Recipe for Boris' Ambush Cake

Love it !

* Choose a robust 7" tin to withstand the hard bashes,
* sieve out and discard all the lumpy components,
* add sultanas and almonds to make it as nutty as a fruit cake, and after emptying the cake onto beat your own drum with a wooden spoon
* hide it in the refrigerator to cool off

* onto a wire tray

Add some Gaviscon as this cake is unpalatable to most.

Add a good layer of marzipan as a cover up.

I am not clever enough to add to this but THANK YOU!

A large pinch of bi-carb in the mix---to assist the wind-bags.

I bet dear Phoenix would have come up with some amusing additions.

That's so funny! You have inspired me.
Boris's Hangover Cure (To be used after parties that weren't parties, or you didn't realise were parties whilst you were there, but you got shit-faced anyway)

Take
1 large guffaw
a couple of Urrumphs
2-3 shakes of the head
1 artificial apology
1 sheepish grin (as used when berated by Carrie)
1 shrug of the shoulders.
Mix together. Marinade in a large slug of "I'm a bad boy but you love me" for as long as you want.
Serve any time of the day or night when a journalist appears.

Colonic irrigation- after speeches !

I love these posts! How about its being The Boris Cook the Books Book? and we could add 'Household hints'.
His friends clean up when he dishes out PPE......for instance.
There must be some good household hints we can learn from him. Any ideas?

The Blue Boar Bar in St James’ do have a genuine cocktail called BORIS ON THE ROCKS

Cachaça, Crème de Mure, Passion Fruit, Elderflower

It sounds sickly I think.

Denial Pudding.

I was not aware.
I didn't know.
It didn't happen quite like that.
Guidelines were adhered to.
It wasn't me Miss.
Sir it was Starmer.
Ooh er Matron.
Heavily whipped cream and washed down with lashings of ginger beer.

Or perhaps just good old Eton mess?

Good job Boris likes to have his cake and eat it