To see ourselves as others see us! How do you think others see you?

I have a good sense of humour people see me as kind and considerate and have difficulty in saying no to helping people, therefore am played on at times, I know. I am a bit bossy, obstinate, have a good deal self confidence, but at certain times lack this.I am a born worrier and age hasnt improved this, I am awake at night thinking things over and worrying about things I cant do anything about. I wonder what people realy think about me, best not to know!

In the words of Robbie Burns 'Oh would some Power give us the gift, To see ourselves as others see us'. I think most of us would be horrified if we did have that gift.. I think many of us have sides that no-one sees except ourselves. I imagine people see me as outgoing and confident. But in reality I worry about what people think of me, and I often analyse what I have said to friends in case I have inadvertently said something which has upset them.

Talkative, very. Still think I am attractive, Loyal - two way street, I have many friends who are extremely long term and close, even back to early childhood. Able to go to to moan, let of steam etc. Creative. Outgoing. Sometimes kind, sometimes pithy. Flaky but warm. Sting in my tail. Funny and fun. Tough. Don't suffer fools gladly.

I believe I am seen as short, fat, doddery and old - I see myself as a lithe 30 something with lovely flowing locks - such a shock when I pass a mirror!!

Just been on the phone to M&S store and website and I could easily be described as Mrs Grumpy now.

Confident, loud, fun, loyal and honest sometimes too honest! I have been told and pretty much that is how l see myself.

I wrote a novel about a 34 stone woman whose inner slim self becomes magically released. People love it because they can identify with having a slim person inside.
As for the way folk see me: I hear nice things but have no idea what 'they' say behind my back. I like to think that, above all, I'm kind. I believe that two wrongs don't make a right, so I'm still kind even when maybe I don't want to be!
Book is called: Dying To Be Slim. Not trying to do a sales pitch but thought some GNers might ask.

Everyone tells me stoic I am, (coping with numerous long term illnesses), and how amazingly caring I am. They also always say how active and well turned out I always am. That's because I never leave the house without making an effort, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My late Mum before me was the same. Thing is - people don't see me on the 'not so good' days!!

Good on you Meryl. It’s only recently I feel able to speak out although I avoid arguments.

It’s interesting that so many of us hide our real selves from public view and project an image that isn’t the real us. I metaphorically put my hat on in social circumstances and do the ‘right thing’. I find socialising in large groups rather intimidating so generally avoid if possible. Most people have little idea how much it isn’t me.

Urmstongran
Your mention of queue jumping
I actually spoke up for someone else the other day.
I was in a queue and was aware of the lady behind me. She was keeping her distance. Before you know it someone filled the space between us.
She stood there looking a bit sheepish so I said to her you were in that place weren’t you Queue jumper looked at me and she got ‘the look’. The lady resumed her place in the queue. ?

I am often asked to take leadership roles which is a bit of a joke because I used to be so shy I would blush all the time and never speak out. These days I actually enjoy public speaking and making people laugh. People tell me their problems all the time, I don’t really know why though I used to be a counsellor at one time so maybe old habits die hard?

I am kind and non judgmental. I have a confident streak but a difficult childhood has made me anxious and I think I may come across as diffident. I have a few good friends who see me but I often feel invisible and I attract people who want to unload their problems. I imagine they think I'm a good listener, which I am, but I have my limits.

I have no idea how others see me, and I’m not sure I want to know! I try to be nice to everybody, but I am basically quite judgemental. I am not sociable, loathe parties and so on. This is not shyness, but boredom. I am fairly confident, but have no idea whether that comes across or not.

I am a kind, soft hearted person who always thinks of everyone else before myself. I hurt easily and tend to take everything personally

Sounds exactly like ne

A neighbour recently told me that when she first met me (17 years ago) she knew I was self-assured. How wrong she's been all these years - I worry about most things, over-think everything, analyse every conversation. I obviously hide it well.

My friends tell me Im a leader, quietly confident, easy to approach and able to sort out problems. Im really not I worry about everything. I dont regognised that in myself.
My family know me better and say I need to speak up and be heard im a follower. They're right.
Give me a book, a quiet room and im happy.

Well there's a thought. IMO I have always cared and supported family and friends. Yet have been treated very badly by both. so I guess these people certainly never saw me as I saw myself.

I am confident, find it easy chatting with new acquaintances and am lucky in that I have many friends - both here and in Spain (my half & half life). I like to think I’m self aware and mindful of how people are feeling. I listen properly, concentrate and can then remember details of family members and where they are up to in my friend’s lives.

But I hate confrontation. For instance I like all my family to get on well together and it upsets me whenever there is (occasional) discord. I am rubbish at speaking up (in a queue for example if someone pushes in) as it embarrasses me. I don’t know why this is so, considering I’m confident?

I am seen as jolly and good for a laugh. I'm not, it's all put on as a way of coping in company. What I am really is a loner who doesn't really enjoy socialising. I am only fully relaxed on my own reading in silence.

I think that the people that come across me think that I am capable, organised and can make things happen.
I only wish I had their confidence.??‍♀️

Gagajo Your post struck a cord with me. As well as all my faults listed above, I am miserable and unhappy. I too have lots of ex colleagues who keep in touch regularly.

My daughter told me her friends think I’m scary ? I’ll take that.
She’s always telling my granddaughter not to argue or get lippy with nana because you won’t win. ? She’s right there.

Probably that I'm loud, funny and passionate with a tendency to be tactless. Pretty much how I see me.

I don't know. It's odd. I think I'm bossy, unfriendly and grumpy. This is confirmed by my DD and my bloke.

And yet. I have no problem making friends. People seem to like me and I don't know why. Where ever I work, I collect friends who stay in touch with me.