Being a Nanna

Thank you Misty for being so understanding. I hid my depression from my friends. I always felt such a failure as a mother but my DS and I are now very close. I love being a Nan.

I must be a bit odd, because whilst I love my grandchildren it’s nothing like the love I felt for my own kids.

I’m with the OP on this one. I held my granddaughter when she was just a few hours old and felt such an overwhelming love for her that has never changed. I love my three sons to the very depths of my being, but the love I have for this wee girl is very special.

NanKate so sorry you had postnatal depression a d I expect in those days you did not get help from the doctor health visitor etc So you didn’t enjoy being a new mum You are not alone I have met many mums like you some with the baby blues some with postnatal psychosis and now you enjoy your grandchildren as much as you can .In those days we were expected to give up work once we had a baby and stay at home .I remember being told off by a Health Visitor why do you want to go back to work for and I said I was bored (answer from her nice house etc)but for me mentally bored My in-laws couldn’t understand it either but they were very old fashioned Yes I have grandchildren and enjoy them and one set look after for childcare every week .

Agree with srn63. I am overjoyed to watch my son parent our granddaughter. We pass on a heritage to our children, and they do the same for their children. I am blessed to be a new "nanna".

That’s so beautiful Cherrytree59

My daughter had a difficult pregnancy and as her partner worked away, I accompanied to maternity appointments and emergency appointments
Every time I saw my grandson on the monitors, I felt the rush of love for a child that was my flesh and blood.

I was extremely lucky to be at the birth of my first grandson.
When I held him an arrow pierced my heart.
It took me by complete surprise.

My love for my maternal grandmother was almost the same.
We shared an unbreakable bond.

Invisible umbilical cord that runs from my grandmother right down the generations to grandsons..

MountainAsh - that is so great to hear, and so encouraging.
Good for you and your lovely family.

I had that overwhelming, falling in love feeling when my sons were born and am very close to them to this day. I love them and their spouses with all my heart.

My own mom never seemed to feel that way toward me. She was an efficient stay-at-home mom but always distant emotionally. I don't remember her ever hugging me and she disliked being hugged herself until the day she died. I only remember two close moments with her - once when she peeked into the hospital room when my first son was born and once when she was in the hospital before she died. Both times I was shocked but so happy to feel that connection. Years ago, she and my dad were legal guardians for my young niece for five years and I remember feeling surprised by how much love Mom showed to her granddaughter but not her own child. It sort of stung a bit to be honest.

srn63 I Agree. I can’t really comment on how I feel about my gc compared to my ac, as I’ve only met gc on zoom. But for now while I feel overwhelmed with love for GC my AC are still the apples of my eyes. But watching ds1 navigate parenting makes me proud. He is such a hands on loving dad.

I never had children. When I met and married my husband, his two adult daughters, immediately called me Mum and treated me as their birth Mother. I always wondered what maternal instinct felt like. Fast forward 10 yrs. The first Grandchild arrived. With much love, trust and understanding my DSD allowed me to form a very strong bond with her PFB.
DGS is now 11 and is very close to me and his hero (Grandad)

Eventually my second DSD had two children and again I experienced the same strong maternal feelings.
I may not have given birth, but, my maternal side has been well and truly fulfilled.
I can’t compare the love of your own child to that of Grandbabies. I do know that it is powerful and all consuming.
I am very proud to say that we are a tight knit, happy family.
Barbety Don’t question your feelings, just enjoy them.

Good point, Barberty.
Hope you aren't offended.

I never said I love my grandsons more than I love my own children!!!

Glad I'm not alone.
I feel hesitant to say it, usually.

Same here MissAdventure and MOnica

Yes, I agree MissAdventure. I just do not do 'overwhelming adoration'. It is not in my psyche.

Same here MissAdventure. And it took a while.

GlamGran59

I'm so with you. I remember being shocked at the strength of feelings I had for my granddaughter when she was born. It was that 'I could kill someone with my bare hands should they even think about harming her'

Did you never feel that about your own children?

I think it’s very odd to favour your GC over your own children.

All of mine had to grow on me.
Daughter and grandchildren.
I never seemed to get that overwhelming adoration.

I only felt the overwhelming love for baby number 3, the other 3 grew on me! I adore my gc and feel very protective towrds them but they my childrens children. I would never overstep the mark but just support my dc in any way they need.

Not more love ..... but certainly the same.
I cannot differentiate between my two kids and two grandkids and I think it’s down to a stressful marriage.... a useless husband..... and a total lack of the wherewithal to help them progress through life . But now with more money to spare and more time on my hands I can devote a lot of it to all four of them..... I cannot bear to see any of them , kids or grandkids go without ! If I’ve got it... time or money.... they are welcome to it.

I'm so with you. I remember being shocked at the strength of feelings I had for my granddaughter when she was born. It was that 'I could kill someone with my bare hands should they even think about harming her'

I am completely besotted with my grandson, but I keep it quiet. Less so with my granddaughter, which is odd because I always wanted a girl.

Totally i always say they're mine once removed ?...

I love my DGC totally they are the Light of my life. Only one I love more is my wonderful son who is the Love of my life!