A Very Argy Christmas

He is good isn’t he AGA, unlike Madam.
Maddyone I’m sure Bjorn will help out on the door but if things get a bit too risqué then give me a shout and I’ll give them a whack with my rolling pin.
ixion I’m glad you were sensible with your liberty bodice on. We don’t want you having a cold. Next time try knickers too, to keep the draughts out. ?

Gnasher hates the 'elf and safety man and chased him round the Argy biting his bum. 'elf man was last seen haring down the dock road with Gnasher in hot pursuit.
The man boarded the Stiff Barnacle as she left port so we won't have any trouble with him for a while.

Gnasher is such a good llama. Extra poteen for him later.

Yup Doodle. That lurex number proved to be a tad chilly and was drawing ribald comments funny looks from those encountered on Pigstrotters Alley. Never mind, it did the trick - at least until I put my liberty bodice on over the top...

It was a brilliant idea to take a couple of Muses's pasties along as a lure to entice the punters in. They were happy to pay a fiver for each, not including drinks.

See you back at base.

Oooh La La, there are some very cheeky punters coming into the Argy tonight! I think my elf costume really geed them up, we should make a good profit tonight. I could do with an assistant on the door to ward them off, maybe Bjorn could help out.

Carillion mes excuses. I had no idea you had your sights set on Thor. Oh dear.
Oh well AGA at least May didn’t get her hands on Bjorn. Brook would have been more gentle with him.
That brewing stick has seen plenty of action AGA I remember Lemon using it for sex play with Lord L.
Oh no Lemon not the baking again. Last time we poisoned half the punters and the rest couldn’t get off the toilet for weeks.
brook there is a bottle of Domestos under the sink with the cocktail book. It’s what we use for the colouring in the blue cocktails.
ixion ….. ixion…. You’ve got your dress on back to front again…I said you’ve ..sigh never mind but don’t blame me if you catch a chill on your chest.
muse have you for my rolling pin up there on top of the tree?
I hope those pine cones aren’t causing you a problem

Aye aye, Cap'n!

BRB

AGAA4

His when I whack him with the brewing stick.

Is that a bit like a rhythm stick? Hit me hit me hit me!
carillion we could get you a part time job in Madame Pom
Pom’s ( down by the gasworks) they speak a sort of French there too!
muse please get Mr M baking again, we need about seventy of those Christmas Dinner Pasties here at the Argy and about
300 for the Lemongrove Annual Ball.
If not....desperate times call for desperate measures and I and
Doodle and Aga ( the best bakers at the Argy) will have to put our pinnies on and get baking ASAP.
brook will you take over the bar and make some Christmas Cocktails, you will find my old recipe book under the kitchen Sink, if the mice haven’t eaten it.
ixion you are on man hunting duties.....strut your stuff down Pigstrotters Alley and bring some customers in, lure them with your lurex mini dress ( I mean that you should wear it, not wave it at them)....oh I don’t know though......
maddyone you are on the door as security, anyone who looks a bit dodgy will be a regular, so let them in, but keep out any riff raff like health inspectors, car parking attendants, and any tradesmen with a bill ( or anything else) in their hands.
Chop chop we don’t have all day.

Hang on un minute I think I can hear the elf and safety inspector still locked in the cellar … best rescue him I’ll be back dans une minute

They bring their own. Balaclavas so only the eyes show and a gap for drinking poteen and other beverages.
Many of them pop in here before their night time activities. Also gloves (fingerprints).

Dropped by earlier to find an Inspector with a clipboard peering through the grimy windows.
Il cherchait le cave où on was making le poteen?
Zut alors

Où est vos certificates? il a dit.
'Elf and Safety', 'Food handling'.
Oops.

I got May to show him round - il était comme putty dans sa main, heuresement.

Un question- où est notre PPE pour nos visiteurs, svp?

His when I whack him with the brewing stick.

brook Bjorn est le mien! What a cad he is. A pretty face and he's off. There will be tears in the poteen tonight.

Bonjour mes amies… I’m just a little bit how you say … sizzled , non sozzled I think after being out down town all day with Bjorn
Sorry beaucoup for keeping him out all day but it was worth it …

Mon dieu Doodle vous etes kidding moi.

Non…..quelle horreure!! Is that Thor le massive est lost to moi?? Mais non Doodle vous tormentez moi, vous vixen,

And never parlez le noms de Sven at le crumpled hanky Bjorn encore.

Doodle, vous have plunged un grand stilleto into ma coeur.. aghhhh… je have indigestion now.

Je hope vous can live with that … vous tres naughty personne for that, je tighten le elastic sur votre costume.

Je ne seen Bjorn pas all day. Maddy and I have brewed le poteen alone. We need him to heft the barrels up the steps as we are just femmes fragile.

J'espere que May hasn't got her hands on him as he will be fit for nothing after a day with her.

Merci pour la stick de lip Carillion. J'adore that shade de rouge.

Er Carillion mon ami, vous as mistook AGA et Thor’s ensemble dans le cellar.
Thor jouer au the other side. Il est missing ils homme de compagnie Sven .
AGA as new homme Bjorn. Ou est Bjorn? ?

Allez vous my voluptuous amis, AGGA et maddyone,
Vous are all poulet de spring. As am moi.

Nous have no fear of big shoes ……………….lemongrove has had le grande shoe factorie en York pour plus years so… is tres rich.
Allons-y…..Get votre tootsies in gear!!

Here are le stilettos pour vous (no half de sizes, obv)???
?????

Me stilettos don’t fit so well since I got me bunions, but I’ll squeeze into them. It’s a good cause.

I have just seen the Admiral, May Hem and Dyna Mite totter in roaring drunk un peu tipsy.
Stilletoes on everyone.

That outfit will entice them down to the cellar. I hope my frilly petticoat has the same effect.
Think we should all wear our stilettos doodleas there is usually trouble when the poteen is flowing.

Ooh La La, I can’t wait to try it on.

For vous maddyone

Bonjour mes amis, just off to tighten le knicker elastic pour the costume of Madame Doodle parce que she est tres sveldt now. Ha!Ha! Toujours avec delusionment.

Je have tous in place now in our boite de first aid, par example, les stick de lip pour vous in need …obv to support AGAA et her triste with the Viking, monsieur Thor.
Madame maddyone, je send you the redesigned elf frockette for you to flaunt in the —dungeon— pardon! Le cellarrr enjoy mon amis ????

Until tonight, bonne afternoon or as you parlez, Ta Ta, , en Anglais , obv.

Yes I think we could really make this cellar visit thing work.
With Carillion front of house enticing the punters in with her ample bosom charm and French chic.
AGA and Maddyone in the cellar brewing and giving tours
muse dispensing her delicious pasties from on top of the Christmas tree as the sugar plum fairy and the rest of us looking French and sexy dispensing some oooh la la and a quick boot to the read end with a sharp heeled stiletto for anyone who causes trouble.
Any other ideas?

Great idea Maddy. Different flavoured poteen will bring in the punters. We could bottle some of it and charge a fortune a reasonable amount for a bottle to take away.
brook Thor is making a few home made chips for Alarma to keep her happy till the order arrives.
doodle I will need time off for hair and make-up if I will be exposed to public view.