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Growing up without going to shops

(83 Posts)
maydonoz Sun 20-Jun-21 09:38:33

This is not a criticism, merely a comment, observation on the younger generation. I notice my DS and DIL have pretty much all shopping delivered to their home, this is not new, maybe over the past five years. This includes food, clothes and anything else you can think of. It suits their lifestyle, my DIL says she doesn't have time for shopping and finds home deliveries more convenient. This is a fair comment and obviously her decision.
However on a few occasions, DH and I have taken our DGC to the shops and they were so excited and enjoyed it so much, we're left thinking they are missing out on the fun of choosing the shopping, paying at the till and just generally the whole experience.
Maybe I'm just being old-fashioned and wondered if other GNs share my views.

Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 13:35:50

Families have changed. Times have changed.

Now going to stores means - of course during business hours, which may not be the most convenient
- get everybody ready
- load them in car or bus or method of transportation
- find parking and park car
- go to store and find your items
- pay
- go to car/bus
-hoping there is no traffic

... you get the idea - what may take 30 min online takes 2 hours in real life

Yes, I pick online if I can do it at 11 pm and spend those 2-3 hours cooking dinner, playing with my kids, relaxing as a family, etc.

Time is money
Convenience is also a very important factor, in the busy world that parents with kids live in

Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 13:27:27

Lizzy

Money management can be learned anywhere, not only going to shops.

You dont need to have physical money on your hands to understand the value of items and budgeting.

Math still exists - I tell my kids they only have $x to spend so please look at the prices of what they want to buy.
If it is more expensive than the money they have, they have to save more and come back to buy it or pick something cheaper or choose to save it to pick something bigger.

"how on earth do your grandchildren get properly fitted with new shoes"

Very easy and uncomplicated.
Websites have sizing charts, you measure the person's feet and you see what size is the best.
If you are between sizes, pick the bigger one or order two in doubt and return one

Alioop Mon 21-Jun-21 13:26:28

I like an odd morning going to the shops. When I was a kid I looked forward to a shopping trip with my mum, pocket money in my little purse, all excited to look around Woolworths.
I see lovely clothes or shoes, send for them and they look nothing like they did on my screen so sometimes it's better to see it in the shop. Only problem is then that I buy far more when I'm browsing in the shops.

icanhandthemback Mon 21-Jun-21 13:17:54

In years gone by, no doubt grandparents watched in horror as their younger folk started to go to the supermarkets rather than interacting with the green grocers, the butchers, etc. Things change and so do the experiences of our grandchildren.

lizzypopbottle Mon 21-Jun-21 13:17:19

Quite apart from the immersive experience of shopping, (how on earth do your grandchildren get properly fitted with new shoes, maydonoz?), children are missing out on understanding of money and how it works. They never see or handle it! They never see it given in exchange for goods!

Anyone who has tried to teach young children about money will know how difficult it is. As for handing it over and expecting to get change....that's a non starter. You could give them a £20 note for an ice cream and they'd come skipping back from the van with their ice cream i.e. no change! I've set up so many classroom shops and observed children handling 'money'. Understanding of money ought to begin at home. (Not to mention toilet training, hand washing, shoelace tying, speaking in sentences etc.) No wonder so many younger people are in debt when there's no connection between the plastic cards and actually having money. I never used to understand the saying, 'You can't have your cake and eat it!' but I would've understood, 'You can't spend your money and still have it!' Of course, ever increasing credit limits mean you can...up to a point when the bailiffs come knocking on your door!

Yes, I'm a retired Key Stage 1 teacher. Did you guess? ??

ALANaV Mon 21-Jun-21 13:09:53

[smile !] have to laugh at this post ....a few years back my daughter wrote a small book after my grandson apparently asked her 'Mummy, what is a shop ?' .....quite appropriate now I think ! I have never read it, as she hasnt spoken to me for years and I have never seen said grandson ....but I found her now mother in law from a lot of searching, and she has put the book on her FB page ...I also found it on Amazon ...never ordered one though !! I LOVE shopping ...have to stop myself going as I have far too much 'stuff' ! I now go for long walks to keep me away from the shops !!!! grin

Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 12:59:36

Shops are not going anywhere, they just change how they do business
Especially after covid, at least on the US, curbside pickups, drive through, shop online and pick up - are here to stay

I dont see costco disappearing, for example.

Life changes with the decades, it is all reinvented to adapt to the new habits and society rules.

inishowen Mon 21-Jun-21 12:31:11

I was playing shop with my grandson and he was looking for somewhere to scan his card!

Witzend Mon 21-Jun-21 12:29:16

I’d look on it as a bit of a bonus if your Gdcs find it exciting to go to the shops, maydonoz - a relatively cheap ‘treat’, even if you end up buying them a little something.

Our Gdcs of 6 and nearly 5 love going on a bus - especially the top front seats - they so rarely use buses at home. And if they can choose a little present, that’s the icing on top.

Lupin Mon 21-Jun-21 12:28:58

Lifestyles are different now and in the main I've adopted a lot of current practice. I shop on line - groceries, clothes, household items. I use my card mostly and just keep £20 in my purse for the odd cash purchase. I embrace the self service tills. I accept that my grandchildren have their own experience of life. They don't like being hauled round shops either, unless it's a toy shop of course.
My mum shopped daily for food and I remember being hauled around the shops and hating it, getting into trouble for hiding in the racks of clothes and picking up and touching things - being so bored. Give me modern shopping habits and next day, or even same day deliveries. I sometimes order my groceries from Morrisons, via Amazon. I order in the morning and I get it late afternoon or early next day.
It's a shame if high streets cannot adapt and are entirely lost. Some are becoming more like social centres with smaller, interesting, unique shops and regular themed street markets.
There is nothing better, for me, than browsing in a book shop or library. I hope there is room in modern life for them.

Perdido Mon 21-Jun-21 12:24:19

I realised I was getting old when I decided to bake a cake for a local fare and went into a Pound shop to buy doilies. Not finding them I found a young assistant who asked: What's a doiley? Our local Hobbycraft no longer kept them in the cake-making section but in with the children's art supplies.

As children of divorced parents, our mum worked. My brother and I, still primary age and latchkey, were sent to the shops with a list and cash to buy groceries: tea and sugar from the grocer, fruit and veg from the greengrocer, bread from the baker, broken biscuits from Woolworths. Milk and eggs were delivered as were clothes from the tallyman! And R White's Lemonade. Takeaway on Fridays from the fish and chip shop when mum had her wages.

Nannan2 Mon 21-Jun-21 12:22:28

Yes my GC have asked me "how it was back then" and im only 57!?

Mollygo Mon 21-Jun-21 12:20:42

Good post, Bluebelle.
Many children think it’s ‘exciting’ to go on a bus or a train, whereas cars and planes are common place for some.
Seeing parents handling money and coping with it themselves is another change from when we were young.
Things change continually.
Wait till you’re asked to go into your DGC’s school and talk about how things were in the olden days!

Nannan2 Mon 21-Jun-21 12:20:42

It seems its what theyre growing up with, more so since covid19, but even about 5 yrs ago when we set off somewhere one of my GD who was coming too asked "have you got your plastic Grandma?" as we all got in the car.So long as i had my debit card she was happy.No mention of actual cash?

Riggie Mon 21-Jun-21 12:01:53

Is it so diffefent to when some of us were growing up? Mum had her groceries delivered - Dad dropped the order book to the shop in on his way past going to work, they came later that day; the milkman called 7 days a week, the baker called 6 days. Mum did go to the butchers but there was also a mobile one that she used. Papers were delivered. Yes we did go to shops for clothes, toys and other bits and pieces but not often as there wasn’t the money.

jaylucy Mon 21-Jun-21 12:00:36

I always think the same about going on a bus!
Not being able to drive, I have taken all of the littlies in my family on bus trips to the nearest towns and they have all loved it - one nephew was thrilled to have been on 4 different types of buses in one day!
It is such a shame as to me, actually going into a shop, using public transport etc should be part and parcel of children learning social skills. Of how to interact with complete strangers and to be polite even if things go wrong.
Way too easy to use a keyboard and be rude and offensive or do the same over the phone - after all, you are not speaking/ replying to a real person are you ?

MargaretinNorthant Mon 21-Jun-21 11:57:34

I buy as much online as I can. at 83 with two new hips and a crumbling spine all I get from shopping in shops is a form of road rage!

ayse Sun 20-Jun-21 18:52:52

I take my grandchildren of 6 1/2 shopping from time to time. They go with their Mum as well for choosing clothes like underwear and shoes as she buys most of their clothes secondhand. They know very well about online shopping. Recently we were looking for stuff for their craft boxes and were allowed £5.00 each. They thoroughly enjoyed choosing their own bits and pieces and paying for them.

I think it’s very important for them to learn about making choices within a budget either online or in person and the social skills involved.

As and aside, I loathe clothes shopping but online is such a lottery. I usually stick with retailers I know or from recommendation on Gransnet.

M0nica Sun 20-Jun-21 18:47:06

There was a great fashion for coffee shops in the late 1950s/60s. There was one in every town where teenagers collected and it would have a juke box. I can remember The Palimeno in central Reading.

The 2is Coffee shop in Soho was an influential music venue. Both Tommy Steele and Cliff Richard were discovered playing there.

It was in Old Compton Street, Soho and was famous enough to now have an official plaque on the wall sayi; Site of the 2i's Coffee Bar (1956-1970). Birthplace of British Rock and Roll and the popular music industry

My only complaint is that you cannot get good black coffee in Britain. Because most people put milk in coffee in some form, the coffee used tends to have a bitter aftertaste so that the flavour doesn't disappear when you add milk.

In France where most people drink coffee black, the coffee has flavour but is much smoother. On the other hand I would think it tasted pretty awful if you put milk in it.

Teacheranne Sun 20-Jun-21 18:32:40

Baggs

I'm amazed that grans on here got coffee when they shopped as teenagers. Getting a decent cup of coffee anywhere in the UK is a new (last twentyfive years or so) phenomenon in my experience.

I’m not sure about the quality but there were plenty of places to get a coffee in Manchester when I was a teenager in the early 1970’s - I worked in The Milk Bar in Piccadilly Gardens where were sold frothy coffee made by putting a metal wand with holes in to the cup which blew out hot air! I thought it was the height of sophistication! There were also lots of places to get coffee in the department stores of course.

Amberone Sun 20-Jun-21 18:31:14

There were five of us children and we rarely went shopping, so when we did it was a big occasion. I think most of our clothes were bought from catalogues - Freemans, etc.

That may be why I'm not a habitual shopper (although I do love a trip to B&Q to check out the power tools!) but I only buy online if I can't find what I want locally. Sadly that's getting to be more and more often.

greenlady102 Sun 20-Jun-21 18:04:58

Peasblossom

I guess if you were brought up in a town shopping was one of your daily experiences. But in a rural village just after the war almost all our stuff was delivered. The milkman, the butchers boy, the bread man daily.

Weekly, the drapery man with household linen, the hardware man, the Corona fizzy drink man, the Friday weekend pastries.

Going shopping in town was an event that required dressing up for the occasion.

yes I have been thinking about this ansd my own childhood... Children who are adults now will have grown up without seeing the chimney sweep, without having fed the the greengrocer's horse an apple (or scooped up his poo for dad's roses!) without buying roasted chestnuts off the street vendor, without wearing saggy knitted swimming costumes.
i grew up without artisan bread, farmer's markets, school ski-ing trips......autres temps

Doodledog Sun 20-Jun-21 17:42:41

I think children should go to the shops it will teach them social skills which are essential in life. Sitting in front of a computer 24/7 is not healthy and it won’t teach provenance of goods purchased.
It's not one or the other though. Not shopping does not equal sitting in front of computers 24/7.

Also, most websites give very clear information about where goods are from, whereas unless you are served by the person doing the ordering that is much less likely in a shop.

Peasblossom Sun 20-Jun-21 17:25:43

I guess if you were brought up in a town shopping was one of your daily experiences. But in a rural village just after the war almost all our stuff was delivered. The milkman, the butchers boy, the bread man daily.

Weekly, the drapery man with household linen, the hardware man, the Corona fizzy drink man, the Friday weekend pastries.

Going shopping in town was an event that required dressing up for the occasion.

SueDonim Sun 20-Jun-21 17:17:33

I’m not sure that’s entirely the case, Baggs. My mum used to take us to a cafe/ice cream parlour when we were children. She would have coffee and we’d have ice cream. It was a red letter day if she put some of the foam onto my ice cream! I was excited to grow up and be allowed my own cup of coffee. It was like a modern latte, really. smile