Advice on Memorial events

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

He's probably organizing it as a celebration of their life rather than as a wake. Best to ask him.

For summer funerals and memorial services I opt for dark summer dress or two-piece and brighten with scarf or jewellery.
In the summer you can get away with muted summer dress and a dark jacket/blazer.
Many years ago I purchased a short- sleeved navy jacket and skirt (which I can alternate with trousers) and it still functions as memorial/funeral wear.

What a great idea, wear something summery if the weather is good and take a cardigan for if it is chilly or later into the evening and enjoy the whole experience.

Ask the person that invited you or maybe if there is anyone else that you know that is going and ask what they are wearing ?
I don't think that wearing full mourning would be appropriate - it basically is a chance for people that knew the deceased to get together and share their memories of that person with others and especially the close family.
A garden party to means wearing something summery but maybe not to bright. The main thing is the get together, not the clothing!

We have set a theme for my late FIL funeral. We have stated casual,colourful, bright clothing, no black or somber suits and ties.
The intention is to hold a garden party to celebrate his life but with family travelling from Europe we won't be having the event until everyone can travelling with no quarantine required.

Hello again everyone. I’m so lucky my question popped up in the daily threads! Thank you all again for your input. Definitely feel it’s going to be a celebration rather than anything sombre so we will both opt for outfits in shades of blue we think-I’m going with an aqua coloured dress, a happy summery colour but not garish

My friends father had a memorial garden lunch in a barn, he donated his body to science.No dark colours photos all around, lots of reminiscing and laughter.lt was a wonderful afternoon and reflected a life of love and laughter.

I am going to one of these events in 2 weeks.
I will wear ordinary summer clothes as I would do if just visiting.
I expect it to be a happy day.

I would say it you know her favourite colour try to incorporate that in your outfit, but navy or grey are always an easy colour to wear. Clothes that you like and feel good will make you feel comfortable , you may have bought something for a wedding in the past that you can wear? I would not buy new unless you really want to.

I would wear a muted and gentle colour probably injected by a flash of a something coordinated but bright by way of a scarf or necker. Do you perhaps know your acquaintance's favourite colour?

I agree, ask your friends husband if you're unsure, but sounds like a lovely summery dress would be the idea (weather permitting).
I attended the funeral of a really good friend a few years ago. She left instructions for us to wear bright colours. The church was full of colours, so beautiful.
She had a white cardboard coffin. She left instructions for us to write her a message ?
It was such a lovely thought.

Legs55

I have no experience of a celebration garden party but a couple of years ago I attended a friend's Cremation, the instruction was "bright clothing", she loved colour. Every-one wore bright colours & I've never seen such a display of Hawaiian shirts in one place, a most joyous send off.

I would choose a nice summer dress, I love colour but go with what you are comfortable with

we did this for my Mother on her instructions. The coffin was hand made wickerwork and the hearse was bright shocking pink. Everyone wore their brightest winter clothes. The men who chose to wear suits work jazzy ties.

Feel your anxiety here. We are attending funeral on Friday for my husbands brother in law. When he asked his sister about clothing, she replied that her daughter is insisting on wearing black herself but it wasn’t expected from everyone! Mixed messages here, although I wouldn’t have worn all black, it has made me nervous about “how much colour”. Now madly looking for a navy/white dress…or maybe black trousers and a subdued top……
Note to self……remind all of my family to wear whatever they feel comfortable in, and preferably bright!

If you don't feel you can phone and ask your friend's husband what he thinks, or realise that like most men he has no idea about the implications of clothes, I think you should wear whatever fits your own criterion of smart and respectful.

If you have anything in your wardrobe that your friend admired at any time, you could wear that perhaps - obviously not if it was a swim-suit, but you know what I mean.

I have no experience of a celebration garden party but a couple of years ago I attended a friend's Cremation, the instruction was "bright clothing", she loved colour. Every-one wore bright colours & I've never seen such a display of Hawaiian shirts in one place, a most joyous send off.

I would choose a nice summer dress, I love colour but go with what you are comfortable with

We had similar event after my husband's death. We called it a memorial reception but as I explained in my speech, it was actually a memorial cocktail party because that's what he really enjoyed. People tended to dress in dark colours but not black.

I agree with MawB.

When my mum died, she had left strict instructions no one should accompany her to the crem, but there should be a service of remembrance to celebrate her life, followed by a garden party with a jazz band and string quartet with dancing. It was April so we spent most of the time in the marquee's for warmth. Most people wore discreet colours with a dash of colour to add brightness, but only wore black if they particularly wanted to.

We had memorial services in the church for both mum and dad separately, 18 months after Dad died, and 6 months after mum, with a burial of ashes. There were lots of flowers and memories read.
We held a garden party afterwards and gave a buffet for my cousins and relatives. I asked them to wear smart casual, as we had already held small funerals during lock down. My dad loved bright colours, so I wore a red summer dress and jacket. It was a celebration rather than a funeral.

I too would wear a lovely summer dress. It's a lovely idea to have a garden party in her memory.

There is no tradition of 'garden party memorial events' to worry about. Just be smart and comfortable.

Sorry I meant Nannarose, my apologies…

Thank you all for your advice and experiences. I think I’ll be opting for a nice dress that works with the weather that day, not dreary in colour but not too gaudy either….Grannyrose I liked the instructions ‘wear what you would to be with X’, and especially your choice!!

I would ask, and if you don't feel able to go, then no mourning but not gaudy.
We asked for folk to wear bright colours for my mum, who loved them.
My favourite funeral direction was 'come dressed as if you were spending time with X'. Folk came in walking gear, surf shorts, and I wore my pinny as I had cooked for him often!