Am I being unreasonable

I’ve got no advice, but didn’t want to scroll past without acknowledging your difficult situation. I’m so sorry.

Thank you for advise I can’t meet up yet I’m not strong enough mentally this has hurt me to the core

Sadly, sometimes doing the right thing has a high price tag.

On the other side you need to face the fact that your daughter is being unbelievably selfish and you may need to assess your future relationship with her. If she is willing to sacrifice her father and endanger her mother's health for childcare then you need to be careful about any other help you offer and be prepared for her to fail to offer either of you any help if either of you are serioualy ill.

Hi Jude,
You were acting by the letter of the law to ask for a PCR, as you know Lateral Flow is for when you have no symptoms. It looks like you daughter may have reacted to not having child care and may well need to get a more formal arrangement however there will be many twists and turns for her and she may well need to come back to you anyway to help as places and days are not guaranteed. In the mean time perhaps pay to go out to coffee / lunch somewhere neutral with her and ask her how shes feeling? See what comes out and gently explain that COVID is life threatening for your husband which is why you were concerned. If she still remains unreasonable then you may have to sit back and be supportive from afar with calls and small gifts, there may be more going on that you know.

You did the right thing, in my opinion, Jude2019. They are behaving in a selfish and irresponsible way, whilst you are protecting your vunerable husband. I do hope you make a full recovery and that your daughter sees the error of her ways.

You did the right thing getting the PCR test - if you hadn’t, you’d have been much more likely to have infected your husband as you wouldn’t have known to keep your distance from him.
You need to explain to your daughter just how ill you’ve been.
When she finds out just how expensive daycare is she may well realise how much money you’ve saved her over the years, and come back asking you to have the children again. And the 2 year-old will be wanting to know why he’s not going to your house any more.
I hope you manage to smooth things over.