A Very Argy Christmas

Ooh ixion how sad. Come on. I’ll cheer you up let’s join the conga. Bags I fit in between Thor and Bjorn ?

Thor and Bjorn are just getting the Conga line going around the bar and down to the cellar …

Please, no sadness tonight?
Just think shawl and car wheels. I can say no more?

Crumbs Laura you certainly know how to spoil us. We’ve missed your……..cooking. You have such a unique style. ?
ixion you are welcome to have a ride up to the Manor with me but I’ve swapped my moped for a Hartley Davison. Bit like the real thing but made as a by product from the jam factory.
Maddy what a brilliant idea but I hope between you and Laura my poor llamas aren’t feeling the cold.
Aw brook you always did take such good care of them. I’ll pop a little heater in the barn tonight to keep them warm too.
Oh yes Lemon we are all set. AGA has worked her magic and produced bountiful amounts of poteen.
The cellar visits are going well.
Muse has come up with more pasties and as a treat she is allowed to come to the manor with us. I have put MayHem and Dyna as reserve Christmas fairies in the tree. Since they got given their parts in the panto they have been behaving well.

Thor and Bjorn are taking it in turns to man the door. Those Santa thongs teamed with a Santa hat certainly drawing in a crowd.
Psst. ixion what happened to Isadora? ?

?maw

I have booked Luigi's World Famous Ices and Bert's Bloomin' Brilliant Burgers to pitch up in the far corner of the field by the Ha-Ha, if that's OK with you Lemon?
Treat for the party goers

Great to welcome you all to the Manor, but we must remind everyone that the Argy will be open on Christmas Day and Boxing Day, somebody will be dispensing drinks behind the bar, and there will be hot pasties under the cake dome on the bar top.

Seasons Greetings my Argy chums - just spent the afternoon dollying myself up and now I’m ready to party
Oh the poor llamas, they look very bald, Alarma hasn’t come out of her stable and Gnasher is shivering in the cellar. I’ll get their blankets on then come over to the Manor.
The pool is shimmering with the poteen top up, the merry go round is going full blast and the ice rink is magical.
Santa is doing the rounds with his elves and Lauras tasty nibbles are going down a treat ?

Should I tuck my skirt into my knickers for the ride Maddyone?
I always remember my dear dear friend Isadora and her dreadful end?

I’ve made llarma lined knickers for everyone for a Christmas gift. They’ll keep you fine and warm in the cold tonight up at the Manor, hope they don’t make you too hot when you see Bjorn and his mates at the barbecue up there. Hop on the moped ixion, take the pillion, I’ve got the handlebars for the first view of the rippling flesh the gorgeous Manor.

Aha, you'll never guess. The gift that keeps on giving?.

Arw you going up to the Manor on your moped Doodle? I'll cadge a lift pillion if I may?

I have llama lined ear muffs ixion can’t wait.
Hope nobody noticed the bald patches on the llamas when I left. I also have a matching fully llama-lined vest.

Just passing through to say Merry Christmas to my old chums. I have brought some of my delicious culinary triumphs.
Roasted moth, wrapped in sugared bluebottle wings and glazed with a blend of llama spit and snail trail.
Pan fried earwigs on a bed of dried rats tail.
Washed down with a nice drop bloodeaux.
Bet you’ve missed me in the kitchen haven’t you.

Ooh ixion you tease. I’m so excited, I wonder what it can be.
I’m just popping up to the Manor to deliver another batch of poteen. Lemon said something about filling the swimming pool with it. You can hitch a ride with me if you like.

To apologise for my fleeting appearances recently, I have arranged a special festive experience pressie for all my friends in the Argy and at the Manor. Arriving tomorrow- bring ear protection??

Ooh maddy wait for me. I can’t get anywhere near Bjorn there’s a queue round the block waiting for him.
AGA , Brook , come on everyone let’s go to the Manor and have a turn with Lord Lemongrove………on the ice rink I mean ?

Yes Doodle, Bjorn had a tankard full of the viagra poteen earlier and it certainly geed him up, but someone gave him another one only half an hour ago. I’ve had my fill of him now, so you’re welcome to do door duty with him for a bit. I’m off to the bar for a bit and then I want to wander up to the Ball and have look at what’s going on up there. I’ll take some more of the poteen along with me. It’ll be running low by now at the rate they drink it.

Well....the poteen has gone down a storm at the Ball, we are serving it mulled with cranberries and assorted bits and bobs floating in it.The crowd can’t get enough of it, even the gaviscon and olive mix is proving a big hit.The only downside is that our esteemed guests keep falling down ( and staying down) and a few have lost their eyesight.
A small price to pay though!

Thanks brook. Alarms is a little madam.
Good idea to take some poteen to Lemongrove Manor. There will be a good crowd there tonight.

Great idea brook and if they drink enough poteen they won’t hurt themselves when they fall down.
Thanks for sorting out Madame . If she carries on like this I will be forced to issue the ultimate warning (zoo !!!)
Heard great things about the new range of poteen AGA , all going down a treat. The rum and raisin is proving popular as is the banana, baileys and cream de menthe. There don’t seem to be so many takers for the gaviscon and olive mix for some reason.
Er Maddyone did I hear you say Bjorn had drunk a tankard of the viagra mix and has wandering hands………. Why don’t you have a break from the door and help out in the bar for a bit. I may just wander up and check Bjorn things out.

Phew - I sorted them out AGA you were right it was Alarma having another one of her tantrums as her triple chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles wasn’t chocolatey enough. Apparently she wanted chocolate sauce as well ?
Anyhow I took all the llamas down to Lemongrove Manor this afternoon to check on the new Ice skating rink near the paddock. It’s really drawing a crowd - think we could take some Christmas poteen down there later tonight and flog the lot

Would someone please check on the llamas. I am at a critical point in the brewing and all the brewing staff are busy elsewhere so I can't go but there sounds as though they are having an argument. Probably started by Alarma.
I have added some mince pies and cranberry sauce to the brew as well as Viagra and pep pills. It should be lively tonight.
We are making a fortune on the Christmas poteen so thanks to all for your brilliant suggestions for additives.

I should have thought of that Doodle, a rolling pin is definitely required. Some of this lot are extremely cheeky. Bjorn’s doing his best but he’s hampered a bit by his own wandering hands and eyes. Who gave him that tankard full of the viagra poteen?
How’s AGA doing in the cellar now I’ve come up to do bouncer duty?

I certainly hope not brook not with his wandering hands we all know what he’s like. Er ? don’t tell Lemon I said that ?

Brrrrr just come in out of the cold and passed Bjorn at the door on the way in, he’s been doing a brilliant job and he’s been jingling his bells all afternoon whilst singing Frosty the Snowman
It’s looking really festive in here tonight with the twinkly lights - goodness is that Lord Lemon dressed as Santa?