We need 6-8 pallbearers when we die

Make your own positivity. Be more proactive. This was my new years resolution. I've always held back, let things roll no matter how much they annoy me. Covid has made it worse I put everything off now. For this year I am going to turn things round it will be a slow process but it will help me immensely.

A positive thought for this year is that we are a third of the way through the most miserable of months and it has actually been quite good.

Today the sun is shining brightly and the birds are singing mightily. Catkins are blooming, winter jasmine is flowering yellow and the honeysuckle is already coming into leaf. There is hope.

I think the topic of pallbearers doesnt gel with the 'onward & upward theme?.......

A positive thought, no more COVID

Being outside, with good friends, is my favourite way to spend my time. We’ve discussed our respective wishes, in the event of our passing, but plan to buy a big house and live together in our dotage- employing our own staff. It will be a lot of fun, I think, and we will have lots of animals!

There are so very many kind and positive people in the world. It's why there's a need for appointments to donate blood.

I'm another one who fervently doesn't want a funeral. I've made my wishes clear, whether or not they stick to it I will never know!
Having experienced much kindness in my life, I honestly think there is more good than bad in the world. There are a milllion unknown acts of kindness every day.
It's still a wonderful world in many ways.

A couple of years back (pre-Covid) a local woman had an extravagant funeral and neighbours were invited.

We'd never even seen her family. Her house was pretty on the front, inside - shockingly basic (no central heating) lino, ancient kitchen (not fitted), sparse furniture, streaming windows - and bitterly cold.

It turned out that these 'caring' relatives (who'd suddenly appeared) lived 15 miles away. It was a 'guilt' funeral - oh, and a thorough raid through her house for anything of value.

We also went to a funeral before Christmas. I liked what the celebrant said, that the sons were carrying their parent on their final journey like they had been carried themselves as kids. I'm not sure I want my kids to have to carry me though. There is a lot about funerals that's just so upsetting that if there was a way to make it less upsetting, I would.

Yes that is true about memes :D My husband always says that the people who post the most memes have the most problems. Personally I don't have a problem with positive sayings because sometimes they inspire me.

I think doing a kind turn each day is a great idea. I do smile and talk to everyone I see. Some people do not welcome this, but most do and you quickly get to know who.

I sometimes think if everyone tried to do one kind turn a day the world would be a better place.

When our son died in September, the pallbearers were his teenage son, BiL and friends. The funeral director explained very carefully what to do, and it was really lovely if heart-breaking.
At his son’s request, the ceremony was as upbeat as possible - he told us he did want his dad’s funeral to be mournful.
And, yes, a smile or quick chat when out and about to anyone willing to communicate is a boon as it might be their only human contact that day.

I agree Lemongrove just a greeting and a smile helps. It could be the only contact a person has in a day.

Socksandsocks01

I've never seen 6 to 8 pall bearers. I think it's 4 as a rule because how would there be room for all those feet walking together in step. It's why the military practice alot for state funerals.

There were six pallbearers at a funeral we went to the other week. Four were from the funeral directors and knew exactly what they were doing plus the two sons of the deceased who did very well. The deceased was quite a small man.
I've seen a trolley used at others too. There have been too many lately.

What if we had that support now? To have 6-8 people who are kind and positive lifting us up?
Now we have to try to support the bereaved, sometimes all they want is to talk to someone.

I would like it if that were true Gaja ( your last sentence) but sadly think it’s not the case always.
Still, on an upbeat note, I believe in being friendly when meeting or passing anyone in the street locally, at bus stops or on walks, it can lift a person’s spirits instead of being ignored as if they aren’t even there.

It is legal to be buried in the garden of a house you own in England but you must be declared on the deeds, If the property is sold the new owner can have you dug up and removed,

On a lighter note ...... I think if you treat others with kindness and respect they will be there for you when you need it.

MissAdventure after all our ' announcements' to each other, i truthfully believed that some would definitely be played ( 1 of hers was *If i knew you were coming I would bake a cake.*)

I could NOT believe it when i was told that .... she didnt want a funeral ... i had to ask for those words to be repeated. I was told that she didnt want a funeral because she didnt want everyone sad and upset, THAT was 100% true of her, but after years of her announcements its threw me.

I've never seen 6 to 8 pall bearers. I think it's 4 as a rule because how would there be room for all those feet walking together in step. It's why the military practice alot for state funerals.

My daughter threatens to have Britney Spears playing at my funeral. It’s a family joke.

Did she have some of her music played at her funeral?

Funerals !

Well, i have instructions for my own written down, whenever that may be.

I dont want a single flower there, whats the point ! I dont like em.

I dont want a donation, collection plate in the way out, what i DO want is everyone to do a good deed for others.

When it was my mums funeral, myself and my DD walked with the coffin to the front of the church. We didnt carry my mum on our shoulders because the pallbearers were 6ft and myself and my DD are only 5ft 2" and 5ft 4".

When i was working, myself and my best friend ( working partner ) used to announce to each other that we had another funeral song ( i had about 30 so far !!! Hahahaha ) my friend used to joke that folk would need to take a week off work for mine !!

This 'announcement ' preceeded for the best part of 10 years until ...... until my wonderful friend, my soul mate, got cancer and died, she was only just gone 55 years old....

It's not as easy as thought to donate bodies to science. Not everyone is needed.

I was surprised to discover that if one has had an autopsy you're not needed either

You can be disqualified for whole body donation to science if you have an infectious or contagious disease such as HIV, AIDS, Hepatitis B or c, or prion disease. You can also be disqualified if your body was autopsied, mutilated, or decomposed. If your next of kin objects to the donation then you will be disqualified

And of course families can always overule which can and does happen.

MerylStreep

Tulpia
My body will be donated where I pop off. They are needed ?

A relative of mine had donated his body to science. He died at the beginning of December, 2021. Body not needed, oversubscribed at present.

Glammanana
I have read all the paper work and am very aware that that is a possibility. The next option would be to be fed to the fish ?

In parts of Japan your group of close friends is called a moai and is thought to be a reason for longevity.
www.bluezones.com/2018/08/moai-this-tradition-is-why-okinawan-people-live-longer-better/

With regard to pallbearers, we went to a funeral just before Christmas and the pallbearers were the undertakers, very smart and not too many worries about them dropping the coffin which always concerns me with inexperienced pallbearers.

glammanana

MerylStreep

Tulpia
My body will be donated where I pop off. They are needed ?

My late husband donated his body quite a few years ago but the Teaching Hospital refused his request when the time came (late 2019) you cannot guarantee it will be accepted so have to have alternative arrangements in place in case of a refusal.

My MIL’s was turned down as well. Presumably they only need a certain number. At least the person concerned will never know so won’t be disappointed.