Things that only happen in soap operas

Aussie soap report here:
Once you move into the area you lose all the friends you knew before and never see them again.
When you go to University you will never be allowed home during holidays.
People suddenly find they have a son or daughter they knew nothing about. They appear and take over their life.
More to come....

They never get their sleeves caught on door handles.

If there's a wedding or a party everyone always has amazing new outfits even though they haven't got two hapenniess to rub together. Weddings are always organised with about a fortnight's notice.

They can fit 10 people in a 3 bed house, and they don't have to spend hours on the phone to the council to let them know.

Nobody ever watches TV in soaps.

Nobody ever comes out of the toilet and says "I wouldn't go in there for half an hour!"

When you get married all of your wedding party and guests will be neighbours, even if you've only lived in the area for ten minutes.

If it's a soap based in a workplace eg Casualty, the only people you ever invite to your birthday bash or weddings are your work colleagues.
Likewise, for example, Midsomer Murders
They never have any friends or relatives.

Their babies and children never interrupt their conversations constantly.

If there are two brothers, one is always good and the other always bad and the bad one always sleeps with the good one's wife.

They always push their dinner around the plate instead of getting on and eating it.

Someone decides to throw a party, next day or even the same one, and everyone will turn up. No babysitters required apparently.

Holidays are arranged at a few hours notice. The holiday clothes are never in the wash, or up in the attic - they’re all packed and in the taxi in plenty of time.

Ambulances arrive within the minute.

People are arrested in the pub or cafe on no evidence whatsoever, minutes after someone has reported them for something of nothing. Always two officers to make the arrest and nobody is ever told off for wasting police time.

All ceremonies take place in the 'garden' in the car park at Holby. Also everyone can also park right outside the door. A miracle I've never observed in any hospital I've ever worked at or visited.

Everyone can pay rent despite mainly being in part time, minimum wage jobs, prime example Eastenders. A two/three bedroomed flat in one of the houses on the square would cost in the region of £1800 per month in real life, yet most manage to pay this from the proceeds of 20 hours a week in the caff, or running a market stall.

Aussie soap report again:
People always arrive unexpectedly, they never phone or text to say they're coming. That includes people who caught an earlier flight than expected.
When there's a fancy dress party everyone wears the most lavish and amazing outfits even with just a few hours' notice.
Those who never seem to work or have unprofitable jobs live in the biggest houses and drive flashy cars, while the professional people with good jobs live in the caravan park.

A doctor, nurse or policeman never work shifts. They just walk around in their uniforms booking days off willy nilly. No one actually has tea in their mugs, or clothes in their suitcase. No one one ever spends half the day thinking what to cook for tea, or stops mid conversation to nip for a wee.

Aussie soap report again:

People keep having dreadful accidents and we have a hospital visit every week.

They are often close to death with life-changing injuries but make a full recovery, sometimes within a week or two and usually with no lasting effects.

Aussie soap doctors are amazing. The same doctor will treat you whether you go in for cancer, brain surgery, pregnancy or toxic poisoning. And you will usually be seen the same day or even on demand!

The one that always makes me laugh is the fact that they all seem to own cars yet where are they parked? In Coronation street it has been funny over the years to see so many people living under the same roof. I wouldn’t want any of them living with me!!! Also when I have watched Classic Coronation Street and the sewing machinist are working away - what training have they had?

You can decide to go on holiday at a moment's notice. No need to book anything or wash some clothes to take with you or arrange for someone to put out your bin or feed your cat, you just announce you are going, walk out of the door with a prepacked suitcase, jump in a taxi and off to the airport for a flight you have not booked but will definitely be allowed on.

Oh something else, even if there's a really acrimonious break up at some stage in the future that never rules a very possible reconciliation, re marriage/vow renewals and the happy couple continuing down life's path until the s**t hits the fan again, as it surely will.

When there is a break up someone leaves to start a new life with one small suitcase, same for going on holiday

You can see the GP on a Monday- usually walking in and getting an appointment- referred to a Consultant and seen at the end of that week and if surgery is required there is a bed available mid-week next week.

If it is major surgery, on the operating table for many hours- no time required in ITU or even the post-op ward. Back to one's single room and able to enjoy a hearty supper.

halfpint1

When there is a break up someone leaves to start a new life with one small suitcase, same for going on holiday

I was going to say this, but you beat me to it . Also, if you are a character in need of sympathy you leave with all your worldly possessions in a bin bag.

You can have a new kitchen and a complete redecoration in under a week, with no one having to move out or any workmen seen.

These are all so funny and so very true.
???

A lone female has the strength to load a dead body into the boot of a car, dig a grave and bury the body with not a hair out of place.