Hi there, I had a dreadful relationship with food for many years.
My mother was a narc and my father was an abusive bully.
Mealtimes were like going into the lions den, I was picked on, demeaned, cross examined on the minutiae of my day added to which my mother resented buying and cooking food for me to eat.
When I became a mother and wife, I made a conscious effort to prepare lovely food and make mealtimes happy and inclusive, gradually I got better and better as food became something that bonded our family, I am now a happy 12/14 and have only once in 30+ years wavered.
My Father died 27 years ago and my Mother 1 year ago, every day I am on this earth and they are not makes me feel stronger and stronger.
I hope you find a way as I did.