The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

I’ve started to do this. Every cupboard in the house is filled with total rubbish and junk. I’ll hopefully be about a long, long time yet, but under no illusions that my sons won’t want to keep anything of mine and DH’s, we own nothing valuable and they don’t like our taste ? Most of the clutter is stuff that honestly even the charity shops won’t want, finding ways to recycle most of it will be a challenge.

My fathers house was a nightmare to pack and clear, took all of us weeks, but thankfully MIL’s isn’t as bad when her time comes.

Got to smile at this because I am in my 91st year and have been doing this for the past 6 months.

It is fascinating to look back at old letters and documents going right back to my grandparents wedding certificate in 1897.

It's a great idea ! I'd get rid of unwanted paper material, books, pamphlets, cards, except that one of my sons is super efficient at sorting through papers and books and the task would take him about one hour.

We are a family of six at the moment, including three children, so the clutter levels keep going up!
I’m not by nature a hoarder, I love my things, but I can’t stand mess, so when they eventually leave I’ll take great delight in filling up several skips.
I do have a lot of books which at some point will have to be disposed of kindly, I don’t want no three child making a massive bonfire.

Well said T, I'm with you 100%

This rings a bell with me, as we are busy clearing out the rubbish of 53 years of married life before moving to a much smaller house, and running a business, too. I found a pile of diaries from the last ten years, and have decided to shred them; they either bring back sad thoughts of friends and family who have died, or sad memories of disappointments, etc. Yes, a few laughs too, but I don't want anyone else reading them, so what's the point? Much better to spend more time on Gransnet than writing my day-to-day doings (such as they are!).

I may have to buy it and it will gather dust just like the art of Feng Shui and Marie Kondo's book on decluttering. She even has a film on netflix
www.netflix.com/gb/title/80209379
Some of us are just not tidy by nature.

The Gentle Art

I don't find it gentle, I find it stressful.

I find clearing a relative's house after death a a soothing and contemplative way of accepting the bereavement. It will have bad as well good moments, .

I'm with you LullyDully we did de clutter when we moved almost 5 years ago but still have a lot of ornaments (OK they're mine), paintings etc but this is our home and we want to enjoy it.

If and when we decide to change things it will be because that's what we want, and not to make it easier for those left behind when we die.

I bought the book and mentioned it to DS2 as a gentle way to introduce him to the fact that we are, in fact, not immortal...

Oh he replied. I thought it was a kind of IKEA meatballs
?

I think my OHs “joke” will explain where I stand.
i daren’t stand around to long or I’ll be out the door ?
My lovely ‘elderly’ neighbour has a lovely joke about her demise.
She says incase you don’t hear I’ve died, you’ll know because all my jugs will be in the charity shop

Kamiso - So many charity shops and organisations are no longer taking certain items that they don’t have space to store

You could always try selling or giving them away on Facebook marketplace. You advertise in your local area and it is free. Most people are happy to collect. I have sold or given away quite a few items of furniture on there recently. If it is something old or a bit tatty I list it as an upcycling project.

Better to recycle than take them to the tip.

Me and my mother were clearing out an old aunts house years ago. I loved finding all the old newspapers, receipts etc.

PinkCosmos

I love watching salvage hunters, I must admit.

I sorted my drawers and my wardrobe and got rid of loads to the clothes bank on the pub car park, so I feel I've achieved something today.

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I tried posting some stuff (1960s mags and manuals) on eBay in case there was a remote chance of another geek somewhere in the universe who is collecting the same stuff as DH did.
There wasn't, so I chucked it eventually but there's still a mountain to go.

One friend says "why throw it out if it still evoked memories and you have the space?is it to have a bare and minimalist house? How boring"

I’m 56 so hoping for a good few years left. Looking at my FILs house spurs me on, I don’t think he’s thrown anything away for the past 40 years, newspaper cuttings, copies of the Tablet, nails, screws etc. He also has a habit of saying you mustn’t get rid of this piece of furniture when I’m gone. Very little of his furniture is to any of his children’s tastes and unlikely to be worth anything. They downsized from a six bedroomed house to a four bedroomed house 15 years ago but with not much reduction in clutter. He hides anything valuable in random places, a Russian icon in the sack of potatoes for example so everything will have to be gone through carefully.
Moving to a house without a garage has made us be ruthless, so I’m following William Morris’s diktat about being useful or beautiful, if it’s not either it’s out.

This is an interesting one. My parents had quite exciting lives, lived all over the world. Picked up lots of stuff along the way.

My father suddenly began this death cleaning. Awful term. But it was awful. My poor mum would find items in the bin. He was relentless. Had it just been his stuff I suppose it would have been fine but no. It was Mum's. I found her silver christening mug in the bin which was due to be collected.

Also I rather like looking at all the bits and bobs that have made up lives. It's a sad part of life when we have to empty loved ones homes but in some ways it can be bittersweet.

We are moving very soon and I really wish we had started to declutter 10 years ago. So much easier if we could just take one box at a time or dedicate one/two hours a week.

Much of it belonged to the older generation who worried about where their possessions would end up so we took them and put them in our loft (where most have remained for 15 years).

We are both shattered and still have a way to go. So many charity shops and organisations are no longer taking certain items that they don’t have space to store.

I decluttered after my first house move. Took me ages but made next 4 moves easy. I then moved in with MrM. He’s got clutter everywhere. Inside and out. It’s very tricky trying to declutter someone else’s ‘prized’ possessions. He even collects other people’s clutter. His sister and myself had to prize things out of his hands when we cleared step mother’s house. Then he snook back for a few things.

One success- I have combined all my paperwork and his into just 2 files. Legal and work. There’s also a sheet of all necessary info family will need.

I’ve not heard it called that before! But having had to clear mums house this summer (it was a nightmare despite having “half” done it 6 years ago when dad died) I really need to start clearing out my own mounting clutter. I’m a hoarder by nature and certain rooms in my house certainly need a good clear out. Trouble is every time I think about starting - it’s seems such a huge task so I leave it! I’ve just told my boss that I’m retiring next March, so I’ll have no excuse then, I’ll just have to set 1 manageable task at time! Even just a drawer or a box - baby steps are still steps in the right direction !
Having thrown away 60 years of birthday/Xmas/wedding/congratulations on birth (etc) cards (mum kept everything!) I now realise that my son won’t even want to look at anything like that which I have got saved!

I read that book a few months ago. I admired the author's tenacity and can see the advantage for people left behind. Currently trying to throw out/ rehome an item a day. Can't let go of sentimental items eg snow globe my DS bought me from his first school trip visit and spent all his money on me...My way forward is to buy much less. Have most stuff in duplicate.

Has anyone watched this?

www.channel5.com/show/nick-knowles-big-house-clearout/

In a way, it made me feel better because all our clutter is in cupboards, on shelves, the attic etc, not haphazardly strewn around!

I started this after DH died earlier this year, then called a halt and have done nothing more for months now.

However, I am now very conscious of leaving "stuff" that DD will eventually have to clear up after me. Hoping to live quite a bit longer of course, but then so did DH.

I will at some point move somewhere smaller though, so that will be the perfect opportunity to properly declutter ... surely!!!

I'm sorting through my clothes today.....

Have done 3 drawers so far and I'm already losing the will to live.