Engagement rings and choices

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Hubby didn't present me with an engagement ring. It didn't matter in the slightest.

He presented me with a small crystal shoe, asking me to marry him - a bit similar to Cinderella (bearing in mind that I have very small feet but not that small).

It was unique and his way of proposing. I gladly accepted.

The wedding rings were different and look beautiful without an engagement ring. Inside each small diamond-like area sits a ruby.

What mattered the most was DH's love for me, and that is what has carried us through some difficult times.

When my Uncle heard I was to be engaged he found a beautiful second hand solitaire and bought it for my approval, he then offered to let my fiance to pay for it over three months. I’m still wearing it 50 years later - it survived our divorce. My
DD has staked claim to it before I die and, DGD (8) has put her name on the waiting list already!

I inherited what had been my great grandmother's engagement ring with three beautiful stones - years after I was married. I had precious memories of her and the whole family - so, rather than keep it in a box hidden away, had the stones set into a necklace I could wear.

I gave the necklace to my daughter before she married. She and my son in law designed and had made a modern engagement ring of their choice and favoured style using the stones.

One way of valuing family history - and also having a bit more money to spend on a new home!

I seem to be one of the few gransnetters to say I'd have loved having a family heirloom as my engagement ring. I think it's a lovely gesture and can't imagine disliking an old family ring that meant something special to my fiance.

I wouldn't wear a ring I hated and people who pass on family engagement rings are cheapskates. If I were getting engaged I would want a brand new ring for me. I don't want castoffs.

We were 21 and 19 when we got engaged and poor as church mice.
This was in 1957.
We chose a ring together which cost £22:50.
Sadly I lost it many years later and we never insured it as it didn’t seem worth it.
Fortunately the marriage lasted over 60 years before my H died two years ago.

So he thought she was"ungrateful"?! Whew!! Well dodged that lass! Sounds like a right one! I wouldn't wear a ring I didn't like either, rather not wear anything

Thank you everyone for your views. Mr J and I chose my engagement ring together and like you Helen657 it was modest as we were saving for a house too. Some Ladies that I know have updated their wedding rings and engagement rings over the years, this is not something I would do and I still wear my original rings to this day.

I’m not sure I’d have wanted to wear someone else’s ring - I’d have to have really loved it?
DH & I chose my ring together, he willingly paid but we were both broke & saving for a house deposit so it’s very modest. He bought me an eternity ring for our 10th anniversary (or rather he gave me the cash & told me to get one, lol) & then knowing I’d always wanted an emerald dress ring, did the same for our 30th anniversary last year, luckily my cousin married a fab independent jeweller so he designed both rings with my input.
Haven’t worn my engagement or wedding rings for donkeys years, but I adore the other 2 and wear them every waking moment!

Whilst appreciating the sentiment of an heirloom I'm glad I picked my own ring

My boyfriend having just done his PGCE got offered his first teaching job, which included being a Housemaster. The school didn't allow unmarried couples to live together so we arranged a wedding within six weeks (had to be at the registry office for 9.00am; the only free slot). No time for an engagement ring and no money either, both of us having been students we had debts up to our ears. We went to Earnest Jones and bought the cheapest gold wedding ring they had for £25. I lost it twelve years ago when cleaning out my Labrador puppies' play pen/ nest. If you've ever had a look at what eight Lab pups produce overnight when they're seven weeks old you'll understand why I didn't trawl through the binbag looking for it! DH said we'd replace it but we never found the right ring. Swollen fingers now preclude the wearing of one anyway. At least the marriage has lasted longer than the ring haha (41 years).

I woudnt like someone elses engagement ring not as an engagement ring, maybe a dress ring, but I think the couple should choose together.
I agre with others, poor Duchesss of Cambridge having to wear Dianas ring, considering the circumstances how it was given, from a deceased person in tragic circumstances,it makes me shudder.

My ring was vintage and very pretty. I really loved it and only stopped wearing it when we got divorced. Gave it to my daughter, who wore it for years and then lost it.

I wouldn't want to wear a ring that had belonged to someone else.

OH and I chose my engagement ring together and jointly paid for it. We were only engaged for a month before our wedding and OH wasn’t sure an engagement ring was necessary! He bought my wedding ring. He liked rings with patterns on so that’s what we got. Years later I had to have my wedding ring cut off after a shoulder injury. The jeweller melted it down, added a bit more gold and made me a new ring. I chose not to have it patterned so it’s smooth!

I wouldn’t have wanted to wear it for the rest of my life if it wasn’t to my taste. I inherited my mother’s engagement ring and wedding ring and my grandmothers wedding ring. The engagement ring was not to my taste, it was also slightly big. I had all 3 rings fashioned into a new ring in a modern setting which I wear all the time so it’s the best of both worlds.

Our youngest DS recently planned a holiday on a Greek island with his girlfriend, after dinner as the sun set he got down on one knee and proposed. She was surprised and delighted, with both the gesture and the ring he had had made for her. So romantic

We had very little spare money so I had an inexpensive dress ring as an engagement ring and DH bought me a pretty one later on which I have just found I can no longer get on because of arthritis. All rings will be spread out round the AC and GC and they can do what they want with them.

I did get to pick my engagement ring. If I hadn't had one I wouldn't had minded too much . We both worked hard and money wasn't available for things that were not necessary. I would have married him anyway engagement or otherwise.

I agree.
It must mean a lot to him, I would think.

I think it is a very loving thing that Kate is doing by wearing Diana's ring. It presumably makes William happy.

MissAdventure

Poor old Kate.
It's desperately sad to have to wear that £30000 ring.
Not sure on my noughts there.
Poor woman.

??

I gave my son a very valuable ring which I had inherited to give his girlfriend if she accepted his proposal. I made it very plain that if she didn't like it, they could have it remodelled. She loved it and when they split up some years later, kept it. My head tells me that I gave the gift freely and ownership passed to her but my heart.....

Judy 54, I'd have responded exactly as you did! I wouldn't wear a ring that I didn't like.
When we met, DH & I had little spare cash; I only had an engagement ring because it's a lovely one, left to me by my Grandma. (I never really wanted to be "engaged"- just married!) Some years into our marriage, DH bought me a pretty ring, which I wear for "best". He wanted to make up for not buying me an engagement ring, which (IMO) was a beautiful & thoughful gesture. We're still together, nearly 40 years later.

I would have accepted it, as it was family heirloom, but not wore it, as I don’t think it’s right wearing somebody else’s ring. I would instead have saved the money for two wedding rings we both liked.