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How do you deal with persistent unwanted behaviours?

(56 Posts)
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Ohmother Fri 28-Jan-22 20:52:00

This would be so helpful to me at the moment. We’re having the 4 yr old tmr and last time at bedtime he kicked off. Literally!!! It hurt!

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Grandmabatty Fri 28-Jan-22 19:47:46

My grandson went through a hitting phase if he got over excited or didn't get what he wanted. We had an agreed course of action. We would say "kind hands only", ignore the hitting, then immediately distract him with another activity and praise his good behaviour at that. It seems to have worked.

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M0nica Fri 28-Jan-22 19:44:14

How old is the hypothetical child?

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janeainsworth Fri 28-Jan-22 19:04:57

I’m not sure deterrent is quite the right word.
More behaviour modification, so that the child is shown a different way to behave & is rewarded (with praise & attention, not sweets or new toys), while the unwanted behaviour is ignored if possible, or if not possible to ignore, explained why the behaviour is unwanted.

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Tina49 Fri 28-Jan-22 18:54:40

they like it and want to do it = they get attention maybe?

So discourage the behaviour / give a consequence as appropriate - and then give them some love / attention?

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Peasblossom Fri 28-Jan-22 18:51:31

Following on from the smacking threads really.

I think most people are agreed that smacking is a no.

But then what do people do to stop a deliberate, persistent unwanted behaviour.

I’m not talking about the once or twice, trying it on to see what happens. I mean the behaviour that is deliberate and gives the child enough pleasure that they want to continue with it.

I’m thinking particularly of the deliberate hurting of a younger sibling or classmate. But it could be anything that the child is determined to do because they like it and want to do it.

What would be an acceptable deterrent?

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