To see ourselves as others see us! How do you think others see you?

Grandmabatty you have just described me

Others see me as fat, lazy and desperate to please, and yes my elder sister is my honest feedback and tries to change me...I was a teacher, and have 3 degrees, including a Masters; but since an op went wrong and I was forced into disability benefits people treat me very differently.

I find my opinion on anything is argued against by everyone apart from my son, people talk slowly and clearly as if I wouldn't understand otherwise and I'm tired of it. I do as much voluntary work as I am able, but relatively frequently have to withdraw so feel unreliable which just isn't me...

A friend I admire once told me she envied my confidence- that's something I never knew I had!

Impossible to know really but I often think people might see me as aloof or unfriendly because basically I'm shy and find it difficult to join in things on my own.

Well I was Recently called a "stupid old woman" by someone(young male) who went on to ask where my husband was because he was going to follow me home and kick my head in! All for asking him to stop vandalising a chestnut tree! What have police done? Zilch! Unless I had a picture of him, .......pathetic. I keep thinking he did beat a hasty retreat when I shouted back at him that we'll all go back to his and see what his missus thinks of that?(he had a toddler with him, thoroughly disgusting).... Maybe he thinks differently now? I'll never know

nan7836
Comfort yourself with the fact that the whole of the human race is odd in smaller or larger degrees.

When at work and managing 22 staff of all ages and abilities but mainly female I was assessed as being firm but fair which I thought was reasonable. Was interested to learn though that the view of males who I did not have to directly supervise, only when my male boss was off or out the building was that I was absolutely terrific, understood their issues and able to work out a solution together. I always thought the females were constantly bickering and trying to better one another. Had I not been somewhat firm and a bit detached chaos would have reigned.Not only can different people have different views of you, different genders do too I would say.

I think people see me as quite soft and laid back. If someone upsets me they get a real shock as I can stand up very forcefully for myself.

Interesting how some have said they're different in different environments. I'm the same in all situations. Obviously, there are places where I don't go on about my opinion, but I always express it, even if it isn't popular. I've stood up to work place bullies on behalf of others, even when it turned the bullying on me. Actually, I've done this several times. Twice, recently.

I'm not overtly rude to those I dislike, but I will stop contact with them, and if at work, minimise it as much as possible.

Maybe that is why I make friends so easily. I stand up for the underdog and I'm not two-faced. I'm also very kind and supportive, BUT if someone abuses that, they don't get a 2nd chance. And many people try to.

It's that old saying, isn't it? Don't mistake my niceness for weakness.

I was also bereaved last year, and I think people assume I am "getting over it". Of course I am still grieving and don't think I will ever come to terms with being alone, but like you say, don't want to bring others down with my misery, so put on a brave face.

I seem to attract chatterboxes - as I'm not one. But so much goes on inside my head. Nobody really knows me and I think I probably come across totally differently to how I really am. However, I will say that I do bear grudges and can't let some things go. Unfortunately the people concerned don't know that either. I don't really like confiding in people unless I can totally trust them so probably come across as distant.

It's easy to misinterpret how people come across. I have always lacked self esteem, confidence and have never felt as good as other people. One person described me as 'stuck up and aloof' because I found it difficult to join in certain things. If only they knew!

I am scary…mmm I have been told that often enough. I am a goer and into lots of fundraising activities, etc.
I don’t want to be scary but it’s likely anyone who puts their head above the parapet meets opposition. I bet Florence Nightingale was scary.
I know I am not a team player…but I have been told that I am good looking and well dressed…but I still don’t want to be seen as scary.

I’ve always wondered if others see me as a bit odd and that has plagued me all my life. A colleague once described me as quirky when we were having a similar conversation, I guessed that was a kind way of saying odd. I certainly wouldn’t dare ask for an honest opinion. I have a friend who revels in being different but I just yearn to be one of the gang!

Luckygirl3

People see me as competent and coping well after bereavement last year - it is all a front - inside, grief stalks my every waking moment. But what is the point in inflicting that on others? - so the act continues..........

Luckygirl13 I'm sorry it's been such a bad year for you. As for acting, I was once 'told act as if' and eventually you will no longer be acting as it will become your reality. Hope that eventually you will find a way to live with the grief.

I would rather hide behind the sofa than answer this one.

I don’t give a monkey nut for others views on me. I don’t interfere with other peoples lives and don’t appreciate interference from others.

I’m seen as stoical, efficient and a bit Miss Moneypenny. Until my 40s I was a bit of a doormat who did everything asked of me! Then I became assertive and learnt to say ‘no’ to stuff I didn’t really want to do! In real life I’m 5 feet two and a half inches tall, overweight and apparently have a young face. In fact someone recognised me at a reunion do this week. They hadn’t seen me for 40 years but said my face was the same!

I think people who know me well see me as reliable and straight talking, practical and sensible, but rather over cautious, a bit pedantic and possibly annoying because I fuss and nag a bit. The neighbours probably think I'm a bit unfriendly and rather weird.

I see myself as a complete mess, physically and emotionally, and suspect others do too.

Very interesting reading all your comments. I have always been seen as a shoulder to cry on, a leader, confident and well versed!! What I see is a not very confident person hiding behind my.personal brick wall so that no-one can see my insecurities!! Am really quite shy, love talking to people - if they make the first move - but, because of my late husband's occupation, had to put my 'brave' face on to entertain others and make them feel comfortable. Since becoming a widow I have had to learn to leave the brick wall behind!

My daughter has told me that I can be seen as scary (which upset me a bit). I know I dig my heels in if I know I'm right about something which has caused problems in the past. Interestingly, I watched the Paddy McGuiness programme last night about autism where his wife discovered that she, as well as their three children, has autism. Bells rang for me with what she was saying so I hunted down and did the test afterwards and got the same score as she did. I wonder if this explains why I've always struggled to make and keep friends? Do people see me so differently to how I see myself? Who knows!

i see myself as kind and caring, i will help anyone even strangers but not bother to look after myself. i have had cancer twice in 3 years last one was back in september (vulvar cancer) and choose to have all my lymph nodes in my groin removed not knowing if they were cancerous, my mum said she was so proud of me, others said i was so brave to put myself through this....me i just thought it was something i had to do, the first time everyone was crying and worrying....me no choice, doctor gave me 6 months without operation, people see the outside me but the real me was so scared but put a smile on my face, this last one was harder as i lost my partner a week after i was told i had cancer, he was already dying so i had nobody to talk to. some people see me as stand-offish but thats because i am shy and quiet till i start talking. i don't think anybody even a partner/husband really knows what is deep inside another person as we learn as we get older to put the right front on.

I love that poem 'To a Louse' by Robert Burns where this quote originates. I've been many incarnations and have found that how I dress or appear always colours others opinions of me, and yet inside I'm just the same. I think it has some weight to it. Our church leader told the story of when a homeless person with ragged clothes walked into his church and he was immediately ejected for being too shabby.
I try to look for the person inside. In the words of the late singer-songwriter Gerry Rafferty: 'Whatever's written in your heart, that's all that matters. We'll find a way to say it all some day.'

Maine52..... I think yuv just described me.... ???... But i dont take it personally anymore... I just think... Yu know what... Thats theyre problem....