Helicopter parents!

Try very hard not to be…..always think if my children were my in-laws would I still say what’s on my mind, if I wouldn’t then I try to zip it

No news is good news…

Sounds like some ties still bind very tightly.

Nice to think someone cares though.

As a family we always text each other after a journey, it’s called caring. My Mum used to say to me let me know when you get to wherever and I used to say Mum don’t worry I’m blahty blah years of age but now how I wish I still had my Mum to care about me. Loving, caring and sharing is my family motto.

I got five texts last night from DD telling me how to prepare for the coming storms, even asking if I have a torch by the bed. She goes days without contacting us normally and nobody bothers. I think living in the States through their winter storms has made her much more aware of the danger. She has just told me not to go out as there might be chimney pots being blown off.
It's up to your own family I always phoned my mum when I had been on holiday because she wanted me to. If none of you minds then it does not matter.

My 2 DSs are like this with me. If I get a scam call or email I post on FB to warn others as some of my friends and family are not very aware of scams. Then my 2DSs put loads of comments advising me it's not genuine, how to ring bank, SKY etc from another phone, not to disclose my details over the phone etc. So annoying as I'm trying to help people who would fall for it and not needing advice myself

My DD was in at work at 6am today. She sent me a text to say she'd arrived safely because of the storm. So far so good. She's set up Snapchat so that I can see where she is if she's out clubbing (she's at university, some distance from me), because if anything happened, at least I'd be able to point emergency services in the right direction. Anyway, I seldom check it unless she's told me that she's going somewhere new to her and for some reason, I looked this morning. It showed her as being beside a railway line - for an hour. I couldn't raise her on the phone and have to say I was beginning to seriously consider calling the police. I'm glad I didn't as she was okay (she called me when she saw I'd tried ringing her). Snapchat had blipped. She crosses the line on her way to work and it froze her there, presumably something to do with the weather! One of the longest hours of my life!

Nandee

Hi my understanding of helicopter parents is one that they are younger parents who don't fully care for their children I.e they are in day care etc and the parents just hover around but are not fully engaged.

no, quite the opposite. have never heard this interpretation of it.

Calling to say you have arrived safely doesn't seem like helicopter interfering to me...its just kindness really!!

As others have said, all this depends on how your Acs feel about your behaviour OP

My ds is 39 year old, a very well train member of the armed forces. I texted him this morning, at 6-30, to tell him drive safely and stay at home if he can. Because of the storm. He did texted back, I promise to be safe, and I phoned my DD and DS2 last night making sure they knew where they knew where the touch was. Yes I am a helecopter parent, do you think that's why they live 2 hours away from me lol

Yes best to back off. I am a believer in letting them make there own mistakes, that’s how you learn, I learned the hard way and came through it.

welbeck

back off and rest your rotors.
else you may be confined to the hangar.

??

Hi my understanding of helicopter parents is one that they are younger parents who don't fully care for their children I.e they are in day care etc and the parents just hover around but are not fully engaged.

I’m 54 and my mother is like this with me
She messaged me constantly and tries to tell me what do all the time. It comes from a place of love I know this but it’s beginning to drive me crazy!
She’s nearly 80 and we live 10 minutes away from each other. I feel guilty because I don’t visit as much as I should but her constant ‘parenting’ is really starting to get to me

Just pull back a bit you’re relationship will improve if you

Re my previous post - just received text from SIL - " you're grounded"..

Growing up I was always expected to phone and let my parents know that I had arrived safely and to phone to say i was on my way home. My children have done the same and the expectation is that we let them know that we are safe home when we visit. I feel it's a courtesy from a visitor as well on the same lines that phoning up after a certain time in the evening (used to be 9pm then but later now I'm the adult!) unless it is an emergency is polite.

I have a helicopter daughter ?

That’s exactly what I’m like with my Mother. Pick & choose what she’s told/invited to. My daughter is getting married in August, I’m going mother of the bride shopping with her tomorrow,?would love to have invited my mother along but have chosen not to because of total take over, even though she’s 80!!

Marydoll- same here. My children are always offering "advice " on things I should and should not be doing, and checking up on me. Clearly, they do not regard me as a competent adult. Yep, Helicopter son and daughters are a thing..

Didn’t the name start being used by university staff to describe undergraduates whose parents accompanied them to open days and got involved in their university work?

My mother used to phone me in the early morning with disaster stories from her dreams the night before that I had featured in. She genuinely believed that she was protecting me from the perils the day had in store for me. The fact that none of them proved correct did nothing to deter her.

When DS was away at uni in St Andrews, he managed to fall down some steps in ice and break his nose. His friend set off to drive him to hospital, but the Tay Bridge was closed due to high winds. So what did he do? He phoned me!
I told him to call 999 which he did and a police car got him to hospital.
Unless they were sick, I have never fussed over my DC and in their turn they are not HPs either. We worry, of course we do, but we try not to show it.
Texting to say you have arrived home safely is a courtesy I would expect from any guest.

When DH and I were first married we lived in Conwall.when we went back after a visit I always phoned my parents to say we had arrived safely. We weren't on the phone so I used to go down the road to the phone box!! Fast forward 30 years and it was me asking my DD to phone when she and her DH had arrived home safely after a visit to us! When they go away she always texts us to say they are safe, we do the same to her. My parents till the day they died, always worried when we went away, and were relieved when we were safely back. I'm the same with DD and she is the same with her DD,'s! Apart from that we rarely interfere in each other's lives, neither did my parents with us, only giving advice if it's asked for and then tactfully!

When I used to travel up to the ex, he always found it amazing that I didn't phone my mum as soon as i arrived.
I always snickered at him when he came down to see me and had to phone his.

Then, after I'd met his parents a couple of times, I reached for my phone the minute I got to his.
To phone his mum and let her know I'd arrived safely!

I dare say I will “helicopter”my kids until I am in my box…?

Our youngest flys a lot so I do ask him to text on landing, he is otherwise dreadful at keeping in touch!
He famously once wrote to us from school; “they made me write this letter”. We used to have a competition in the family to see who could keep him on the phone the longest.
From 18 he has lived abroad mostly so we have had to just trust he is OK, malaria and dengue fever featured in my dreams!

The middle one is so good now and always keeps us in the loop.
He was a horrendous teenager and didn’t calm down until he was nearly 30, he caused us many sleepless nights.
I once had to dash down to London from Yorkshire as he had a drunken fall that nearly cost him an eye.

The eldest speaks to each of us daily, she was a nightmare too!

We have had many scary moments, disappointments and sleepless nights but have never “micro managed” them.