Emphasising children are adopted

When celebs are unable to have children, that fact sometimes comes out in interviews and news articles. It is then available in archives when reporters are writing subsequent items, and gets added it in as a further "human interest" angle. Once something it in the media, it is public property - even such an emotional subject as difficulty conceiving, and the parentage of your children.

As for adopting and then not treating the child as your own wanted offspring - words fail me.

When you’re adopted, as I was, many things get said or done, which at the time don’t make an impression, but later, I’ve found myself asking, would that have been said...or done, if I were the biological child. I can’t think of specific examples, but I do have recollections of people saying things like, “ she’s bound to be different to you”

felice that is awful, and a disgrace to the adoption system. With me, my father wasn’t bothered, my mum was. My father in many ways ended up more nurturing. I always felt my mum regretted it with me, but this regret came after they’d adopted another girl, ( different birth mother to me ), and found her to be very like our adoptive mum. Needless to say, I had no relationship with either of them, but a good one with my granny.

I wonder if the reason for announcing your children as ‘ adopted’, somehow appeases the parent of any blame, should later on, those children don’t ‘ turn out well’, especially if you’re in the public eye.

Thanks everyone for your support, I will not comment again as DD came downstairs yesterday and found me a wee bit upset, big hug and a lecture followed.
She has a point, the only family I have left that I contact are my Dads and they are all much loved and loving.
to all have a great weekend.

I thought that was what you meant Newatthis - I'd had that thought too.

I once made a boob when I told a lady her daughter looked just like her (but she did) and she answered that she was adopted but I think in a way it was complement
I think that’s awful Felice
It was done to hurt me, she never wanted a child but my Father threatened to leave her unless she agreed …..were you your fathers’ child or was he just a more caring person? I cannot understand anyone being so cruel to a kid glad your fathers side have compassion
Another horrid family nexus why do people have children they don’t want it never ceases to amaze me

Soda pop I was talking about the famous people who the article was about. It would be terrible for this family if their adopted children had found out through this newspaper article.

I seemed to put my foot on it when I asked a friend if she had watched Nicky Campbell in Long Lost family as it had been so interesting. She said she didn't watch as it was ùpsetting and changed the subject. I had forgotten that her 2 kids are adopted. Also need to avoid talking about IVF or miscarriage.The kids are so much h part of the family most people don't realise.

my first husband was adopted and never knew until he was 16 and asked for his birth certificate for his 1st job, his mother threw it at him and said you were adopted and she never wanted him. he asked for a key to the front door as some of his shifts finished late and was told no as him being adopted he might steal from them. after we split up he moved to england and never contacted them again. i think with celebs they say adopted because nobody ever saw them pregnant and that is fine at the start but they should not keep harping on about it.

Newatthis

Hope the children know!

Strange comment Newatthis and not really your business

Horrible things to say Felice . Some people have no conscience. I'm glad others in your family treated you well.

?felice

My MIL wasn’t a nice person. One day at a coffee morning, she listened to a friend saying (not bragging) that her son had done well and was at Uni doing medicine. MIL waited for her to finish and then announced to everyone that he wasn’t her son - he was adopted. To the day she died, she couldn’t see what she’d said was wrong and so hurtful.

I dislike lazy and irrelevant reporting. Price of their house, status as in 'battling granny sees off handbag snatcher'. I always think of someone like Grandma out of The Broons, black coat, ill fitting dentures, hat firmly clamped on to permed hair. Nothing like anyone on here. Also stupid interviews when there has been a violent crime 'How do you feel?'.....'Nothing like this has ever happened around here'. They are always a 'close knit community'. Shudder

It was done to hurt me, she never wanted a child but my Father threatened to leave her unless she agreed. Not very nice either.
I have not lived near her for 50 plus years and the lies she told about me were terrible, even telling people I was in prison.
My lawyer in the UK has sent out a few cease and desist notices over the years sadly, not to my Mother but to those passing on the lies.
Luckily my Fathers family have always accepted me and are wonderful.

I find it ridiculous that anyone would refer to any child with a prefix ! I do not introduce my son as "not adopted" !

Myself,my sister and brother were adopted by my dad,and never in the 52 years did he ever refer to us as anything but his children.
In fact somebody actually thought i looked like him,and i didn`t say anything but "that`s a first",and my dad beamed.

Yes, *Newatthis", they do. They have known from the start.

Hope the children know!

That was a bit harsh, felice, wasn't it. I hope your life has been ok in spite of it. .
I myself was adopted and I have two adopted grandchildren.
I agree that it's a pity it has to be emphasised by the press etc.

Blimey felice that is a bit much - I think that would have made me very fed up. What a strange thing to say.

I have adopted relatives - I simply refer to them as my nephews

Equally, journalists usually put some kind of label on people who are in the news for any reason. They will say housewife, pensioner, mother or state their job etc.

My Mother always even as an adult introduced me as' this is xxxxxxx she is not actually ours, but someone had to look after her'. It was hurtful and confusing to people, who would then ask me why I had not told them.
When I asked them if it mattered they would say 'well not really but'.
Always wondered about the 'but', but if it mattered to them they did not matter to me.

And their obsession with age when for most purposes it matters not a jot whether someone is 25 or 52.

It is similar to the “pensioner Betty….” “Mother of two Sally…”

Yes, that's what my gripe is. Why is it necessary for journalists to expressly state that a celeb's child is adopted? They are their son or daughter, and as integral to the family and loved in the exact same way as a biological child.
No need to make an unnecessary distinction when simply outlining the details of the celebrity's family life.

This is really about media reporting rather than terms the parents use day to day.