When we were young and beautiful

A young man I knew (as a friend) once said to me when I was about 17 "I like you. You're very straight." This was after a conversatiin we'd had about another person He didn't mean it in the sexual way (as in not gay) but meaning I was honest and forthright and didn't play mind games. I have always remembered it, for almost 50 years. It wasn't about my appearance, but I took it as a much greater compliment than anything like that. I've also tried to live up to it.

Slightly different topic but how do you feel about women giving you compliments, particularly strangers?

I once told a woman on the tube that I though her hair was lovely (it was - gorgeous coppery colour and an amazing style), I also complimented a woman on her coat (in St Ives if that's relevant?).

Both women seemed delighted, thanked me and gave lovely smiles.

It's happened to me once or twice - I remember someone stopped me and asked where I'd got a handbag from for example.

Do you think it's weird? Or nice?

I too had a pen pal, an Italian, Fabio Cavazzini, I was only 14, can’t remember why the writing stopped, we met in Venice on a school trip, lovely name though. Men used to tell me I had lovely eyes, well I’ve still got them!

I think all young people are lovely, I remember that feeling of going out and feeling really good, I only really came into my own style when I went to college, and I felt comfortable and maybe a bit desirable.
I was certainly no beauty, and the boys I really wanted to fancy me usually didn’t, but plenty more fish in the sea.

I have never thought of myself as beautiful and was never popular at school. I had a crush on one of the Italians for 5 years and he always rejected me. At a reunion a few years ago he wouldn’t leave me alone and kept saying how I had blossomed into a beautiful lady and would I go on a date with him!!! Made my day that did?

Greeneyedgirl

Ha ha Alegrias, beauty fades but “smart” doesn’t - er hopefully.

Well given that I forgot to put the oven on tonight when I put the quiche in, I'm not sure ??

Oh gosh, sorry Kate, I’m very pleased to hear it

I can't even remember the Italian's name.

But I will never forget the French man (well, he was a boy).
It was a very innocent romance.

Ha ha Alegrias, beauty fades but “smart” doesn’t - er hopefully.

Maggiemaybe

I had an American penpal, Callistemon. His name was Randy (I kid you not), and of course he asked for a photo. I sent him one of my friend and myself, and still have a copy of it - we're resplendent in our mini-skirts and painted-on bottom lashes, sitting by our coal fire eating what could well be a Vesta curry from soup bowls. Of course I expected a fulsome compliment from him and all he did was ask what my friend's name was. I don't think I wrote to him again after that.

??? I bet he was fat from too many burgers, spotty and uncouth.
He didn't deserve you

No, not me. Never was, never will be...

He was joking Sara !!

Kate
That’s horrible!

You can be attractive without being beautiful. I was that young girl, and I think I still am, even at this age. My nose is big, my teeth are not perfect, my legs are skinny, but I am a ‘chatter ‘……maybe that’s why ……

My husband always put me in my place! We were once at a posh do in London. I was tiny then and had a tight skimpy dress on. A man started chatting to us. He was staring at me and said to my DH 'I love beautiful women,' My DH replied 'Me too. One day I hope to get one'.

I regret feeling self conscious when I was young, I remember being 'ashamed' of my fat arms. Now I'm 64 with arms I definitely don't want to show with rivers of wasted muscle, I wish I'd known what I know now, that all youth is beautiful.

My forties seem to have been the golden years. Lacked confidence and chutzpah to feel good about myself in earlier years. I don’t think attractiveness is just about looks. I think you need to believe in yourself and project your personality.

I've remembered another incident. Many years ago I met DH in a pub ( a rare treat with three children under five to look after) near his office in Glasgow City Centre.
The next day the office gossip was that the boss (DH) was having an affair with a stunning redhead. I was really chuffed!

I had an American penpal, Callistemon. His name was Randy (I kid you not), and of course he asked for a photo. I sent him one of my friend and myself, and still have a copy of it - we're resplendent in our mini-skirts and painted-on bottom lashes, sitting by our coal fire eating what could well be a Vesta curry from soup bowls. Of course I expected a fulsome compliment from him and all he did was ask what my friend's name was. I don't think I wrote to him again after that.

I also have had a compliment I have never forgotten from my husband’s friend who passed away at an early age . We were in a club and my husband who was my boyfriend at the time was at the bar . He said you could have your pick of any man in this room. I did tell my husband after he had died . It was the nicest compliment ive ever had . I was very shy and not confident at all . So Ive never forgotten it .

I well remember being enormously pregnant with my DS. DH and I went to his firms Christmas party. One of the men there who I didn’t know told me how beautiful I was. I’ve never forgotten it.

Ellianne

French men are pretty good at it too!
(I once left a devastated French fiancé behind in France!)

Yes, they are.

I had a French boyfriend in France too.
They are also good at two-timing.
He dented my heart slightly ?

Marydoll

Oh I was never beautiful, so I can't relate to that! ?

However, when we used to visit our favourite restaurant in Rome, I was always greeted by the owner with a lovely smile, a hug and the words, Cara bellissima
He always made me feel beautiful!

Me neither.

However, when I was about 17 I had an Italian pen friend arranged through college, so quite above board. We exchanged photos and wrote for a while then I got a letter from her older brother who sent a photo and a passionate love letter. He adored me, wanted to marry me, would love me for ever and if I didn't go to Napoli to be with him he would come to fetch me!

I stopped writing and he never arrived.

I always seemed to attract the obsessive ones, at least one gentleman would have been labelled a stalker these days. My husband had to go and see him eventually, started off quite flattering, but ended up quite scary.