Childhood embarrassing moments/damages [confused]

My older DS was appearing as a shepherd in the playgroup nativity play. We took little brother up to the balcony in the church to get a good view. The shepherds trooped on with their sheep and, before their song began, small DS stood up on his seat and yelled in ringing tones: 'Shut your cake hole, H*****'. That's what came of watching Basil Brush.

With a sister in law and nephew of maybe 9 in the car, we were playing I spy.
Nephew said ‘I spy with my little eye, something very old and wrinkly.’
It was my elbow! ?

When I was about three we were taken to the seaside by richer family friends in their brand new car. Four of us in the back seat so I was sitting on mum's knee. I'd never been in a car before so we didn't know I was car-sick until I threw up all over the seat in front. I'd had apple and blackberry pie for lunch and the vomit was an interesting shade of purple. I don't think we were ever invited again.

I saw a YouTube clip with a youngster in nappies. She'd got hold of mummy's sanitary towels, undid all the backings, and had plastered the door with them - to 'fix' the door!

When I was a young child of 7 or 8 my mother took me to a ballet matinee. In the interval we went to the Ladies’ loo, where there was a slot machine selling sanitary towels. I thought these were probably nice hygienic towels for drying your hands, and pestered my mother (very audibly) to buy one. She was very embarrassed, and whispered that she would explain when we got home. I think nowadays people wouldn’t be so embarrassed, but this was in the 1940s.

??? Poor you Georgesgran!

Both my DDs are dyslexic. One night after school we popped into a local Asda and the younger pointed at some loin chops and said it was disgusting to eat lions. As I was explaining the difference the elder daughter held a turkey aloft and shouted down the aisle at the top of her voice that they were selling bastard turkeys. I was mortified - they were, of course, basted!

I love these! So I'm not the only one to have embarrassed my parents.? Oh the innocence of children and 'out of the mouths of babes'.

We were hard up when I was a child - and my parents struggled to pay the bills but my mum always kept us smart and tidy. It was my 6th birthday and I was called up the the front of the school assembly while everyone sang happy birthday to me. Then The headteacher asked me to tell everyone what I’d had for my birthday. So I said I got this dress from the club - meaning the tick man - who you paid so much a week for what you bought. I went home and told my mum about the school assembly and how they’d sung happy birthday to me and that I’d told them what I’d been bought and that it was from the club - my mum went mad and said you mustn’t tell them that!
I learnt a lesson in keeping our family business private - even though probably most people in our street used the Club or the tick man

Oh I don't know if I should share this...

There was a popular song when my son was little that he was obsessed with. He also liked to make up his own lyrics.

The chorus was:

What's that coming over the hill, is it a monster, is it a monster..

Well, he extremely loudly, and in the middle of sainsburys substituted "the hill" with "my mum" and the disapproving looks I got...

When I was about 5 my mother took me to stay with my godmother. An old friend of her's came to tea one day, an elderly lady we had never met before. I gazed at her in amazement and said "You've got BLUE hair!!!" My mother nearly died but fortunately the friend thought it was hilarious.

TwinLolly, one Christmas, my whole family went to stay with an uncle, my father's brother.

We three kids woke very early (as usual, about 5 am) on Christmas morning, then, having 'done' the stockings on our beds, we ransacked the house, looking for our presents, as, strangely, they were not under the tree.

We found them eventually in another bedroom, ripped them open and played with all our toys. Big mistake, apparently, as our cousins were horrified. In their house, stockings were for after breakfast - and presents after dinner! I remember refusing to say sorry and sulking for ages.

When I was young our family were returning to Manchester from Blackpool on a bus. It was dark outside, raining, all the upstairs windows were streamed up. Passengers upstairs were smoking. I’ve set the scene.

I desperately needed a wee. After what (to me) seemed a lifetime my mum led me off the bus. All the passengers quietly waiting, coughing, sighing (probably) for our return back up deck.

Apparently as we returned to our seats I said in a loud voice ‘I did a wee Daddy and Mummy did one too!”.

When my almost 3 yearold was being toilet trained and would only stand up like daddy ,he used to tell everyone who would listen that daddy had an "enormous willy and he shakes it shake shake shake" accompanied by actions,several of our friends bought daddy willie grooming kits that christmas

My 8yo granddaughter caused a similar embarrassment recently. My son & family were visiting friends when my GD and another child accidentally banged heads. The boy went ‘Ouch’ and rubbed his head, while my granddaughter began spraying profuse amounts of blood everywhere from a large cut on her forehead which required nearly a dozen stitches! The friends’ cream carpet will probably never be the same again. ?