A Very Argy Christmas

Ooh wait for me brook I love a good conga, now let me just join in here between Mike the Magnificent and his pal Ivor. You remember Ivor don’t you Lemon Ivor Biggun from Pigs Trotter Alley.

Another big thank you from me (also curtsying) I’ve never been nominated for anything before, never mind a gong.
All your outfits are spectacular, but I do like the one I got for Bjorn. I managed to get another two so Sven and Thor have got one each too.
I didn’t bother with one for the Admiral, I’m not sure sure he could cope with all the woman handling he’d attract, from all those ladies crowds down Pigstrotter Lane.
Right heave ho me beauties, time to crack on with that excellent poteen. I do like the poteen fountain brook.

Happyme ??. Glad you’re having a good time.
Back from the cellar already Grannmarie ? I hope you haven’t worn our boys out.
Lemon there you are we’ve been waiting for you.
I’m surprised you’re able to move. I’ve was with two ton Ted when he was only one ton Ted and that was all I could cope with. Sit and rest I’ll get you your pint.
? sing up ladies.

We’re just lining up for tonight’s conga, we’ll be starting at the bar then going out the door, down pigstrotter alley towards lemongrove manor …

Sorry Granmarie, but to be fair you were otherwise engaged in the cellar, mike is all yours now. Now where has George gone....naughty boy!!

Have I missed the karaoke? Am feeling a bit wobbly too....just had a knee trembler in the scullery with two ton Ted from Teddington ( he drives the baker’s van).Am still not speaking to the Admiral after his rudeness earlier and I may go home with Ted or Steamy Stan ( whoever is up to carrying me!)
Where’s a chair....phew! Still, bring me a pint of poteen someone, the night is yet young ( which is more than can be said of us).
Ah, that’s better, now my turn to sing....
I’d liiike to getttt yew ooon a slowww boat tew Chiiiina, aalll to
Mysellllf alllone...hic!

Happyme, that's three songs in a row on our dedicated mike, I'll just relieve you of it and sanitise it before I perform my special request for the Admiral....

?? Sailor, stop your roaming,
Sailor, leave the sea ? ??

I might need to borrow your thigh length boots ? too....

? baby I'm a firework ?? la la la

? I'm on fire ? ?oops ? hot hot hot ? !!!

? call the fire brigade call the fire brigade ?

Sorry Ixion, George busy pleasuring me ......never mind wobbly heels Granmarie, I have jelly knees . Thank goodness for my thigh length boots propping me up.

Grannmarie just don’t distract them too much from their brewing I’ve got a feeling we made need it.
AGA I’ll get Sir Tom to chat to May and Dyna that might keep them occupied. Vi, unlike the rest of her family has a low tolerance of alcohol so ply her with a few more glasses and she’ll be happy to sleep it of.
Excuse me AGA I’ve just spotted Mike the Magnificent from the local gym just got to go and check his……..credentials.

Oh, Doodle, I wasn't sure what to wear in the middle, so I thought, Less is more, IYKWIM? Bit chilly though, but (chasing) following the Pipe Band has warmed me up!
Time for another ? song..I fear I may have to resort to hand to hand combat to remove the mike from Happyme !
?? Close the door, light the light, we're staying home tonight...??
Gaun yersels, I've just hear that some young men in the cellar could do with an extra pair of hands...say no more ?

Vi Agra seems to be popular with the men. May and Dyna are glaring at her. I predict a riot.

ixion it’s a full on sparkly night isn’t it.
Don’t worry about the limos, if no one is safe to drive I will hitch up the llamas to the wagon and take everyone home safely.
Talking of hitching to the wagon, has anyone seen May and Dyna since I sent them trotting off in their panto horse outfit?

Ooh it’s getting crowded in here tonight. I think I caught a glimpse of Sir Tom over in the corner. George is with Happyme and the karaoke’s going well.
Raise a glass to dear soop and MrSoop everyone. Let’s hope Soop gets that long awaited op soon.
AGA I think you’ve excelled with the poteen tonight and the fountain is a great success.
Sorry you didn’t have time to pad your costume….here you are, have these chicken fillets from the fridge they should work fine.
Just don’t bend forward. One of mine just fell in Sir Toms pint ?
brook you seem to be swaying a lot. How many of those glasses did you sample? Keep an eye open because I heard the Admiral saying he wanted to pull a cracker and I think he meant you.
Grannmarie you’re doing a great job on the karaoke. Everyone’s joining in. You look stunning by the way. The sparkly top is great and the heels are spectacular………….but I have to say it’s the bit in between that’s caught everyone’s attention ??

Oh, a gong! Thank you so much, I shall wear it next to my 25 yard swimming medal, c.1958.
And as for looking after George, it's my pleasure?.
Such a gent?
The VIPs seem very impressed, tho maybe un peu refined (not that that will do us any harm).
Wonderful costumes, lots of bling. I wonder why some of them are masked? I see the chauffeurs have pitched up in the Bar with the Admiral, in full flow?.
Will anyone be sober enough to drive the posh people home?
?
Can anyone drive a stretch limo??

It's my heels are wobbly!!!

A poteen fountain !! Where have I been all my life??
I'm so impressed, honoured, overcome with emulsion...to be here in the amazing twinkly Argy, well done Brook.
My costume is tame by comparison but I hope my sparkly top and wobbly heels will impress/ entice the pipers, when are they arriving?
Well now that I've had a wee poteen cocktail, here we go!!

?? Trailer for sale or rent, rooms to let 50 cents...??

Cheers, Soop, wishing you all the very best for your surgery, and Happy New Year to all!
Oops, I've just spotted the pipers...I may be some time, talk amongst yourselves ??

Are you sure it's not you wots wobbly Brook!!

Oh no! I must have made it a bit too strong.

The poteen fountain is looking a bit wobbly - I’ll stand nearby in case we need to stabilise

Rolling, rolling rolling out a barrel....I love a bit Tina Turner. Wow you all look sooo delicious! And what a cracker you are Brook. Please, please pretty please can I chaperone gorgeous George.
Wow a gong....for me , I have never been so honoured. Now where is that fabulous poteen fountain

Lemon I am touched. (mostly by the Admiral) I have never had a gong before.
As we all have gongs they may protect us from some of the missiles that get thrown at us during a usual sedate evening at the Argy.

All the outfits look great especially the padded ones. I didn't have to pad mine ?

There’s a long line of limos queuing along pigstrotter alley .. our VIPs are just starting to arrive

Oh lemon (curtsying) thank you. I’m completely overcome.
I’ve never had a gong before. I’ve come over all unnecessary.
Thank you Lady Lemongrove for this tremendous honour.
I won’t let you down.

Time for someone to start the karaoke I think. I’ll go first.
? Roll out the barrel. ? Come on now join in all.

Oooh thank you so much lemon what an impressive list of gongs ? I’m
so thrilled to be nominated