I know not many will agree but I ll say it anyway

kathsue It would be nice if you didn't just have to smile and people actually thought about people like you too. I haven't a clue who you are, but I'd like to return the and the hugs.

I'm another one who can't wait for it all to be over. Too many sad memories. It doesn't upset me as much now as it used to when people talk about seeing their children and grandchildren . I just smile and go along with it. I am happy for them and don't want to spoil their Christmas joy but I can be screaming inside.

I just want to send and hugs to those who are missing their loved ones at this time of year

BlueBelle

3nanny6 I m not wishing my life away I m sort of wishing a week away, I m not expecting anyone who loves Christmas to not carry on loving it, I m simply setting up a thread for those that may feel a bit down, a bit sad a bit alone or just fed up
There are dozens of threads talking about the joys and wonders of Christmas and I m happy for you all but there are folks who are sad at christmas, alone at christmas, maybe ill or without joy for whatever reason and I want to remember them
My christmas will be fine but I m very very aware that many will not and that going on and on about how wonderful it is can not help
This is not meant to be a miserable anti christmas thread just an awareness that it’s not all sweetness and light for everyone
It’s not a have or have not just a small way towards balance

I wonder whether we could set up some sort of organisation/website for people who spend Christmas alone and just want to do things which make them feel good. I know somebody who has a loving family, but hates the superficiality of Christmas and struggles not to become depressed over the "festive period". He shuts himself off from the world and for two days indulges in the things which make him happy. Maybe there should be somewhere for people like him to exchange thoughts and ideas.

BlueBelle You're not alone. As a child, my father and sisters did jobs which meant working over Christmas. My father always drank too much when he wasn't working and my mother used to get stressed. There were always arguments, which is what I remember most about Christmas.

When I had my own young family, what I remember most is driving all over the country to visit in-laws, who guilt-tripped us if we didn't visit.

I've spent the last three Christmases totally on my own. I haven't been unhappy because I planned treats for myself. I ate what I wanted when I wanted, I indulged in ridiculously expensive bubble bath and relaxed, while listening to music I love, I watched DVDs I knew would make me feel good and had phone/video calls with the people I love.

This year, I've gone from planning a Christmas Day potentially for 10 people to Christmas Day for just two, which has needed a rapid re-think. I've never switched on to the commercialised idea of happy families and a beautifully decorated home (although my Christmas tree was brought down from the loft and decorated for the first time in three years) and I have a fridge and freezer stuffed with food.

It's just one day. I shall miss the time to browse the online sales, which is just about the only time I buy clothes.

I wish everybody on GN a contented Christmas, however they spend it and I sincerely hope that 2022 will be a happier New Year for all of us. xxx

3nanny6 I m not wishing my life away I m sort of wishing a week away, I m not expecting anyone who loves Christmas to not carry on loving it, I m simply setting up a thread for those that may feel a bit down, a bit sad a bit alone or just fed up
There are dozens of threads talking about the joys and wonders of Christmas and I m happy for you all but there are folks who are sad at christmas, alone at christmas, maybe ill or without joy for whatever reason and I want to remember them
My christmas will be fine but I m very very aware that many will not and that going on and on about how wonderful it is can not help
This is not meant to be a miserable anti christmas thread just an awareness that it’s not all sweetness and light for everyone
It’s not a have or have not just a small way towards balance

What a touching post BlueBelle. I am another one who will be alone tomorrow apart from a visit early morning from my son and daughter in law. They are spending the day with her family. I will join my eldest son and his family on Boxing Day.

I lost my beloved husband twenty months ago and I am finding Christmas very difficult. Three years ago on Boxing Day he was emergency admitted to hospital for emergency surgery and at this time of the year I am reminded of his stay in ICU and his remaining time with me.

I always put on a happy positive face for my three sons but inside I am heartbroken. It is hard, especially at happy family times for some people. Yes we must celebrate families coming together but should remember for some of us it is a difficult time to get through.

Barmyoldbat, did I read your post correctly? Did you say your dil had died 2 weeks ago and your son was upset because you didn’t go to help out? I must have read it wrong I’m sure, but that’s how it reads, I think maybe you didn’t check what you wrote. Very often what I put it changes after I press send. Hope you do t mind me pointing it out.
I have lost so many people I love over Christmas’s past, I think it’s a wonderful time for children and young families, it brings such joy. That’s how I always felt until my dh died, since then not the same.

I love Christmas and everything that goes with it. I will be with my family tomorrow but even when I'm not I simply revel in Christmasses past and remember them with utter joy even though many of the main participants are no longer with us. New Year finds me a little more reflective and melancholy but that can wait. Merry Christmas to everyone who enjoys it.?

Pepper59

I can identify. I just don't feel the same about Christmas at all. We lost a friend this month very unexpectedly and funeral was two days ago. I really can't be bothered. Im trying to pluck up the courage to say it's just all too much, but feel the family would be devastated. I honestly could not do that to them. Im not doing the cooking this year. It was a massive effort just to put decorations up. For me Covid has changed something in me, the constant uncertainty. I will never be so glad as to get to 2nd January. Sadly, I think next year will be the same. This virus isnt going anywhere. Im sure I come across as miserable and ungrateful and I don't mean to be. I do know Ive much to be thankful for. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, however you spend it and wherever you are.

I feel the same. losing my mum in the spring and a dear friend losing her husband this month plus a few other sad occurrences has really taken its toll. I can’t wait for the new year and a clean page.

I am with bluebelle but I look on this time as yule which marks the beginning of the longer days, in the meantime it is my hibernation time and I am calmly happy on my own, doing things that I like. There is, thankfully, no frenetic activity in my home, no-one else to cater for and no-one here to impress. Two short visits to family and then back to my cosy nest

I think we are all bombarded by images of everyone sitting round a huge table, multi generations having a great time. Add in to that mix friends and others, even posters on here, going on about the wonderful Christmas they’re going to be having with their families….for those who don’t fit into this tableau for whatever reason,its very hard. My only grandchild is abroad, I won’t see that daughter and him, my other daughter has no children. We don’t fit into the mix. I’ve got friends who drone on and on about the grandchildren, the wonderful sons and daughters in law, the wonderful parents in law etc etc. It does make you feel down hearted. But, we must all just enjoy the day as best we can, thankful that we are alive in these torrid times. Good wishes to all.

Bluebelle you are not alone in this at all.
Christmas is hard for many, and particularly after this last year/two years. Take care.

I just find Christmas quite sad nowadays. Think of those loved ones no longer here. All the hype. Nothing is different or exciting anymore, the food can be eaten any time of year, presents that so many neither want or need, rubbish on the tv…….

I sound a right misery don’t I, but that is how I really feel I’m afraid. Always glad when it’s over to be honest.

BlueBelle I would just say stop wishing your life away and wanting to rush into 2022.

Christmas does not just have to be for big families and plenty of children around also grand-children. Many of my once large family of older relatives are dead, I haver even lost a much loved brother in the last few years. None of this means I can no longer enjoy that special feeling that comes with Christmas, it is still special for me.
Live for each day take joy in the moments feel something in just one part of the day. The day is soon gone and so are many life is too short to wish it away and hope for a different year. The pleasures are found in the present seek and you will find.

Merry Christmas.

I've always thought it's all for the kids. Giving them a lovely day is so important - and very hard work. We had a big family Christmas dinner a couple of weeks ago, so now, no pressure, just a nice lunch, a walk and watch a few films, nice!

Christmas is a sad time for many, but I do think that there is too much hype, expectation and inevitable feelings of inadequacy as a result. So, this year, I am delighted to have two of my adult children here, all safe and well, we shall eat when we are hungry, drink when we wish, snooze as we see fit, it is only a roast dinner with presents! Hoping all of you have a good Christmas whatever you do, raise a glass and toast to all on GN

I am another that does not like it, by the time it happens I am bored by the songs, stuff in the shops,adverts and people talking about it.

No you are certainly not alone, it will be just me and Mr B with a long drive to visit my daughter with a couple of meals she can heat up, won’t stay long as the house is just to cold. Son will be with his children but can’t visit as two of them are unvaxed, and they haven’t got over me not visiting and giving them physical support when their mum died nearly 2 weeks ago. Will speak to my son though.. have a lovely Christmas whatever you are doing

I say each 1 to their own, 8f you are looking forward to getting past Christmas thrn who is it to say its wrong, your perogative.

I absolutely love Christmas, i celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and i revel in the tree, presents, love, cuddles, films, making perfect memories.

I will say that i did feel a bolt of annoyance while i was painstakingly decorating the 6FT TREE and i have to say that yes, negative thoughts ricocheted around my head hahahaha, but apart from that i am loving the fact that joy and happiness is circulating..

I can identify. I just don't feel the same about Christmas at all. We lost a friend this month very unexpectedly and funeral was two days ago. I really can't be bothered. Im trying to pluck up the courage to say it's just all too much, but feel the family would be devastated. I honestly could not do that to them. Im not doing the cooking this year. It was a massive effort just to put decorations up. For me Covid has changed something in me, the constant uncertainty. I will never be so glad as to get to 2nd January. Sadly, I think next year will be the same. This virus isnt going anywhere. Im sure I come across as miserable and ungrateful and I don't mean to be. I do know Ive much to be thankful for. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, however you spend it and wherever you are.

Although my school days are in the very very distant past, I always think of September and December as the time for making new starts.

At the bottom of my report for the Michaelmas term 2021, the words “Could do better if she applied herself, more effort required” would be justifiably written.

At the beginning of the first lockdown, I certainly did “apply” myself. Jobs long overdue were completed, new tasks undertaken, every day filled to overcome the shock of lockdown. Gradually over time, things have become more lax, standards are dropping, things have been left undone, enthusiasm has waned. True more serious health problems have developed, but I think I am certainly reaching the ‘moaning old bat” stage.

Now, on Christmas Eve, we are looking forward to our family Christmas, and from now on I intend to give my head a good wobble, and be more than ready to meet whatever 2022 throws at us while simultaneously believing that things will get better, I’m aiming for A* at the end of the summer term!

A happy and peaceful Christmas to all, and a far better New Year than 2021.

I finished all my chores in time to sit down and listen to Carols from Kings on Radio 4. That is the start of Christmas for me, and the true purpose, whatever else may or may not happen.

As usual these days, it is just the two of us, and I don’t do much fancy food. But I am really looking forward to going to my daughter on Sunday, and my son will be there too, and all four grandchildren ( LFT s permitting).

Bluebelle, you definitely aren’t alone.

We have had a very difficult year, there have been some good times too but a lot of illness and sadness.

I am hoping 2022 is a better year for everyone??

paddyann54

Just 4 for christmas here and a toddler ,We've had 2 funerals this week one of them my MIL and another 2 next week of folk we;ve known over 40 years ,Both my OH and I are finding it very hard to keep a smile on our faces for the family.2022 needs to be much better ,not just for us but for most of the country.
Have the best of days that you can and All the best for the New Year

Sorry that you have lost your MIL, I remember you posting she was very poorly.

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas and New Year, let’s hope 2022 is kinder to us all.

Bluebelle you're not alone and it doesn't matter who agrees. Lots of people spend this week trying to live up to the myth of a happy family Christmas and falling short of the mark. Then feeling let down after spending a fortune trying to make it the best one ever. We were having coffee out this morning a woman on the next table was in tears telling someone that her teenage sons were already drunk and not interested in the family meal she had planned. Her husband apparently doesn't 'do' Christmas and she works hard to give her children a nice Christmas. So sad.

Whatever you are all doing - make sure it's something you enjoy and ignore what others are doing. A lovely Christmas to you all.