Sad to see Christmas cards going out of fashion

Beswitched, it's not an 'old tradition' at all really. Cards (and trees) only became popular in Victorian times. I just send them to the older generation now. I really don't like them myself, so think it's more about the sending than receiving.

There is a lot of truth in what you say Doodledog but also many of us genuinely enjoy sending and receiving cards. They form part of my Christmas decorations and I look through them several times during the season to think about old friends and relatives. It's quite important to me. My younger family members don't send cards any more only to me because they know I like them.

I have posted about 40 and will be writing another 15-20 e-mails to more people. We are getting 2-3 per day and have about a dozen hanging up in the hall.

I can't get out of the habit!

I’m the same as many others, I like getting cards, they are part of our Christmas colour and decoration, so obviously I send them. DH has been nagging me to get them done which tends to have the opposite effect but I should never have told him that no one could read his writing! We’ve sent about 30 but until Friday we’d only received one by post and the three that DD1 brought with her when she came for a too brief weekend in early December. On Friday we received 10 but as I saw they were posted on 6th December we might well get some more.

Something I’ll have to do in January is write to all the kind people who included letters enquiring after our health and giving us a quick update on them and their families.

I’ve got an old address book with much crossing out and changes of address in it too EllanVannin, it’s getting stiff with the sticky labels that I add over the change of address ones now. There are some names I can’t bring myself to cross out.

Cynical Doodledog but I agree with every word. Well written, amusing and sadly familiar.

I see your point Doodledog. They are a source of angst for some people and sometimes seen as a public display of how popular or not someone is.

I think that it's sad that some people get upset when they don't get cards, and also that it's sad that others feel guilt tripped into buying, writing and posting them.

The 'tradition' is something that most of us grew up with, but it's not something that's been happening for hundreds of years. It started in Victorian times when cards were hand made love tokens, which is probably where the idea that they represent 'making an effort' and that they show how much people are loved comes from. They would only have been sent by those with the money and time to make them and send them. It is much more recently that they became mass produced, but those connotations have stuck.

They have picked up other connotations on the way. When I was a child, my mum would buy huge boxes of cards, and sort them into 'best' ones for good friends, 'average' ones for neighbours and colleagues, and 'the rest' for last-minute ones that needed to be sent if a card arrived unexpectedly. Most people seemed to do the same. It was pretty easy to tell where you sat on someone's priority list by which card you got . I don't see that as being about love, but about social hierarchies.

Men very rarely wrote any, which meant that it was another thing for women to do at an already busy time of year. It was also a way of keeping women in line, as the social ramifications of missing someone out were real, and writing them out and organising lists took time. Mum used to write out cards for my father's colleagues and the people he managed, even though she knew hardly any of them. They would have been upset if 'he' didn't send them one, as it was taken as a sign of a caring boss. He was a civil servant, not a paternalistic Squire! Again, social hierarchies, not love.

As I grew up I could see that they were also about shows of apparent popularity. Schools had postboxes for children to post their cards, and they were handed out before playtime in public. Everyone could see how many cards everyone else got, and could compare that to their own haul. Parents were pressured into buying dozens of the things, particularly if they had more than one child, and houses overflowed with them on every horizontal surface and on every wall.

When I got married I was given a book in which to record cards sent and received. My mum had one the same, and would check cards in and out like she was reconciling a bank account. There was huge relief if there was a zero balance on the last post day, a sigh if she got one that had not been reciprocated (children were sent to deliver an 'emergency' one if the address was nearby), and those who 'hadn't bothered' got a tick against them - two consecutive ticks meant they were crossed out and were only restored to 'The List' if they came back into the fold and sent one. The phrase 'She's off my Christmas card list' was widely used (semi jokingly) about people who had been demoted in the friendship stakes, but with whom there hadn't been an actual fall-out.

When I was working and my children were at school, the whole card thing became an annual nightmare. The house was filled with the things, my colleagues, Mr Dog's colleagues, two lots of cards from each child's whole class (by this time, anti-bullying policies had come on stream, and leaving anyone out was not encouraged), plus those from extended family we never saw from one year to the next, and actual friends. Each one had to be reciprocated, although I divided this strictly between us all. Mr Dog did his colleagues and family, I mine, and the children their own. I still had to nudge them all, though, and pretty much always bought the cards. Where was the love?

Is it any wonder that people are sick of it all? Getting something that was only sent because the sender knew that they would be 'struck off' if they hadn't bothered, or because the sender's wife or mother had badgered them to send it is no sign of love or popularity, any more than not sending them is a sign of lack of care.

The very fact that people question those who make excuses says it all, really. 'Does her charity donation equate to the cost of cards?' puts the whole charade onto a financial transaction footing, only sending them to those who send back makes a mockery of genuine friendship, and weighing up someone's perceived carbon footprint against the carbon cost of cards is massively intrusive.

I send a couple to those who will not change their views - all much older than I am. It doesn't necessarily mean that I love those people more than those who don't get one - just that I don't want to deliberately hurt anyone. Otherwise, I stopped buying into the whole thing years ago.

We hang ours on the bannister supports-together with sparkling lights. It cheers the hall up. I love to send them and receive them. My adult children still send them but I guess sending cards will eventually stop-not to save the planet but out of sheer apathy.

I hold my hands up as one who has never liked Christmas cards. They clutter up the place and generally come from folk who barely know you and don’t really care beyond getting one in return (shameless exaggeration warning) counting up how many cards were receive each year was my mil’s competitive nature in full swing.

I Bluetack (Whitetack now) all ours to various painted surfaces - they form part of our decorations, while not being in the way, and IMO look very jolly. And very easy to take down when the time comes. Though not before 6th January, of course. ???

I'm not send any this year due to a bereavement but have noticed in recent years that more people are just sending a happy Christmas text. I remember my parents getting so many cards they would run out of places to put them. I probably get about 15 to 20. Younger generation seem to write 5 or 6 if that.

My list is shrinking too. A few people I know have said they’re not sending cards this year due to ill health, bereavement etc. I can understand that. It’s sad though to see dwindling numbers of cards arriving.

Take them off your Christmas card list immediately - ‘every little helps’!?

I love sending and receiving cards and was a bit miffed this morning to see a message on Facebook from a friend saying they wouldn’t be sending cards this year to ‘save the planet.’

I was tempted to reply, ‘Oh so you’ve waited until you’ve got all yours before telling us we won’t be getting one back.’

?

EV you could buy yourself a lovely new address book (I love stationery i’m Sad that way) and spend a pleasurable winter afternoon updating it. Of course keep the old one too, just to wander down memory lane occasionally.

I’m always a bit disappointed to get a Jacquie Lawson e-card. They’re lovely and very clever but ....

I feel exactly the same about them GsMum. I’ve got 2 waiting to be opened. They arrived on Thursday ?
Put me off ‘repeat this password to open your card’. I wasn’t near a pen/paper. Better do it today. You get a reminder if you don’t open the (pretty) thing.

It has been a steady decline rather than sudden death.
DH died just before Christmas last year so I didn't send cards
I am a bit shocked this year as it seems we've been dropped from a number of lists. But maybe they have also died.
I have received a couple addressed to both of us so clearly the news hasn't reached everyone
Due to covid we only had 15 at the funeral so that could be another reason.
The email round robins still come. I haven't sent my cards yet but I have bought them.
I don't mind if they are late. It's the season for me rather than the day.

Merry Christmas to you all.

The Christmas cards I get are part of my decorations. I only put up a small tree so the cards give an added sparkle.
I am sending and getting less cards now. Some of my older friends have died and I have to pass them by in my address book and younger ones just aren't interested in cards.

Urms mine started out at about 3 dozen years ago but over the years the poor souls have died,, but still a couple of dozen remain.

Which reminds me, my address book ( my Bible ) badly needs editing or renewing altogether with its crossed out people/ addresses and nee names, which I've been using for the past 10 years or more so I've got to a stage where I can just about make things out

Like Gagajo, most of my childhood friends are spread around the world. We WhatsApp one another, but Xmas cards, no. I send cards to friends in the UK, and to neighbours.
While I’m here, I wish all my GN friends a Happy Xmas and a peaceful 2022 ??? ? xx

I send cards and enjoy receiving them though I’m always a bit disappointed to get a Jacquie Lawson e-card. They’re lovely and very clever but not the same as having something to open and display. My son’s generation don’t seem to do cards, though he and his wife always send us one they don’t do that with friends, so I wonder if the tradition will pretty much die with us.

My list is definitely shrinking. Only a couple of DH's family left (he was one of the youngest ones) and I've lost 5 friends to a combination of Covid and cancer in the last two years, quite a chunk out of my list.

I had cards ready for some of my local neighbours, but they have put Christmas greeting notices in a local magazine and stated that they are no longer doing cards.
So I don't know whether to deliver my cards to them or not.
I do think cards are gradually dying out, although I've still received a few in the post from friends elsewhere.

We always send cards, about 35 this year. We always get the same amount back.

I think the practice will die out gradually, it already has to a certain extent even people of our generation have given up the habit, God knows it's a chore, but sometimes I love the newsy type accompanying letters I get at this time of year from an old school friend who I haven't met up with since the lockdown. I thought twice about sending a card to a cousin in Canada because we do exchange emails, but then decided to send her one in spite of the stonking £1.70 postage, I was glad I did, I got hers today and as others say it is a nice way of keeping in touch.