Not seeing a grandchild is like a bereavement

Your welcome.

I have peace enough thanks Namsnanny. I have an approach that works for me. :-)

I shan't repeat myself.
I sincerely hope both you and the OP find a level of peace in your life, CafeAuLait.

Namsnanny

I do believe and acknowledge what you feel. Whole heartedly.♥️
But companions only lead to more pain.
Which I do not wish to contribute to.
Suffice to say language and the use of it is important.
The op said like

That's the thing. It is not at all like a bereavement. I don't think we should lose track of the main thing though, which is that OP has her own kind of grief she needs support of. I just can't help feel how lucky some people are to not know the drastic difference.

Companions = comparisons

I do believe and acknowledge what you feel. Whole heartedly.♥️
But companions only lead to more pain.
Which I do not wish to contribute to.
Suffice to say language and the use of it is important.
The op said like

Namsnanny

The word like is important here lucca.
I respect your opinions on this, but perhaps pain and suffering is what it is regardless of its origins?
No need for comparisons to add to it.

Believe me, it's nothing like a bereavement. Not to negate pain and suffering of this kind, it's its own kind of pain. I believe OP will see her grandson again. There might just need to be a legal process before that can happen. Hopefully for OP it's just a temporary loss.

The word like is important here lucca.
I respect your opinions on this, but perhaps pain and suffering is what it is regardless of its origins?
No need for comparisons to add to it.

Please don’t call it a bereavement, have a thought for those who have been bereaved of a child.

It’s a difficult and sad situation but there is hope that it can be resolved.

Thank you.

Elaine, if child safety is an issue, then that will be taken into account, though I know it isn't a perfect system. Whatever happened in the marriage between the couple might have no bearing on the fitness of the father or mother. If the mother isn't open to negotiating then my impression is that 50/50 custody is often sought these days, unless there is reason not to. You can bet if my son wasn't being allowed to see his child, I'd be supporting my son in any way I could to go for as much time with his child as he could get, assuming he wanted that.

To all those who advise going to court and 50/50 access - you have no idea of the circumstances of the break up apart from a one sided view. You have no idea of safety of the child or what has happened in the marriage. Mediation is the first step of sorting access not court which lines the lawyers pockets but can cause heartbreak and financial difficulties.

resist the natural urge to regard your son's ex as the baddy;
it is unlikely to be true and will not help the atmosphere, where reasoned negotiation is needed.
good luck.

Your son must fight to get 50/50 custody'; the courts are far more in favour of shared parenting and his partner will not be able to dictate terms. But he must persist and not give up.

My daughter's partner fought for this, and gained it, and several years later he is in good terms with his ex-wife, both are in new relationships and most importantly, the children are happy and settled.

sodapop

I am sorry for the situation you and your son find yourselves in Ski66
However your grandson is alive and well and there is always a chance circumstances may change. This does not compare to bereavement at all.

True. As a bereaved parent I find it an odd comparison. It's a loss, yes, but a very different loss.

Ski66, a lot of times parents get 50/50 custody these days, if one of them wants equal shared parenting time. Your son should go to court to get time which his ex-partner can't control, then you can see your grandson.

No, please don't see this as bereavement. Bereavement is something else altogether.

Good luck. I hope things are sorted soon.

I am sorry for the situation you and your son find yourselves in Ski66
However your grandson is alive and well and there is always a chance circumstances may change. This does not compare to bereavement at all.

Sorry typos!

Your in a state if flux, and the future is not yours to dictate.
So I'm not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed.
Do what ever it takes to get feel better.
Your son will need your support.

As Hithere said legal advice should eventually put orders on place that will help.
Good luck

Your son must fight for his rights to his son, according to the law. Get a lawyer

What terms is she imposing for visitation? What are her non realistic expectations?

Once there are a custody order, visitation and other legal arrangements settled, you can see your gc through your son.

Ski66 - I haven’t experienced what you are going through but my heart goes out to you.
Hopefully if your son can get good legal advice and get access arrangements sorted out, he will be able to bring your grandchild to visit you during the times he has the youngster. Relationship breakdowns cause so much heartache, not just for the couple but for their extended families. Everything is in flux at the moment but have hope that it will get sorted out in the end.