Annoyed with dinner guest

@Summerfly don't be worried about serving veggie food to non-veggies, eating meat doesn't mean you can't eat veggie food, if you'd invited me for a meal I'd be [silently] disappointed if you'd cooked differently for me, I'd have been looking forward to a delicious veggie dish. I can see that if you had a meat-eating family for Christmas dinner that might possibly be a bit different, but even so, it would be lovely to share in your special dishes. Even when I go out for a curry with a veggie friend, I choose veggie dishes then we can share and sample each other's choices.

I would eat most food as prepared out of politeness even if I didn;'t like it but I would refuse foie gras even if that was all that was offered. I'd not make a song and dance about it just say I did not eat it.

When we were newly married my mother-in-law and a friend were coming for lunch one day. On the day three of them turned up, she said another friend wanted to come as well and she was sure I wouldn't mind!
Fortunately I'd made a pie, so we just had a smaller portion each. I did wonder what we'd have done if I'd served pork chops for instance and there weren't enough to go round ?

The opposite happened to us many years ago DS girl's parents invited us to "drinks and nibbles" at their vast converted barn (ahem)
At 6-7 on boxing Day. We had our usual 2 nd Christmas dins at lunchtime believing we'd be eating a buffet style supper.
NOPE! Got there at 5.45 to them saying hurry up the Curry's being served.....whaaaaaa!? Mahoosive turkey curry with all the breads popadoms etc and a steaming great bowl full dished up to all present(12) I waded my way through about a beans on toast sized amount then pushed it around as everyone got merry, apparently my DS got the message wrong by NOT LISTENING PROPERLY!! Felt so bad and rude ...never again.

I think that is just - not on. You have accepted an invitation and you honour that invitation unless you have a good reason not to (and grandchildren wanting you to eat with them instead is not a good reason!). I don't think I'd invite them again, myself.

Virtually same thing happened to us a few years ago.friends and their then 12 year old came over for dinner between Christmas and New year as they had for many years. I prepd lots of cheese and bix and other goodies bought a pizza specially for 2y o as we don't eat the stuff! When they arrived nothing said. Warmed bread etc set out food as we played games then........nobody ate a thing!! Talked a lot, pushed stuff around plates and kid bit one piece of pizza then disappeared into living room archingmovie whilst we grown ups played cards. Eventually after food left cold etc HE chirps zup that they'd been for an Italian meal that lunch with HER mum.....so you're all full as frogs?! I thought lividly! We've never done our soiree again and that was 6yrs ago I was so very annoyed/hurt/mad/insulted.

Very rude behaviour. The trouble is, people can't deal with any hunger pangs and feel the need to feed almost constantly.
If you have been invited to dinner, you don't eat beforehand.
But, I can remember some French friends inviting us for a New Year's meal. We hadn't eaten lunch and expected the meal to be around 8 o'clock. We were totally unprepared for the fact that the hostess intended to he meal to begin about 11.00 pm and finish at midnight. I could have eaten my own fingers, I was so hungry.

We once had a strange invitation. We hadn’t been in our house very long. The house opposite was empty, but the people moved in quite quickly after us.

One day, the man of the house came round and asked me and my husband if we’d like to go round for pre dinner drinks. We said that was lovely of them, but we didn’t know anyone in the area, and had no babysitter for our two young boys. He told us to bring them, it was no problem. Again, I said it would probably be too late for them to eat, and may not be suitable for them, as it was a dinner party. They were just 3, and 2 years old.

“ Oh,” he said, “ it’s not for the dinner...just the drinks beforehand “?.

To this day...I’ve never understood this. They were German, and we didn’t know if it was a cultural thing. They moved about a year later, but not before sending me a massive bouquet of beautiful flowers after I had my third baby.

A nice bit of chat! ‘Oh well, I won’t bother to dish up then if you’re not hungry and we’ll eat a bit later, after all I doubt you’ll want to stay long now if you’re full up! No, don’t worry, I can freeze what’s left so it won’t go to waste….In fact I’ll just go and sort it now…’ And be AGES in the kitchen (preferably with a stiff drink!) Then don’t ask them again and if ever involved in plans for a future occasion ‘But I thought you didn’t really DO dinner these days?’ Can’t stand thoughtlessness or blatant rudeness like this! Don’t put up with it-one can sometimes be TOO nice!

We have relatives who frequently arrived for lunch saying "oh the children were hungry, so they've just had McDonalds on the way". We don't invite them now .

This has happened to me lots of times in the past so now when I invite friends/family for a meal I put out a selection of things and say help yourself to what you want, then they can eat as much or as little as they want and I am not disappointed with them in any way.

Ladyleftoverfield.

I’m a vegetarian, but if I invite meat eaters to dinner, I don’t expect them to eat vegetarian, as I’m sure other vegetarians don’t.

murrec

Hi. I’m looking for winter duvet recommendations.

You need to post this on a separate thread, probably ‘House and Home’.

Hi. I’m looking for winter duvet recommendations.

Hi. I’m looking for winter duvet recommendations.

Well something I've picked up from this thread is the need to be very specific when inviting people over.
That being said, I can't understand why anyone would invite someone around for 'drinks' and then produce a 4 course meal.

But vaguely saying 'come over on Saturday about eight. It would be nice to catch up' is annoying as it leaves people wondering if they're being invited for a meal, a drink, coffee and cake, nibbles??

Reminds me of a time I misunderstood an invitation from a couple we did not know well. I thought it was for discussion of an amateur orchestra event my husband was arranging and coffee after dinner at 8 pm! We had a big curry before going and found that we had to sit down to a 3 course meal...........I remember hiding potato under a lettuce leaf. There is no way we would have said "no thanks, we have already eaten!".

I can understand it from the pov of the grandchildren asking her to eat with them, but surely she could have said, "Oh, I'll just have a spoonfull of yours as I'm on my way to my friends, who has been slaving away in her kitchen to make dinner for me!" And I'm sure the children would have understood!

I’ve often visited the chippy on the way home due to minute portions. Never would I have a meal before attending lunch/dinner.
Just don’t invite them again. Don’t be annoyed just think social
standards are definitely slipping.

Nobody, but nobody, who behaved like your guests did Skydancer, would remain my friend after that kind of behaviour. They would be off the speed dial list and the number blocked, their address exsponged from my Christmas card list, and wiped off my list of email contacts and their address blocked by the end of the day.

Skydancer
That was very rude, pretentious and patronising.

I'm sure your lunch was lovely.

Foodies? Pretentious food snobs.

Skydancer that is so so rude!!

My girlfriend, when I was a newly married, had a boyfriend who was a chef in a posh London hotel and was famed for his ice carvings and butter carvings etc.
Anyway they were coming to stay and I was very anxious.
I bought a saddle of lamb and spent ages on fancy recipes.
They arrived early! He was lovely. He showed me how to stuff the lamb and prepared it for the oven and was very complimentary about the food.
My friend said he was so grateful not to be cooking!

Disgusting! Don’t invite them again

Skydancer that's got to win the "most awful dinner party so far" award.
One of those situations where, looking back, you wish you'd fetched their coats and asked them to leave after the first insulting comment.

Skydancer How incredibly rude! I would never start interrogating my host about the sourcing of the meal and certainly wouldn't complain about it. I hope you won't be inviting them again.

Fortunately my oldest friend eats like a horse and I can always rely on her to eat whatever I serve up. DH was once caught out when we were first married because he always said people didn't cook big enough meals. We were going to a friend's for dinner and he insisted on having a meal before we left (so he didn't starve!) Our friends had cooked a lovely BIG meal and he had to sit there and eat the whole lot!