What have you finally made peace with?

Into every life a little rain must fall. One doesn’t really get to be our age without ‘something’ bad, sad, tragic or dreadful having happened along the way. Yes a few fortunate souls seem to enjoy a charmed life but I think the majority know pain, of one form or another, by our autumn years.

Mary?it’s so sad we didn’t know earlier these things about our mothers and the events that made them unwell.

Susan, that's exactly how I feel.
After she died, I found out from my cousin that she had a mental breakdown, when at eighteen her best friend died. She had planned to train as a pharmacist, but gave up on life.
Eventually my granny, sent her to train as a nurse to bring money into this poor Irish, mining family.
She eventually became a senior sister in a maternity hospital and then her best friend, another sister, dropped dead of a brain heamorrage in front of her. It blighted her whole life. She never shared this with me. No wonder she was unwell.

I think in common with many of you I have a difficult mother and as a consequence no relationship with my brothers or a lot of my extended family.
It has taken me a very long time but finally a few months ago I realised that nothing I can do and no amount of me being upset will change anything.
I feel at peace with how I have decided to live my life moving forward and am grateful for the friends and family I do have in my life.
Like Mary, I realise my mother is mentally unstable and that this and her upbringing have made her who she is.I will always be there for her but will not be hurt anymore.

I'm resigned to the fact that most of my life is behind me now. I'm going to enjoy what's left though and not waste time on regrets.

Oh I agree Urmstongran, but we tend to dwell on the negatives in our past rather than the positives - well I do anyway. Or did. I have decided to set myself free from all the things I cannot change & have absolutely no control over. No life is completely blemish free so I just try and enjoy what I have.

My parents favouring my brother over me, despite me doing everything to support them, both financially and caring for them, when my brother did nothing.
It has taken a lifetime to accept my mother was mentally ill, it wasn't my fault and I could do nothing about it.

I have made peace with my decision last year to not treat my husband's pneumonia, but to let him leave this life in peace.

A huge responsibility that has weighed heavy on my mind, in spite of the support for the decision that was forthcoming from family and professionals. Its being a right decision does not make it any easier to come to terms with. But I am there now I think and glad of that.

I’ve made peace with two major life altering events. So much water under the bridge since then it was time to ‘let it go’. If I wake in the middle of the night my mind sometimes suggests I give some headspace to them but I decline and think ‘no thank you’ and shut those doors mentally. Nothing I can ever do about anything now anyway so it’s best to keep the thoughts buried. What good does picking at a scab ever achieve?

I'm resigned to the fact that I will never communicate with my two younger siblings after 20+ yrs I feel sad about it but two against one just doesn't work.
The fact that my darling late husband will never walk through the door again and say "Hello my Queen do you fancy a cup of tea" I now know I shall never hear his lovely voice again.

Like Froglady, it doesn’t consume us in any way. In fact it’s been good riddance.

We were estranged from all extended family, both sides, completely for last 20 years. The previous 25 had been a cocktail of ups and downs.

So...we never really had mothers input,

never had any relationship with siblings,

So will never know their offspring,

I’m sure your hair is just fine VioletSky ?

I have some in common with you. Lovely thread idea

I won't have a relationship with my estranged brother.

I can't have a kind loving mother.

Not everyone is going to like me.

I'm stuck with ridiculous uncontrollable hair.

I don't think I've made peace with anything in my past that I've regretted - they don't consume my every waking moment but they still have the capacity to stop me in my tracks when I remember them. This is probably because I've never learnt to deal with them, just bottle them all up. And most of them are way in my past, over 40 plus years ago, so I just recognise when they come to haunt me again and then get on my life.