Calls from your adult children

As long as we are all happy with contact, that is all that matters.

When my parents were alive I rang them once a week, no mobile phones then and phone calls were expensive,

After my mother died, both my sister and myself began ringing home more frequently, but six weeks after being widowed, DF told both of us firmly to go back to the old routine of the regular weekly call. It was what he was used to and he didn't want to see himself as someone who needed to be checked on, so we did and we were all happy.

Statisticallyl I am likely to become terminally ill or dead quite soon as I am nearly 90.
I have guessed my two sons collaborated on what care I need, and they are meticulous and kind in what they give me----actually I don't need a lot as I am still mostly free of severe diseases.
One son rings me every day. if he forgets I ring him in case he is worried I am unwell. He often starts "Just checking , Mum" and lets me know if he can't chat on that occasion, (he has a tremendous social life!) although usually we chat for not more than five minutes.

H1954 wrote:

MissAdventure

""I think its rude to phone when you know someone is out for a visit.""

"Yes, I agree, it is rude, not only on the part of the daughter who most probably knew her Mum was visiting the OP but also 'the Mum' who took the call. Why not divert the call?"

I agree .This happens to me regularly. It is nearly alwyas one particular daughter in law who does it, and one son who receives the call, often breaking into what i am saying to start talking to her about some social arrangement. I resent is deeply and think it is apallingly bad manners.
I mentioned it once to my son and he agreed but can't have really understood. By this time I know he is dutiful and kind to me, but I am low on his list of interesting companions.

This reminded me of my friend. Every time I see her, at least one of her kids will call, normally with some crisis or other. It’s never a social call to see how she is!

My son rings rarely and always by appointment…he will email to ask if such and such a day and time is ok to catch up!..it’s weird, he became more and more distant once he met his future wife…

I've found it fascinating, reading all the replies. Why is so complicated? My adult sons call me if they've got something to tell me. Similarly I call them for the same reason! It seems that a lot of people wait for their family to call and then get upset when they don't. I do have a friend whose daughter and granddaughter call her several times a day but they always seem very "needy" to me.

We have a WhatsApp group, my sons may ring me now and again, I see my daughter once a week and have tea with her.

In contact with my two daughters most days, but on WhatsApp.

My sons aren't the best communicators which is fine by me. Daughters in law are great at sending messages and photos of the children.

As to the comment in the original post, why did your friend not have her phone on silent whilst visiting? Also I've no idea why she has such constant contact but that's not anyone's issue but hers I'd have thought.

My son's daily calls to me are so that I have no need to pay the local car service to check me out daily in case I am dead or helpless.

care