A Very Argy Christmas

Will there be turkey and Christmas pud in the pasty muse?
Sounds like the ideal bar food for The Argy.....may we order six dozen and see how they go?
Thor has gone for a lie down in my boudoir, he says he needs to give his hammer a rest.
Tom will be singing in the bar on Friday night ( it’s not unusual) and requests that ladies stop throwing their voluminous bloomers at him.George will be here too, on duty at the Nespresso machine and we have installed a brand new
( well, it was in 1955) juke box. Three plays for sixpence.

?Tom in his swimming togs. Pass the smelling salts please.
Now we've located Tom and the drinks are getting sorted, how about the food supplies.

Muse Mansion Mess hut currently has a odd lovely aroma. Chef Rob wants me to taste the new 'Christmas dinner in one' pasty. See you later.

OK ladies I'm sending Thor back ? i can assure you he is worth waiting for...his sprout boiling is second to none ?‍? hohoho

You will need to get in the queue for the rubbing down.

It's always me Maddy and I am so used to poteen now that it has no effect.
You can have a session with Thor who helps with the brewing.

Can I volunteer to rub Tom down with the grease?

Who’s actually making the poteen today? I need a person who can stand up long enough to teach me.

Poor you grandmabatty. Hope you feel better now. Just stick to poteen in future.

Tom said he is swimmig the channel over Christmas with his over 80s club. He is doing it for charity. I don't know who Charity is but I'm jealous.
He said he may pop in and give us a rendition of "it's not unusual" after he has done the swim back.

I shall be waiting Calistemon.
Meanwhile I shall amuse myself by learning how to make poteen.

maddyone

I’m talking about the spare Admiral that Calistemon’s got. She doesn’t want him.

He's fast asleep under the bar, can't you hear him snoring?

He might perk up later, it's a bit earlie in the morning for him, he had the middle watch

I'm wondering whether the Sprout liqueur is the reason I had a nasty sickness bug? Might be best to leave it out and just have alcohol instead. I want to know if Tom Jones is coming. We had such fun the last time.

What happened to Thor? He looks like a limp lettuce this morning.
As there is no poteen left after last night I will have to get brewing and I have had to shove Thor into the comfy old armchair with a brandy to recover so no help there.
The llamas are in a similar state.

I’m talking about the spare Admiral that Calistemon’s got. She doesn’t want him.

Me. I’ll have him. There’s a queue for Thor, so I may as well make use of him instead. Is he of any use? Can he boil sprouts? What’s he good at?

Maw
Mollygo. Don’t worry about it. The poteen hits quickly. If you’re lucky you’ll fall on someone well padded. ?

I’d love to try the poteen. It’ll make a change from the Bison Grass Vodka. Is there somewhere to rest whilst the effects wear off?

I brought my very dear friend, the Admiral. He's in high spirits!
Full of pink gin and a Yo ho ho (I hid the bottle of rum)

What shall I do with a drunken sailor? Anyone want him?

I might have to ca’ canny at the Christmas Argy after my recent experience…….

Count me in Doodle. Wake Me Up Before You Go go and I'll be there.

Ah there you are muse I was just wondering when you would be in. Are you up for a few karaoke hits later.
Ah yes the sprout saga was before your time. Those of us who witnessed it have never forgotten. ??

Thanks for opening up Lemon. I thought I’d never make it back.
Santa has agreed to come on the condition the llamas pretend to be the reindeer. Rudolf has called the others out on strike because they want the Christmas holidays off work.
Thank you for the kind offer Grandmabatty but I think I’ll give the sprout cocktail a miss. I remember only too well the phantom pregnancy and the resulting explosion. Poor Chewy had to put all her sewage worker skills to use in clearing up the mess.
Brook the decorations look lovely. Superb job. Lots of balloons. Why have they all got ‘ribbed’and ‘super strength’ written on them ?
AGA I can smell the poteen from here. Wonderful. Make mine a double please.
Nice to see you Aveline. Make sure you sit close to the spittoon until you get used to the poteen. It is very potent stuff. As for Thor, yes he is very much obsessed with sustainable wood. I believe he takes tablets for it.
Hello Bridie good idea to get Thor before Grannygravy gets him. He’s never much use after.

Looks like you've and a few cocktails already Doodle.

Glad I'd not read that sprout tale earlier lemongrove. It was sprouts for dinner tonight at muse mansion. I always have a pan on the boil this time of year.

I'll definitely try a glass or two of that fine liquor Grandmabatty.

By ‘eck Doodle that expensive plastic surgery has done wonders for you!

Help, help
?❄️❄️ it’s me Doodle . I’ve been to Lapland to find Santa and bring him back for our Christmas Grotty. Santa’s elves made me into a giant snowball. ?

Not too sure about that GrandmaBatty .....and here is the reason.Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin....’twas a dark and stormy night when a certain Argy regular who told us that she was expecting octuplets ( courtesy of a Scottish Santa) realised that it was her ‘time’ and staggered down to the cellar where we had made her a very large nest in a king size duvet.We were all happily chatting and drinking up in the bar, when a terrible explosion occurred! When the dust cleared and we clawed our way out from under several wooden beams, our friend from the cellar appeared, now slim and in tattered clothes with a foul green miasma all around her.
She hadn’t been preggers at all, it was all the fault of several bad sprouts apparently.
This is a true tale, and many Argy regulars are still traumatised by it!