in the family long before the children were born, she was there for their entire lives. The vet said the time was coming and one night she took a turn for the worse. I phoned the vet, it was about 11 pm. The vet to meet us at the surgery but she insisted we get the children up and let them say goodbye. She was very experienced, probably in her 50s and she said they would rightly never trust me again if they woke up the next morning and she was gone. She also said don't say she was put to sleep as children can become scared of sleep if they think it means you are gone forever.

I wasn't sure but took her advice and yes we had tears that night but they actually took it well.

It is hard so good luck.

“Your” little dog - not our !

Luckylegs

As I keep repeating, Lottie is NOT IN ANY PAIN!

I am sure you would not let by our little dog suffer but if she cannot toilet independently she will be aware of that.from my experience most dogs are quite fastidious, and it always broke my heart when a dog became incontinent . But I imagine you have that under control.
Vets always say that when it is down to age or infirmity you can often tell by the look in a dog’s response when it has had enough - you will know what I mean. Good luck

Even if lottie is not in pain, she is clearly hanging on by a thread, for a long time.

She cannot even do her business by herself! Such a basic need and she is not able to do so herself.

I am a pet mom myself and I have had to make that hard decision myself.
My pet's needs came before my own wants and feelings.

You are putting your feelings first. That's selfish. Poor lottie

You mean you have an appointment next Saturday, June 6/12?

Please please please, stop putting your gd first.
Your dog needs you more.
Your gd will understand.

Your gd may not realize how unfair it is to keep the dog in this condition for an extra week.
You should know better - give your dog some peace today.

As I keep repeating, Lottie is NOT IN ANY PAIN!

GD does understand, the subject has been discussed many times. She told me she was upset this morning and wanted to know when the vet will ring and give us an appointment. Obviously we already have an appointment next Saturday. I’ll talk to my D tomorrow and see what she thinks should happen now. GD obviously realises that we can’t go on like this for Lottie’s sake. It’s such a shame because we all would just like her to not wake up one day naturally but I think we’ve waited long enough now.

Thanks MawB for the tale of the Rainbow Bridge. I don’t know if it’s too fanciful for our very pragmatic but loving GD.

I agree with Gwyneth.

Think of your dog first, who is in a terrible position. Your dog is in pain, this is no quality of life for a while now.
Your gd, if she loves the dog so much, will understand it was for the dog's best interest.

She sounds like she is mature enough to know. I have never shielded my children from their dogs being PTS and one of them wanted to come to the vets with me the last time this happened. It is incredibly sad but I used to say to mine that it is the kindest thing you can do as an owner and you have responsibility to be with them at the end as they are there for us all the time. You just have to gauge what is appropriate but I think you did the right thing putting it off and speaking to her first

Gwyneth

From your post it sounds as if your poor dog is really suffering and clearly has no quality of life. Your vet has advised you that your dog should be ‘put to sleep’. I feel that you should now put the needs of your dog first rather than prolong it’s misery.

this absolutely. Dogs wellbeing comes first. Provided you tell the child gently I don't think before or after matters. In many cases people have had no choice about when children are told.

We had to have our kitten put down the week after our cat crazy 4 yr old DGD had met her. We told her the kitten had died because she was ill and couldn't walk any more (it was some kind of brain virus). Didn't mention vet's part in this.
She asked sensible questions about death.

Definitely tell your granddaughter what ever age she is obviously tell her in terms that are age related but if an animal just disappears or isn’t talked about honestly how can a child ever learn to manage their feelings, these are life lessons that prepare them for bereavement which no one escapes at some point
A different thing but when my grandkids Daddy died they were 4 and 6 and on the advice of child bereavement they kissed their daddy goodbye and went to his funeral we were told if they don’t have those final moments they are forever wondering if he ll come back if he’s ok etc etc and the same for the animal She will of course be upset but being upset and getting over it is what makes for stable mental health

I think you are perfectly entitled to put the onus on the vet as the medical professional Luckylegs . Children will believe what a doctor says and if there is any anger after the dog has gone, it is better if it not directed at you for having taken the decision.
Sadly vets usually put the ball in our court. When I had to make the decision for Hattie I asked my vet not what I should do, but in all honesty what she would do because even if it is the case that sometimes something can be done (like with Noel Fitzpatrick’s Border Terrier) I do not believe it necessarily should be done if you see what I mean.
Sentimental, but then when it comes to my dogs I am that person.
The story of the Rainbow Bridge tells of a lush green meadow just "this side of Heaven" (i.e. before one enters into it). Rainbow Bridge is the name of both the meadow and what links it to Heaven

According to the story, when a pet dies, it goes to the meadow, restored to perfect health and free of any injuries. The pet runs and plays all day with the others; there is always fresh food and water, and the sun is always shining. However, it is said that while the pet is at peace and happy, they also miss their owner whom they left behind on Earth.

When their owner dies, they too arrive at the meadow, and that is when the pet stops playing, turns, sniffs at the air and looks into the distance where they see their beloved owner. Excited, they run as fast as they can, until owner and pet are once more in union. The pet licks its owners in joy while the human looks into the soft eyes of their pet—who might have been absent on Earth, but never absent in their heart. Then side by side, they cross the Rainbow Bridge together into Heaven, never again to be separated.

Mature 11 year Old.
You know her, and it sounds as though you consider her mature enough to cope with the truth.
So follow your instinct and let her have her goodbyes. Will you have and ashes (or a body) to bring home for a burial - I have found that usually helps children and she can put flowers on a special place and have a little cry.
Bless you all.

Having been in your situation many times over the years I know how hard this is for you too Luckylegs x
When I knew I had to make the decision it was time to have our boy PTS, I began explaining to both, young, GDs, at that time, Bobby wasn’t too well and very old now. A few days later I explained he was very unwell now and he may feel he wants to go to sleep and not waken up again. When I had Bobby PTS, I told our GDs, Bobby had made his decision which they accepted as we mopped up the tears and said how much we would miss him. I hope all goes well whatever you decide to explain you your GD. ?

I’ll be thinking of you next Saturday.

I agree with Maw . A white lie really that the dear friend died naturally in her sleep. Of course depends on your granddaughter’s age too.

No, sorry, the dog isn’t suffering, she’s not in pain, it’s just that she can’t walk! The vet said if we could chop her head off and put it on another dog, it would be fine. I’m so annoyed, these dogs are renowned for these problems but the people we bought her off must have known that and still bred from her four times so that whole line has this or will have. Dreadful people!