Friend?

You mentioned, this friend of a friend goes with her girly “friends”- so there’s more than two, unless I’m reading it wrong. If there are others there, I don’t see a problem. But having said that, it’s pretty rude to leave a group and socialise with someone at the ‘other table’ so to speak.

Friend A ( social butterfly ) is using friend B ( wallflower) as her ‘base’ to pop back & forth from as & when she feels like it.
That’s it.
I’d advise friend B to make polite excuses in future, ( unless going for a nice quiet meal just the two of them ) it sounds like friend A has more than enough people she can use.

Tell your friend to either :
1. Tell her friend that it's rude to leave her alone as much.
2. Get up and go with her whenever she leaves the table.
3. Take another friend along with her who is less inclined to behave like that
4. Stop going

This friend isn't really so "lovely" is she? She seems to have a need to prove how popular she is all the time, and in doing so is being rude and inconsiderate to the friend she actually made the date with. How insulting.

"Don't make plans that only involve the two of you," would be my advice to the one who ends up sitting alone.

What CrazyH said.

If your friend and the group of ladies who socialise together don't like what the social butterfly does they should point it out to her. If she's as lovely as described she'll pay more attention to the people she's with.

It sounds as though your "friends friend" is being totally used by this other person solely for her company to get into whatever venue they go to and not seen to be on her own,she is being used by this person and needs to speak up or stop going.

Sitting alone whilst your lovely, kind, nice all round friend who everyone loves, flits about talking to others for most of the time on an evening out, doesn’t sound like a barrel of laughs to me. So much better to stay home and not feel awkward or self conscious. Looks as if this ‘so lovely’ social butterfly just wants a “wingman” - or the female equivalent, to make herself feel comfortable and in case the evening turns out to be unexpectedly quiet!

Not a lot of communication here and it looks as if the often abandoned one hasn’t had the courage to put a stop to this behaviour. Think her friend is being very selfish or, at best, thoughtless and rude. If she’s so lovely, she’s not going to mind the truth….they both expect different things from their night out and the often abandoned one would clearly prefer to spend time in a one-to-one outing or a small fixed group. Any awkward refusals or excuses would be more likely to spoil this friendship than speaking the truth, I should think. So, no need for unpleasantness -but don’t feel used - if you both want different things, then say so and, as friends, learn to listen and respect that….or maybe don’t be surprised when your rather odd evening out invitation is declined.

Thankyou I will pass your advice on, along with mine x

Why go ?? Surely there’s better things she can do with her life than sit alone at a party I d rather watch TV with a bag of crisps and a bottle of cider ??

Way to go BlueBelle !! ?

Where are the other “girly friends” you mention? Are they off flitting about too? ?

The flighty friend is being very unkind to leave her sitting alone. I think I would just leave if I was left alone by the person I came with.

It sounds like there’s more ‘ girly friends’. How is she on her own? That aside...I wouldn’t bother going out. She just needs a taxi to take her, not a ‘ friend’.

Do you mean that she goes out a couple of nights a week with her friends, and one of those nights is with this particular friend?

If so, why does she keep going? It doesn't sound like an enjoyable night out at all. How old is she? It sounds like something a younger person might go along with, for the sake of being 'out enjoying herself'.
But as you get older most people are more selective about how they spend their free time and stop seeing being out anywhere as better than 'sitting in'.

Perhaps it helps her self -esteem to have all these girlie 'friends' waiting on her.
Or is there a man somewhere out there?

Well, if her friend enjoys socialising, then there is nothing wrong with that, in itself.
It would be a shame to go to a lively place and then feel obliged to sit with one person all evening.

I would give it a miss and have a glass of wine in the comfort of my own home.