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Making friends through work

(34 Posts)
Beswitched Fri 24-Dec-21 09:38:37

I've heard somebody yesterday saying that they never mix work and friendship, see enough of their colleagues during the day etc

I found that quite sad. I have made some lifelong and very supportive friends through various jobs across the years.

Just wondering if any of you agree with the colleagues are for work not socialising sentiment?

Humbertbear Mon 27-Dec-21 22:40:49

I have one long term friend whom I taught with back in the 80s but no other friends from work. My last job was in a university and four of us women were very close. I spoke in my leaving speech about us having supported each other through illnesses, births, marriages and death. I never heard from any of the other three again.

M0nica Mon 27-Dec-21 22:32:31

LtEve. I have lived a much more peripatetic life than you - my father was in the army and we were constantly on the move, but as soon as I get somewhere new, I join local organisations for interests I have whether, political, personal interest or educational.

I have made a few good and long lasting friends at work, but generally found I had little in common with them - and in one case when a new manager decided to take his 5 section leaders away for a two days team building exercise, I came to the conclusion, that I would dodge behind a wheely bin to not meet them if I saw any of them coming up the road in my direction. Luckily, we all headed very separate self contained teams and interacted very little on the work front, so I rarely saw them anyway.

Katyj Mon 27-Dec-21 17:53:54

I made some very good friends when I started a new job 25 year ago, There’s 8 of us, only 2 left now but we still all meet up 4 times a year.

Galaxy Mon 27-Dec-21 17:22:10

grin. To the point.

JaneJudge Mon 27-Dec-21 17:20:47

I don't like any of them

LtEve Mon 27-Dec-21 17:16:06

Where else do you meet people if, like me, you move away from the area in which you grew up? I have no local family or childhood friends so have had to make new ones. You spend most of your life at work so it would make sense to make most of your friends there.

These days few people stay working in the same place for years so romantic relationships may not carry the same danger if they end.

M0nica Mon 27-Dec-21 16:58:45

paddyann, LtEve Fine, if it works out and you live happliy ever after, difficult if it ends. The sulks, cold shoulder, and non speaking. Not to mention the snide remarks. It happened to me once, and I vowed never again. A bit of light dalliance now and again, but never anything serious.

Josieann Fri 24-Dec-21 22:53:05

Lincslass

I met my closest friends through work. We supported each other during stressful times whilst working, had fun out of work, still strong after 30 odd years.

That comment resonates with me especially tonight along with other comments about valuing the loyalty and trustworthiness of colleagues at work. I don't believe we just fall lucky in this respect, we often have to put a lot of effort into relationships in the workplace.
My son told us while at his this evening that tomorrow, Christmas Day, he has invited a work colleague to lunch with us all. This young man is unable to go home and see his family for Christmas, so our son stepped in with an act of kindness. I have no doubt they will be supportive friends for life.

paddyann54 Fri 24-Dec-21 22:41:46

me too* LtEve* 47 years married and I was his boss when we met ,I've a fair few good friends from that same company ,terrific women and men who we see regularly ,until covid

geekesse Fri 24-Dec-21 20:42:17

I keep the different parts of my life entirely separate, always have done. Work colleagues, however well we get on, remain colleagues. Friends and family are not part of my working life. I did once bring both spheres together for a leaving do when I left a job and a city at the same time, and it was a rather odd mix. My family and friends were astonished to discover how well regarded I was by colleagues, and colleagues found my family and friends all a bit eccentric.

Serendipity22 Fri 24-Dec-21 20:30:02

I would say that 99.9% of my friends are from when i worked. Loyal, trustworthy friends , some who are complete opposite to me but we accept each other for who we are, that i believe is real friendship. smile

LtEve Fri 24-Dec-21 19:43:23

I married one of my work colleagues! He was a friend for quite a while before we started going out.

Kim19 Fri 24-Dec-21 19:18:09

Don't ask!! Half of it disappeared and now I see it has returned. I'm a techie genius!

Kim19 Fri 24-Dec-21 19:16:35

I very much enjoy socialising with ex colleagues and I am lucky enough to have different groups from different companies. Absolutely no pressure. We simply have a weekly meeting p!ace and time. Pot luck whoever turns up. In eight years I've only once been the sole attendee and that didn't bother me one little bit. Nice venue.....

We all attend by individual choice with absolutely no pressure. Nothing specific ever arranged. We just have a regular meeting day and time. Pot luck whoever turns up. Only once in eight years have I been there a!one. Great (but casual) fun.

Beswitched Fri 24-Dec-21 16:18:47

I agree that a lot of workplace friendships wane once you no long work together. But the really good ones last and can really enrich your life.

Galaxy Fri 24-Dec-21 12:42:56

God I did Monica. Absolute disaster. Part of how we learn I suppose.

M0nica Fri 24-Dec-21 12:41:32

I have had longlasting friends from work, until they died and some I was friends with for a while. anything from a year or two to decades, although it has later wained.

What I never did was mix work and romance. I did it once at university - and never again. Well, I was tempted, twice, but both were very brief, I made sure that it was never known at work.

Hetty58 Fri 24-Dec-21 12:11:06

I've had 'friends' from work - but haven't kept in touch when we've moved on. I think we were only friends in that situation due to being teachers and seeing each other every day - with not much else in common.

I do have two really good friends that I met when my children were small. There was a far better range of choice, back then, so I must have picked ideal ones!

GagaJo Fri 24-Dec-21 12:02:47

Most of my friends have been met through work. I'm a real curmudgeon too so I have no idea how.

Lincslass Fri 24-Dec-21 11:56:25

I met my closest friends through work. We supported each other during stressful times whilst working, had fun out of work, still strong after 30 odd years.

ninathenana Fri 24-Dec-21 11:52:51

My DD's God mother is someone I met at work.

CanadianGran Fri 24-Dec-21 11:09:44

I have some very good friendships that started through working together. A few others that petered out over the years because of time and distance.

I am still working, and work with a very diverse age group, however friendly we are at work, I have not developed any outside-work relationships with anyone here.

But I believe good friendships can be formed through many different means; friends met while single, while being mums of young children, meeting people through similar interests, etc. It is always a good thing to be open towards new relationships.

silverlining48 Fri 24-Dec-21 10:18:32

I have not remained friends with anyone I worked with, but still have some very good friends from school both primary and secondary.
As i write this I am waiting fir a friend; to have a cuppa and slice if cake. We met at 11 and been friends for over 60 years.

Chewbacca Fri 24-Dec-21 10:13:49

It depends on the colleagues. One ex colleague and I worked together for 5 years and remained close friends for 45 years until her death 3 years ago. Another ex colleague and I worked together for 18 years and remain friends after my retirement (we met up yesterday). Other colleague friendships lived on for a while but petered out, as they do. I was an "office party avoider" (even managed to avoid my own retirement party!) but it didn't seem to affect my colleague relationships/friendships.

Yammy Fri 24-Dec-21 10:09:26

I never mixed home and work but after leaving have some very good friends from those days.