Old friends

watermeadow I understand why you are sad. Suddenly age is a reality when you are losing people. I have a friend a lot older who is in a home but we have been able to support her husband who was beating himself about the decision. Next week going to a memorial service for a neighbour. I didn't really know her but DH sees her OH in a group so feel obliged. Can't deny that covid has aged people either physically or mentally. Do stay and share your anxiety when necessary, people do care.

So sorry you are feeling sad because of your friends illness and another in a home. This has been a difficult time the last two years and it’s affected young and old alike. The amount of people I know with mental health problems is astounding. I am 65 my older friend has been under the weather for some time. She has been diagnosed with heart trouble and she is worrying about it. Her husband has started having long bouts of depression that just came out the blue. Another best friend has had three operations for breast cancer.
I think as we age we hear of illness more and we take notice more too. When younger we don’t quite take it as serious somehow. I would try to make arrangements to see your other friend more maybe meet half way to have a coffee or lunch. I would see as much of your friends as you physically can and surround yourself with loved ones. It will brighten you up and chase the dull cloud away that’s making you sad.?

I got to thinking similar earlier today watermeadow. Older friends who were vibrant, enjoyable company who are now much reduced in personality owing to ill health or bereavement. Or have died recently. Some of our ‘older’ friends (in their 80’s) included one who was an ex professional football player in his day for a London team - one very small weekly wages then!, one dear lady danced professionally at the London Palladium when Bruce Forsyth was a compère - goodness, she has lots of tales to share still! There’s another who played in a band and knew the Beatles in their very early days. He too has so many anecdotes.

It’s so sad this passing of time isn’t it, that robs us of people we have had fun and laughter with during the sunlit days gone by? Memories are bittersweet.

My almost 90y old stepfather said last night that since Covid, more than 20 members of his local Club, most of whom he chatted to regularly each week, have passed. He was certainly aware of his own gift to be still enjoying his life. My late mum used to refer to them all (herself included, bless) as ‘the coffin dodgers’.

I feel for you watermeadow and sadly you are not alone in this.

Watermeadow in the last couple of years I’ve lost friends and former colleagues all younger than me (I’m in my early ‘70s). I guess we just have to be grateful whatever age we are and don’t dwell too much on it.

I only have the one friend left and she will be 100 this year.
She used to be a very talented lady with many hobbies but this past year or so has started to forget how to go about doing them and some of her paintings and drawings when she was 90 are absolutely super. Unfotunately she never learnt how to use a computer. She must be one of the last WW2 Land Army Girls left and in my eyes an amazing lady.
I will see if I can get the one of her cat on here that she did when she was 91.

I will be 92 in May IF I am lucky. I am kept busy answering folks worldwide about how life was many years ago.

I keep in touch with my family through Facetime and it was a godsend during my time in hospital with being able to do that.

It’s very painful, Watermeadow to lose friends in this way.

I’d been lucky this way until three years ago when a friend the same age as me (64) died suddenly of a condition none of us had ever heard of. It was a terrible shock as her Dh was disabled and we’d always expected him to be the first to go. In fact, he then died the following year.

After that, it was one loss after another, including my beloved older sister. Close friends have died, one of my DD’s friends died aged 23 and older neighbours have passed away.

It’s been a hard few years, that’s for sure.

We are in our late 70s and in the last year have started
to see contemporaries succumbing to the problems of age.

Until now, although friends have died/gone into care. they have either been older than us or died of conditions they had suffered from for decades.

Last week a friend told me that his wife, now in hospital, is going into care. She has osteoporosis and has fallen down the stairs twice in the last year. Her second fall, a fortnight ago, broke so many bones that she is going to be left so injured there is no alternative. He and his wife are a year or two younger than us.

I come from a large and generally fit, mentally and physically, and long-lived family and I must admit I am finding it disconcerting.

Thanks everyone. I am cheered by Maywalk’s amazing ability in knowing how to post a picture and her friend’s talent in drawing that beautiful cat. I must have a go at drawing my own darlings, a naughty little dog and two gorgeous cats.

I also have a WW2 website Watermeadow but had to neglect it when hubby had Dementia and I kept breaking bones with the Osteoporosis, plus me starting with Epilepsy at the age of 80 and then having a pacemaker put I when I was 82.
My motto in life has been always look on the bright side and there are many more folk far worse off than me, although I am now disabled through the broken hips and other limbs over the years that have never healed.
I keep in touch with the outside world through my computer and have SO many coming to me from worldwide wanting to know tales from the past. They tell me I am living history and I am surprised at the amount of folk contacting me from so many countries.
Keep well.

watermeadow same here, I am sitting here this afternoon, just this morning I posted I was going to see a friend and now she is in A&E with a suspected heart attack, very worried for her. I have also lost a longtime friend a couple of years ago when she fell down stairs. It does make you treasure the friends you do have. Beautiful drawing of the cat.

We have lost most of our friends, sadly ,all the best ones really . They were all a bit order than us but when old school friends are dropping every year it makes you think . We had a great socila life 15 years ago but no it has gone .

I dont personally know what you are going through but i go to see a lady who will be 90 in May she said she cant ring this friend and she cant ring that friend because they have all passed away, her brother is gone and so is her sister, i have no words of comfort for her, 2 years ago her niece died suddenly and i so wanted to hug her ( Covid ... no, no,) but what words would help !

She said to me " There is only me left now."

When i am sat with her, nearly all of her conversations are of the past, her face lights up and she skips happily down memory lane.

It certainly leaves me with a knowledge to enjoy life while i can and with who i can and cherish alllll my memories.

Maywalk, i wonder if your elderly friend has ever recorded her reminiscences from land army days, for posterity.
if not perhaps you could do this, just conversation really, if you have a modern hone.
many libraries and museums would love to have that material.

hone your recording skills with a modern phone.

With reference to people passing who have interesting stories to tell, I'm a firm believer that everyone should write their life story. Most people don't think of it, but just imagine if you could read all about your grandparents' or great-grandparents' lives. If writing is not possible, then as you say a voice recording is better than nothing. Unfortunately though, people tend to ramble when talking. The memories come in waves and it's not always clear who or when they are referencing. The listener may have to prompt them with questions about who or when.

welbeck

Maywalk, i wonder if your elderly friend has ever recorded her reminiscences from land army days, for posterity.
if not perhaps you could do this, just conversation really, if you have a modern hone.
many libraries and museums would love to have that material.

No unfortunately she didn't welbeck. I tried to get her talking once or twice about it and even took her to WW2 re-enactment venues but it did not seem to click that she to was a part of that era. Sadly she is too far gone now to recall much.

I have written all mine down and had some published to get money for my local Childrens Hospice.

It helped to get much aggression out of me of what I had been through as a child, once I had written it down.

Maywalk Interesting that you say helping to write down childhood experiences helped you. I had a happy childhood but I think that moving several times at critical times in my youth affected and unsettled me. This also happened in adulthood due to DH's work and might explain what I am feeling now in my older years.

I would like to add my bit to the subject of writing things down.

To cut it short, i was adopted at 6 weeks old, my mum and dad were PERFECT but i carried a HUMONGOUS feeling of rejection, went to counsellors and psychotherapist, nothing helped.

I began to write booked ( fictional) and 5 of the 7 were based on adoption, i laughed, i cried, i wanted to hurl my mug at the wall ( getting my hurt out ) and i can honestly say that getting my feelings out of my head and onto paper ( laptop ) helped FAR MORE than any counsellor or psychotherapist.

Im a big, big believer in writing things down ..

watermeadow I know exactly how you feel.

A few of of DH's friends are in their 90s!

It's sad that we haven't managed to meet up with people much due to Covid and other reasons and now find we'll never be able to see them again (not in this life, anyway).
So many friends have died in the last couple of years and not, as far as we know, from Covid.
We also lost someone much younger too, which was saddest of all.

Maywalk you keep on inspiring us as does another very elderly Gransnetter!

watermeadow can you think about joining some groups eg U3A, WI or a Guild? Members will tend to be older but of mixed ages.

Thankyou for the kind words Callistemon21.

I have already had the local History organizer contact me for a verbal tape of my WW2 memories for the library.

Anything I write about, be it in verse or just a tale, are all true happenings that I have lived through during my 91+ years on this earth.
Take care and keep well everyone.

Not older but one of my dearest friends has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and it’s knocked me for six and scared me, too. We have so many shared memories and I always thought that when we were both really old we’d still be talking about the books we were reading and places we’d visited together.