To see ourselves as others see us! How do you think others see you?

I can only base my idea of how other people see me on what has been said to me at various times - and like most I remember the nice things and forget the less than kind (though probably most accurate).

I know that I have always been seen as a bit of an oddity. When I was at school, one of the teachers (we never did discover which) did a quotation for every girl in the O level year. Mine was 'Never genius without tincture of madness'. Not that I was an academic high flyer, I wasn't. I was perceived as clever but my schoolwork didn't reflect this. Mainly, I think, because, as I now know, I am mildly dyspraxic and my handwriting looked as if a drunken spider had been let loose on the page and was indecipherable.

Later on DS commented, in his teenage years, that 'He was glad he had eccentric parents', which came as a surprise to us, we thought we were very conventional. At later date he said that he was glad he had non-materialistic parents. Again not something we were aware of.

However the description I most treasure is when someone I respect described me as 'deeply subversive', which goes back to being seen as a bit of an oddity, with which I am entirely comfortable.

Mom? I had no idea you were on gransnet @Merylstreep. I thought you were doing the decorations today

That's a shame Dabi as they are a great company to work for and work how best to train you wrt results from these tests

I recently applied to Iceland on a part time basis. They had me undergo a whole battery of personality tests. The results astonished me. I did not pursue the job further as I suddenly lost interest in working for them. But I did get some useful information to work on myself from.

I think that some people see me as a bit standoffish, really it is the fact that I am quiet in some situations and weigh things up before wading in. I can also be very direct and not very tactful.

This was a response to GreenGran78 - must try and get on top of posting correctly. But in response to many of the posts here, I do feel that many of us successfully hide insecurities beneath a confident exterior. We also often successfully hide them from ourselves...

I’m seen as a bit of a snob……….which is probably true.

I'm just waiting for someone to say they are seen as a nasty old bi. Would they even know it? Probably not. I've met a few, though.

Blooming predictive text....
Not really 'bossy per se- not 'noisy'

Back in the days when I was working (about 11yrs ago) I was working in the NHS and the then Prime Minister said the NHS didn't need the Health Authorities so we were shut down.
For a bit of fun, we had a team leaving party and we did our "Fake Oscars" with silly categories like 'most prim and proper', 'nicest team member' etc.
I was flabbergasted to find myself winning the award for 'bossiest team member' and showed my disdain as I went to collect my cardboard Oscar.
Fortunately, when we voted, we had to say 'why' we were choosing our specified person for said category and winners were given the list of reasons along with their Oscar.
Two of my votes came with notations from a senior colleague and my boss, saying:
"She's not really noisy per se but if she didn't keep on telling me I was filling in forms and expenses incorrectly, is have been in big trouble or never received my expenses - thank you for 'bossing' me about them"
And
"I've always considered her to be my rottweiler, she's kept everyone else at bay because she knows how to do not only her own job but mine too and could deal with anything anyone threw at her, this allowing me to do my job unhindered".
So, the moral of my story was that as much as I was 'labelled' in our awards as 'bossy', it was meant with love and gratitude because there wasn't a more appropriate titled award on offer.
Ultimately, I have cherished that award and still have both the cardboard Oscar and the certificate with people's reasons for voting on the back, stashed away somewhere safe.

I have zero interest in what other people think of me, barring my husband, certainly not anything I would be losing sleep over! Looking for validation from others is the road to perdition.

I fully understand. Everyone thought I was coping after I lost my husband. Whenever anybody asked how I was I’d just smile and say fine thanks. People only have so much sympathy and they don’t really want to hear how awful you’re feeling and how much you cry. Hope things improve for you. It takes time but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Xxx

A free spirit, a hippy, is how my children describe me. I totally agree. It seems to draw people to me though I don't understand why.

Boz I only lack confidence in my looks,I left school at 15 and had my own business at 21 ,had 3 businesses running by my 30's so no problem with my ability .I went to an all girls school too ,but the nuns thought we should all be teachers or nurses or dedicate our lives to god...none of those appealed to me at all .
My mother was very image conscious when she was just days from death she told me not to wear trousers when I visited as I was too fat for them ...I was a size 10 !!It sticks though an dyou believe it because its your mother saying it

One of my younger relatives had boyfriends from her mid-teens onwards. When she was in her early twenties she told me that she’d made a marvellous discovery - she’d decided what her favourite music style was! Up until then she had simply gone along with ‘liking’ whatever the current boyfriend liked.

I think most people behave differently depending who they are with. We are taught to mirror the person we speak with to get the best out of them in business, I think this becomes ingrown in us so we do it even in our personal lives. Some people never get to know who they really are, it takes a strong person to feel at easy with them-self in their own body.

I like to believe people see me as bohemian, but they really see me as eccentric!

I like to believe people see me as bohemian, but they really see me as eccentric!

Well, I've never really considered how people who don't know me very well feel about me. Not my problem. But my friends and family are ultra important. I try to do the best I can in whatever I do, but I sometimes get it wrong. But I do try, and generally I feel loved and appreciated by my friends and family. I cannot ask for more than that.

quite a few of my closest friends say to me they wish they were like me because i don't care about what other people think of me

It's not strictly true though but I have no control over it, so I just try to not let it bother me (therapy after abuse from a parent may have helped, may not have)

Be yourself you'll meet people like you?

My Mum is like this. She has schizoid personality disorder (nothing to do with schizophrenia!) It's a blessing really because she never feels anything too deeply - bad or good emotions - and wouldn't have it any other way. She's 94 and fit in body and mind. I believe this is partly because she simply doesn't get anxious, angry or upset about anything. She lives as we all tell her, in a contented pink bubble. When my Dad died she accepted it and moved calmly on with life.

Friends have always described me as spiritual and caring. One describes me as very calm. Another said she could not imagine me ever losing my temper or getting angry. Another says I am quirky...hahaha

I think I'm quite a strong person but always try and treat everyone equally. The young woman who works for me says I treat her as a colleague but other people are under no illusions that I am her boss. I don't treat her like that on a day to day basis, I hope, but I know the buck stops here. On the other hand, a friend whom I've know for nearly 25 years, and have never had a cross word with, said I give out 'just don't mess with me vibes'. Not something I'm really conscious of.

I'm not sure I want to hear other people's true opinions. I've been told that I appear "educated and stand-offish" - but whenever there is a tricky situation, other people ask me to "step in" as I am assertive! My husband leaves most things to me, from dealing with "officialdom (Doctors/Hospitals/Solicitors/Tradespeople)" to the Post and "what to make for meals". I am not confident at meeting other people, and prefer small groups. Like others who have already posted - I am happy with a book, a quiet room and my cats!

I blame both kitty. Well, my sheltered upbringing rather than anything specifically negative from my parents.

People seem to see me as confident, outgoing, capable and never thrown by life. The reality is often the exact opposite, it always has been. I think I was better able to overcome it (act!) when working, I was aware of my capability and had much positive feedback. I’m also told I’m seen as kind and considerate, certainly try to be.