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(20 Posts)
ninathenana Sat 28-Aug-21 11:42:52

I had what I would call a paint exchange very minor nudge in a supermarket car park yesterday. I was reversing out of a space and the line of cars suddenly stopped.
The other car was a BMW and the young guy started on about that's a 2-3K bumper, I'm in the military, don't mess with me, that's going to cost you.
IMHO the marks and it was just marks, not scratches, would polish out but he's taking it to his insurance.
Do you think he's over reacting ?

JaneJudge Sat 28-Aug-21 11:46:59

Did you take photographs?

It is really unnecessary for someone to behave in such a manner, sorry that has happened.

Some one drove into my car on a car park as I was walking back to the car. I knocked on the window and said, that is my car and she reversed out of the space, did a shrug of the shoulders and pulled a face...and then she drove off grin Luckily there was no damage to my car and me and my son, who was with me at the time, still laugh about it

merlotgran Sat 28-Aug-21 11:49:09

I would just let the insurance companies sort it out. Being in the military doesn't mean he can use threatening language so I would pass that information on to my insurance company should the need arise.

Did you give him your details?

Aldom Sat 28-Aug-21 11:50:41

Did you take any photos of the 'damage'? If you did it could help your case with the insurance claim if he does go ahead. I feel for you. Very unpleasant and upsetting.

LauraNorder Sat 28-Aug-21 11:51:49

Hope you took a photo of the damage to both vehicles, it will help.
I would refer the whole thing to your insurance company who will fight it on your behalf.
Also mention to them the threatening behaviour. ‘I’m in the military, don’t mess with me, this is going to cost you’.
Very intimidating but meaningless.
Please don’t get yourself worked up over such an oik. Your insurers will take the burden from you, that’s what they’re there for.
Have a nice cup of tea and a piece of cake.
Good luck

ninathenana Sat 28-Aug-21 11:51:57

Yes I have photos and we exchanged details

JaneJudge Sat 28-Aug-21 11:56:02


Yes I have photos and we exchanged details

Just leave it with your insurers and try not to worry x

Daisend1 Sat 28-Aug-21 12:00:49

I bet you were shaking grin as if.Why mention the military?
Exchange details and leave the rest to your and his insurance .
I too once caused the same and informed my insurance but never heard anything more Clearly the guy did not feel it worth losing his '*no claims*' for a touch of paint.

Hithere Sat 28-Aug-21 12:05:16

May I ask what you said to the guy?

I am glad you took pics.
Maybe the car was his baby and BMWs are very expensive!

Fun fact: in some states in the US, there is a no fault rule in parking lots

Namsnanny Sat 28-Aug-21 12:24:15

Car problems bring out the worst in people.
Sounds as if he is being a twit.
I'm glad you have photos, as others said let the insurance company sort things out.
That's what we pay them for, so we dont have the hassle.

Mattsmum2 Sat 28-Aug-21 13:00:52

Hope you get this sorted. I had a similar situation that caused me to accept part blame because the insurance companies wouldn’t accept my side of things. I’ve now got a dashcam so there’s evidence of what is going on.

Namsnanny Sat 28-Aug-21 14:49:18

We've got a dashcam too Mattsmum2.......
It's been in the shead for 3 years waiting to be fitted!

dustyangel Sat 28-Aug-21 15:07:07

I feel for you nina, as we came back to our car in the car park a couple of days ago and found it with another one slightly hooked up onto the bumper. We have been lucky in that he seems a thoroughly decent chap and photographs and details were exchanged and DH met him earlier today to exchange paperwork. He could so easily have badly damaged the car by driving away. I hope yours gets sorted out easily.

Callistemon Sat 28-Aug-21 15:10:32

I'm in the military, don't mess with me, that's going to cost you.

Idiot! I doubt he is. In my experience, most military men wouldn't threaten a woman like that. If he is then I'm sure "the military" would like to know and he'd get a warning.

You have photos, you have passed the details to your insurance company and leave it to them to sort out now.

As LauraNorder said, have a nice brew and [cake].
Deep breaths - and relax

Auntieflo Sat 28-Aug-21 15:16:57

Oh Nina, I do so commiserate with you, as that happened to us some years ago.
We were reversing out of a car park space, and 'kissed' back bumpers with another car. There were no visible marks on our car, but the other was covered with old scratches, bumps and marks. We didn't have a phone camera, but exchanged details.

We had to settle for being 50% in the wrong, and it has always niggled , as I did wonder whether the other party benefitted.

jacksmum Sat 28-Aug-21 15:49:32

Very strange he said about being in the military as most would not give that info, did you exchange insurance details with him? best to let insurance companies sort it out

Polarbear2 Sat 28-Aug-21 16:04:31

I had a little nudge a few years back. Girl stopped unexpectedly. No damage. I reported to my insurers but heard nothing more until I came to renew. It turned out she’d claimed whiplash and was paid over £500 by my insurers. They never asked me for my story. I was told they don’t follow up many claims as it takes too long. My premium went up tho and I got a ‘claim’ on my record so other insurers also put their prices up. Don’t just assume all is ok. Hassle your insurers!!

Sarnia Sat 28-Aug-21 16:21:19

I hope you took photos, exchanged details and informed your insurance company. I have an accident checklist in my car since, like you, I came across a bombastic bully of a man who thought he could browbeat an elderly lady driver. His car had rolled back into mine in a line of stationary traffic. He was objectionable and patronising. There was no damage on either car but that didn't stop him instructing solicitors to claim damages for whiplash! I was extremely worried but my insurers were brilliant. They have ways and means of investigating claimants and they found out that this particular charmer who was making a claim on me made a habit of it and had put in 3 previous claims for whiplash. After getting in touch with him with their findings he dropped the claim. Protect yourself.

Peasblossom Sat 28-Aug-21 16:28:56

Always best to take any even minor “nudge” to your insurers. You never know what might surface months or even years down the line, so I don’t think he’s overreacting.

I speak from bitter experience after a man “nudged’ me from behind at the traffic lights. We both got out, shrugged and drive away,

Nearly two years later he lodged a claim after taking one of those accident phone calls. He nudged me.

cornergran Sat 28-Aug-21 16:49:39

Another here who has been in the same position, except it was our next door neighbours car many years ago, no excuse other than I was being harassed from the back seat by fighting small boys. We polished the marks off, neighbourly relations remained intact. Our car had not a mark on it, all the more embarrassing. It encouraged me to reverse onto our drive from the shared bit rather than reverse out. Safer for the neighbours we thought. blush.

Don’t worry nina, he was unnecessarily rude. Insurance will sort it, if indeed there proves anything to sort. I would reiterate others thoughts about making a note of his words, pass them to your insurer. Enjoy that cake, it’s medicinal smile.