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A Very Argy Christmas

(392 Posts)
lemongrove Mon 06-Dec-21 14:46:55

Hello All,
Have been waiting for Doodle to open the old Argy up for the festive period, but she has gone to New York ( or possibly York) to do her Christmas shopping.She will be here anytime though, so until then, the doors are open, come in and ‘take the weight off’ and order one of our speciality cocktails or maybe a mulled poteen, and tell us what you’ve been up to.
Sitting on Santa’s knee? Ordering new killer heels?tchsmile

Doodle Mon 27-Dec-21 19:51:34

brook thank you for clearing up. Place looks spotless. Well apart from Lord L . Couldn’t you have given him a bath before bringing him in. I can’t imagine what or who he’s been rolling in but he reeks of cheap perfume.

Doodle Mon 27-Dec-21 19:49:57

Only you would know that AGA ?
Yes please I’ll have some of the soothing mixture. My stomach feels like it’s been in the boxing ring.
It’s so peaceful in here tonight.
I think I’ll just settle in the corner with Gnasher to keep me warm and have a little nap.

AGAA4 Mon 27-Dec-21 19:25:53

I have come back from the manor to add some Alka seltzer and imodium to the mix of poteen to soothe the sore heads and stomach problems of the last few days.
Bjorn is exhausted. I have put him on the comfy chair with a llama blanket over him. He keeps saying he never wants to see another woman again. Don't know what you all have done to him. He is a shrivelled specimen of his former self.

brook2704 Mon 27-Dec-21 18:26:14

Right that’s all the leftovers cleared away, the poteen topped up, the cellar floor swept and the Christmas fairy back on the top of the tree
Shhhh Lord Lemon is still snoozing quietly in the corner …best leave him he’s had a few late nights ?

Doodle Mon 27-Dec-21 14:57:19

Nice idea ixion but not too keen on the bagpipes. Those swirling kilts don’t leave much to the imagination. How about we let them out of the cellar but keep the bagpipes locked away.
Great idea about the haggis poteen Maddy I’m sure AGA will be on it straight away whenever she returns from the Manor. Last seen trying to snatch a flask of viagra poteen away from Lord L before he did himself an injury.
brook at least with May and Dyna off at the sales we can have a quick tidy up without them getting in the way. Those sandwiches are beginning to curl at the edges. Let’s grab a couple of trays and go out down Pigstotter Alley and see if we can flog them out at half price.
lemon can you keep an eye on the bar and if the elf and safety people come round, hide the rest of those sandwiches,

ixion Mon 27-Dec-21 10:00:43

Is Lord L around, Lemongrove?

He's got to be an improvement on this lot.
We surely could've got a slightly more, er, youthful lot to leap about?

Sorry folks☹️

maddyone Sun 26-Dec-21 20:51:25

I’m not a Scot but I do loves Scotsman. Can you release one for me lemon?

maddyone Sun 26-Dec-21 20:50:24

How about haggis flavoured poteen for the new year celebrations?

brook2704 Sun 26-Dec-21 20:07:30

Not sure if theres pasties left but there’s lots of turkey sandwiches on the bar ..
not seen May or Vi all day - they went off to the Boxing Day sales this morning .

lemongrove Sun 26-Dec-21 19:12:10

Yes Doodle I did have a quick fling with Brian, although with all that brilliantine he’s a slippy customer.?Had to use both hands just to keep him in one place while I had my wicked way with him.

lemongrove Sun 26-Dec-21 19:09:48

Sorry ixion but I couldn’t stand all that ghastly noise, customers or not.....have locked them all in the cellar for the night, we will make them tak’ the high road ( or the low road!)
In the morning.
Now, are there any of muse’s pasties left?

ixion Sun 26-Dec-21 19:03:50

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a box of ear plugs on the bar inside for the punters.
How the Queen Mother welcomed one playing outside her bedroom window every morning beats me.
An acquired taste, but with all that pumping, squeezing and blowing, our 11 pipers will be valued customers at the bar for poteen and pasties later.

Do you do haggis pasties, Muse? ?

Doodle Sat 25-Dec-21 19:47:46

Ooh ixion that’s the best present ever.
Er which one shall I start with. ?
lemon I did see you earlier in the evening with Brilliantine Brian from the barbers. Not your usual type but you were well gone by then.
Yes Merry Christmas all the Argies. And the merrier the better ??

lemongrove Sat 25-Dec-21 18:43:13

Am also wishing I hadn’t over indulged ( in so many ways!)
A Christmas to remember....except I can’t, thanks to the extra strong poteen.
Happy Christmas Argie pals!?????

lemongrove Sat 25-Dec-21 18:40:47

Ah Thor... a bit like the Duracell bunny when there’s totty about.I have sent him off to get logs for the fire, you can’t miss him, striding through the trees with his big chopper.He can use some of his energy up.
I woke up this morning under a few sacks in the barn, with no idea how I got there! I have to wonder who slept in my four poster bed, because it was definitely used.....hmmm.

ixion Sat 25-Dec-21 16:44:49

I don't know what she sees in him, tbh What a fine figure of a man Lord L is. And soooo athletic??

Happy Christmas everyone.
Here is my pressie. I do like a man in uniform. They are all ours for the evening, but they have to be back by the morrow as they are on duty outside BP.

And yes, I know (sigh), there are only 9. There were 12 at the start of Pigstrotter Ally, until May and Vi stepped out from the shadows?

Doodle Sat 25-Dec-21 11:01:40

Crumbs Maw you’re up early and able to come up with a cracker like that. Bjorn three indeed grin
Morning AGA you’re up bright and early too. I thought I could detect the aroma of the poteen brewing.
Good bash at Lemon’s last night……..or at least what I remember of it.
You don’t need Alka Selzer brook you need a hair of the dog…or in our case a hair of the llama.
Oh, ok ixion be carful at the manor. Lord L had a skinful last night and if he’s not passed out somewhere he will be on the prowl for something tasty ?
I’m going to tidy the bar and get Thor up, lazy bones. He needs to come and help.
Merry Christmas all. See you later ?

brook2704 Sat 25-Dec-21 10:12:10

Ooh maw he’s a very young and fit Bjorn so expect he’s Bjorn3!

Anyone got any Alka Seltzer …

ixion Sat 25-Dec-21 09:28:11

Happy Christmas workers, punters, animals, hangers on...?
I am just off up to the Manor to put the vac round then I'll be back for the present opening.
Key's under the mat.

AGAA4 Sat 25-Dec-21 08:36:55

Happy Christmas to all my Argy pals?.
I will be down in the cellar as usual brewing with Bjorn. I have added some Christmas cheer to the poteen including holly.
The Viagra is doing well. Do you remember Vi Agra? Think she has just been released after her last escapade at the Argy.
Have s great day all ??

MayBeMaw Sat 25-Dec-21 05:56:28

brook2704

Thor and Bjorn are just getting the Conga line going around the bar and down to the cellar …

Is this the same Bjorn I used to see in the Argy or his successor’s successor- Bjorn Three?

maddyone Fri 24-Dec-21 23:31:27

ixion I’m glad you tucked your skirt into your knickers, I hate to think what might have happened if your skirt got caught in the wheels.

Doodle Fri 24-Dec-21 22:07:59

As it’s Christmas , I’ll swap with you later. grin

Doodle Fri 24-Dec-21 22:07:27

Oooh I do hope so ixion grin

ixion Fri 24-Dec-21 21:53:26

Between a rock and a hard place then, Doodle??